When Harry Kane played golf with Donald Trump

Harry Kane has been my favourite footballer of the last few years, and I have defended him against most unfair, and occasionally fair, criticism.

He played golf with Donald Trump.

Harry Kane scored six goals in this World Cup, but none since the world found out he played golf with Donald Trump.

I'm disappointed England were agonisingly defeated in the semi-final of the World Cup, but a tiny bit relieved. For over a year, the slightly sickening thought had occurred to me that he year that football finally came home our splendid team would have to share the winning stage with Donald Trump, and look happy and say nice things about him.

Well, that happened and we didn't even get the large pay-off of winning the World Cup.

What was the precise sequence of events which meant Harry Kane played golf with Donald Trump? Who sought out who? It doesn't really matter. We know Donald Trump has spent his life getting his claws into famous people. There's many an American sports star who counts Trump as a "friend". I was similarly grossed out when Rory McIlroy, a smart thoughtful Northern Irish sporting superstar I've always liked, spoke out postively about not just Trump but Elon Musk. But Trump is so intrinsic to golf, so unavoidable, and, well, golfers are golfers, there's not a left-wing bone in their whole body, and they're individuals who play for themselves.

Harry Kane is the captain of the England men's football team, and he played golf with Donald Trump around 18 months ago, made a sufficiently good impression that Trump called him a really nice guy, and when somewhat sheepishly, but not very sheepishly, reminded of it last week, said it was surreal, a great honour, and complimented Trump's golf game. 

I know what sportspeople are like. I know that it conforms with the sportsperson's mindset to trend to the right, or to be entirely indifferent to politics. I have always liked Harry Kane, not just because he has been a tenaciously excellent striker, far exceeding any reasonable expectation of him, for my club Tottenham Hotspur and for England, but because he really seems like a nice man, who treats people with respect, is universally liked by people that play with him, doesn't show off, and is smarter than he seems. I still think that about him. But he's the captain of the England football team and he played golf with Donald Trump.

Actually, in this increasingly awful world and country of open racism, prejudice, violence, repression, lies, corruption, and division, the England football team does, or can, mean something. Gareth Southgate understood that and his team represented that. The England men's football team represents (as does the women's team,  in similar but different ways), more than most things, an England to believe in. A team made up of young men born in England whose parents and grandparents were not born in England. Of smart, likeable men who have had to fight for everything they're achieving since they were small children. Bukayo Saka, Marcus Rashford, Jude Bellingham, Declan Rice, Harry Kane.

Sport is not left-wing, but, of all sports, football, indeed western European football, football may be the most left-wing. Many of the greatest western European football managers - Ferguson, Shankly, Guardiola, Clough, Klopp, Cruyff, Dalglish - have been outspoken left-wingers.

I do not like the fact that, in that context, the England captain Harry Kane just went and played golf with Donald Trump, who is, my sources suggest, a murderous racist gangster rapist, one of the worst human beings that has ever existed, and Harry Kane said it was surreal and an honour.

He doesn't have to be glued to Bluesky and have read Das Kapital, but he should, having been England captain for almost a decade, having worn a rainbow armband and knelt before games, always said the right things when required to, understand the context of not finding a way not to play golf with Donald Trump.

This isn't the most disappointed I've been in an England football leader.

This was,

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/12743654/roy-hodgson-i-couldnt-pick-rio-ferdinand-and-john-terry-at-euro-2012-due-to-furore-surrounding-racism-case

when the loveable, erudite manager Roy Hodgson, faced with the choice of taking to Euro 2012 either the world-class defender Rio Ferdinand, whose brother Anton had been racially abused by John Terry, or the world-class defender John Terry, who had racially abused Rio Ferdinand's brother Anton, chose John Terry. 

I'd been wondering to myself recently why I hardly watched hardly any of Euro 2012, and it was that. I'd simply had enough of England at that point. It wasn't an England I cared for. Once Terry was gone, I tentatively returned, and Southgate brought the sense that actually the England football team could be a force for good to the fore in a way it had never been before.

