Thursday, 13 March 2025

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1980s - ranked

As I suspected, these are much better. Much much better than the Number 1s of the 1990s. Much harder to separate. Even a lot of the quite bad ones are fun and silly, rather than cynical and grotesque. I guess a part of that is I didn't experience most of the 80s in the same way as I did the 90s, actively invested in music and resenting the music that I had to hear over and again, clogging up the charts. But there are definitely various big shifts for the worse in chart music in the 1990s.

Take a band like Duran Duran, who I've always thought of as a band I don't like. Well, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing objectionable about the way they went about their work, I just don't particularly like the sound they created ...they had two Number 1s in the 80s and they're both ...ok. But they'll be pretty low down this list. Sorry, Duran Duran. 

So, let's enjoy the hits of this relative golden age. Again, these are in order of my favourite, not any particular kind of historical judgement.

191. Band Aid II - Do They Know It's Christmas? Perhaps fitting that the worst Number 1 of the 80s is the first Number 1 of the 90s. I don't really have anything against it, it's just a truly terrible-sounding record with a comically underwhelming parade of passing stars.

190. UB40 and Chrissie Hynde - I Got You Babe. Well, one thing this has told me is how much I do not like the sound of Ali Campbell's voice.

189. UB40 - Red Red Wine. Indeed.

188. Johnny Logan - What's Another Year. Do you know, I'd basically never heard this, and I think I always thought it would be grandiose, but I was underwhelmed ...

187. St Winifred's School Choir - There's No One Quite Like Grandma. First record I listened to was St Winifred's School Choir sing the hits ... so maybe I should be more forgiving ...

186. Phil Collins - A Groovy Kind of Love. Actually, my loathing for this is purely because i remember looking at the charts in the newspaper and a sibling asking "what's Number 1?" and i found this a really icky title to say, so froze up and blushed ...

185. Bucks Fizz  - My Camera Never Lies

184. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?

183. Julio Iglesias - Begin the Beguine (Volver a Empezar). Not a good version

182. Aneka - Japanese Boy

181. Dave Stewart with Barbara Gaskin - It's My Party. Not a good version

180. Spitting Image - The Chicken Song. I guess it was funny at the time.

179. Captain Sensible - Happy Talk

178. Stevie Wonder - I Just Called to Say I Love You

177. The Firm - Star Trekkin'. I guess, at the time, it was funny.

176. Glenn Medeiros  - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You

175. Nicole - A Little Peace

174. Shakin' Stevens  - Oh Julie

173. Aretha Franklin and George Michael - I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me). I'm always a little taken aback at how little I like Aretha Franklin's singles of the 80s and 90s.

172. The Crowd - You'll Never Walk Alone. There were three (3!) Liverpool-related Charity tragedy Number 1s of the 80s. This one was after the Bradford stadium disaster.

171. Madonna - Who's That Girl

170. David Bowie and Mick Jagger - Dancing in the Street. The thing is, though it's funny and silly in retrospect, this record, at the time, made me think David Bowie was lame, Mick Jagger and the Stones must be rubbish, and Dancing in the Streets was a rubbish song, and it took a decade for me to realise I was wrong about all of those.

169. Sonia - You'll Never Stop Me Loving You

168. Rod Stewart - Baby Jane

167. Fern Kinney - Together We Are Beautiful

166. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers  - Let's Party. I know these are rubbish, but I enjoyed them at the time. It was the first time I'd heard the songs they sampled...

165. Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County. Well, i didn't really know this, and i listened to it, and it's darker than i thought.

164. Shakin' Stevens - Green Door

163. Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall (Part II). Think i actually hate this. Think i'm doing a gross disservice to Sonia and Shaky by placing it above them.

162. Culture Club  - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me

161. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes

160. Bros - I Owe You Nothing

159. Philip Bailey and Phil Collins - Easy Lover. This is actually a really good record, and the only reason I hate it is my neighbour two doors down is the drummer in a wedding band and they rehearse in his garage, and one summer I was hearing them bash through Easy Lover about five times every Saturday ...

158. Chris de Burgh - The Lady in Red

157. USA for Africa - We Are the World. Well, i watched a whole documentary about the recording of this one song, so i can't hate it that much ...

156. Doctor and the Medics - Spirit in the Sky

155. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

154. Billy Ocean  - When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going

153. Tight Fit - The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Number 1 on the first TOTP I ever watched.

152. Wham! - I'm Your Man

151. Boy George - Everything I Own 

150. Jason Donovan - Sealed with a Kiss

149. Aswad - Don't Turn Around

148. Phil Collins - You Can't Hurry Love

147. U2  - Desire

146. Boris Gardiner - I Want to Wake Up with You

145. The Jam - Start! Always my least favourite Jam hit. I've never really been able to get anything from it. 

144. Goombay Dance