So, at the World Cup where John Terry, who, surprise surprise, has recently come out in support of far-right party Restore Britain, is England's official representative in the FIFA box, shown on TV pretty much every game to an unheard-by-the-powers-that-be right-on Bluesky response of "Fuck off John Terry!", we find out that England's likeable, good egg captain Harry Kane played golf with straightforward evil gangster tyrant Donald Trump, and we want England to win the World Cup a little bit less, and, for all the good he's done, we feel it's time Harry Kane wasn't England captain anymore.

Although we don't know their politics and we don't know that they wouldn't play golf with Donald Trump, we feel it's time the England captain was Jude Bellingham, or Declan Rice, or, why not, Bukayo Saka or Marcus Rashford. [I'd say Marc Guehi, who has clear leadership potential, but he's already had a bit of a https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/clyj2e3dg14o hmmmm moment ...]

So thank you Harry Kane, for all the magnificent goals, may you win the Ballon d'Or you almost but don't quite deserve, may you win the Champions League you won't quite be able to seize, but I'm afraid I can't help but feel that England didn't win the World Cup because you played golf with Donald Trump, because, for all your qualities, maybe if you'd been sharp and brave enough not to play golf with Donald Trump, you'd have been able to seize all those little moments you didn't quite seize in your magnificent career, sadly forever defined by the fact that you didn't win the World Cup or the Euros, and you played golf with Donald Trump.

All the Number 1s of the 2020s, so far, ranked - REDONE

I made this list over a year ago, but I'm going to do it again, as there have been some great Number 1s since then. I'll leave in most of my original comments, and add a few more. New songs in bold.

The pop charts are not that lively these days in that lots of the same songs hang around for ages, but I think it is an era with a high end of pretty great singles, and great in a very accessible, universal way.

Nevertheless, we must begin with ...

96. LadBaby - Food Aid. I'd not actually listened to these before, just reasonably assumed how bad they'd be, but I actually listened to some of this today, and it's way worse than could possibly have been imagined. Just unbelievably bad to listen to. Makes me hate this country even more than i already do.

95. LadBaby featuring Ed Sheeran and Elton John - Sausage Rolls for Everyone. This is much better. Only kidding.

94. LadBaby  - Don't Stop Me Eatin'. This is much better. Only kidding.

93. Michael Ball, Captain Tom Moore and the NHS Voices of Care Choir - You'll Never Walk Alone. Hahahahahaha. Probably my favourite band, Michael Ball, Captain Tom Moore and the NHS Voices of Care Choir.

92. David Guetta and Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue). Aah look no, i couldn't stand this first time around, i don't want to revisit it.

91. Lewis Capaldi - Wish You the Best. They do grate after a while, the Capaldi songs, I'm afraid.

90. Ed Sheeran and Elton John - Merry Christmas. Ching-ching. I mean, all Christmas songs are ching-ching, but this really takes it to the next level.

89. Tion Wayne and Russ Millions - Body. I like the name Russ Millions, and I actually quite like the sound of this, but I found it wearing.

88. Jack Harlow - Lovin on Me

87. Saint Jhn - Roses

86. Gayle - ABCDEFU. As we will continue to find out, they're very sweary, the young ladies of popular music.

85. Lewis Capaldi - Survive

84. Lewis Capaldi - Forget Me

83. Ed Sheeran - Shivers

82. Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas Is You. I'm pretty certain that the main reason I still don't like this is that, when I was 15, I was shocked by the opportunism of it having been recorded in summer. Imagine. Hootenanny! But, there we go. The world may love it, but I still do not.

81. Alex Warren - Ordinary. One of these modern blokes.

80. Sabrina Carpenter - Taste

79. Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits

78 Internet Money featuring Gunna, Don Toliver and Nav - Lemonade

77. Lewis Capaldi -Before You Go

76. Adele - Easy on Me. Have hardly listened to Adele for more than ten years, but a few seconds of listening to this extremely Adele-like song, and I still find the vowels and the consonants annoying, I'm afraid.

75. Drake - Toosie Slide

74. 24kGoldn featuring Iann Dior - Mood

73. The Fate of Ophelia - Taylor Swift Too many annoying lyrics in this one.

72. Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding - Miracle

71. Elton John and Dua Lipa - Cold Heart (Pnau remix). Kind of works ok.

70. XMAS - Kylie Minogue

69. Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone - Fortnight

68. Little Mix - Sweet Melody

67. Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo - Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)

66. Ariana Grande - Positions

65. DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch - Rockstar. Definitely not the worst song called Rockstar.

64. Eminem featuring Juice Wrld - Godzilla. Eminem's ability to still have massive singles is actually pretty impressive, and this is a perfectly good single.

63. MK ft Chrystal - Dior. The singer actually has a really nice voice, but there are far too many songs about brands these days.

62. Justin Bieber - Daisies

61. BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge Allstars - Times Like These. Don't mind this all that much, surprisingly. The song suits the treatment quite well, most of the singers don't over-emote, and, yeah, unlike that creepy Hollywood Imagine, it seemed quite a sweet gesture in those zoomy gloomy days.

60. Hozier - Too Sweet. Hozier's enormous success it definitely one of those modern things I don't understand much. But fair enough.

59. Beyoncé - Texas Hold 'Em. Didn't like the album at all. This single is actually fine. but not good like Beyonce can be good.

58. Eminem - Houdini

57. Miley Cyrus - Flowers

56. Ellie Goulding - River. Again, didn't mind this. I remember it got to Number 1 purely on the back of being on a playlist, which is rank. And I'm not really a fan of Ellie Goulding, but River is an all-time song, and not the kind of thing one really hears in the pop charts, and she sings it really carefully and appropriately, if those don't seem like extremely weird adverbs to use.

55. Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion - WAP. Yikes, well crumbs, well really ...

54. Lewis Capaldi - Pointless. When he sings "airs and graces", it's hard not to warm to him. Hymn to Richard Osman, this.

53. Joel Corry and MNEK - Head & Heart

52. Ariana Grande - Hate that I Made You Love Me

51. Carolina Gaitán, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero and Stephanie Beatriz - We Don't Talk About Bruno. And this was actually, fact fans, the first Disney film Number 1.

50. Noah Kahan - Stick Season. Now, this being, of pretty much all of the 73 years of UK Number 1s, the one song on the surface that  looks closest to the kind of music I have generally liked the most - beardy, sensitive, somewhat rural American men with guitars doing gentle, harmonious, tunes -, is a source of bafflement to me. If this song had turned up halfway through  a Fleet Foxes or Iron and Wine or Ray LaMontagne or Midlake or Band of Horses album, I don't think I'd have picked it out as a hit. I don't even hate it. It just sounds like a song. But it's a worldwide smash. Kids love it. Everyone loves it. Sometimes I don't get pop music.

49. Dave and Central Cee - Sprinter. Stylish, but not loveable.

48. Ed Sheeran - Eyes Closed

47. Charli XCX featuring Billie Eilish - Guess

46. Lola Young - Messy. It's good, it's just, there's a lot of swearing, and a lot of the same milieu about. It's a welcome milieu, but there are a lot of these about.

45. Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please

44. Taylor Swift - Anti-Hero

43. Sabrina Carpenter - Manchild

42. Wham! - Last Christmas

41. Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande - Rain on Me

40. Taylor Swift - Is It Over Now?

39. Benson Boone - Beautiful Things. I imagine this has inspired more awful karaoke versions than almost anything else in history. I'd give it a crack myself on a bad night.

38. The Beatles - Now and Then. I thought this was rather good, all things considered. But I much prefer Days We Left Behind.

37. Gracie Abrams - That's So True.

36. Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal  - B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)

35. Chase & Status and Stormzy  - Backbone

34. Olivia Rodrigo   Drivers License

33. Doja Cat - Paint the Town Red. Kid came home singing this. Radio edit. Mainly.

32. Kenya Grace - Strangers

31. Olivia Rodrigo - Vampire. Kid came home singing this. Radio edit. Mainly.

30. Gigi Perez  - Sailor Song

29. Dave and Tems - Raindance

28. Lil Nas X  - Montero (Call Me by Your Name)

27. Sam Smith and Kim Petras - Unholy. This is a song with some pizzazz, I must say.

26. Harry Styles - Aperture

25. Nathan Evans, 220 Kid and Billen Ted - Wellerman. This is nice to listen to. There we go.

24. Olivia Rodrigo - Good 4 U

23. Dave - Starlight. 

22. Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy - Own It

21. Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso. 

20. Djo - End of Beginning

19. Dua Lipa - Dance the Night

18. Taylor Swift - I Knew It, I Knew You. Very nice.

17. Sam Fender and Olivia Dean - Rein Me In Genuinely fascinated by how vastly successful this song is, looking like it's going to break all records for weeks at Number 1 in the UK. It is a properly a nice song, and has clearly tapped every nerve and every market that can reasonably be tapped.

16. LF System - Afraid to Feel

15. Olivia Dean - Man I Need

14. Billie Eilish - No Time to Die. I think, if I'm not mistaken, this was the first time Billie Eilish displayed her capacity for grandeur.

13. Huntrix/Ejae/Audrey Nuna/Rei Ami & KPop Demon Hunters Cast - Golden

12. Taylor Swift - Opalite

11. Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us. Honestly, i have tried to hate this, found it deeply unedifying, but it is just the work of a master.

10. Raye featuring 070 Shake - Escapism

9. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill. One of the greatest songs ever, and gives hope to all other great songs that they'll randomly, cos of a TV show, get to Number 1 40 years later.

8. Olivia Rodrigo - Drop Dead. I really like the music on this Olivia Rodrigo album. Lovely crisp indie-pop. Much prefer it to the last one.

7. Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club. Of course, if Good Luck, Babe had, instead of stalling after several weeks at Number 2, snuck to Number 1 for just one week, it would be right at the top, but Pink Pony Club is also, unquestionably, very enjoyable to listen to.

6. The Weeknd - Blinding Lights. Also good. The most streamed song ever. The first song to 5 billion streams on spotify. I imagine, most times it has been streamed, people have thought, "yup, this is a good song".

5. Harry Styles - American Girls

4. Chappell Roan - The Subway

3. Harry Styles - As It Was. Yes, of course. But also, you know on Watermelon Sugar, when he's going "I just want to taste it, I just want to taste it", is that lifted from SFA's Smokin'? (i know that song took that from somewhere else but it's all pretty obscure ... has anyone else asked these key questions?).Anyway, As it Was. Good. I had Blinding Lights above it, but I definitely prefer As It Was. Sadder, dreamier.

2. Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For? A few years ago when mockney doofus and musical maestro Dan Abnormal got into trouble for saying he didn't really rate Taylor Swift's songs (and, more questionably, she didn't write them all by herself), but he loved Billie Eilish, at the time I thought "well, he probably hasn't listened much to either of them, he's probably just jetlagged and irritated" ... but now I think, having myself listened to them both an awful lot more,  he had listened to them both and he knew exactly what he was talking about. It's not a slight on Taylor Swift, whose songs are often excellent, but they really and truly just don't have ... whatever Billie Eilish has ... let's call it depth. Depth is the simplest, best word, isn't it. Writing and performing a hack song for the Barbie song, Billie Eilish and her brother managed to make something with some real depth.

1. Raye - Where is My Husband Just one of the best singles of all time, I think. The album, sadly, less so, but what a hit.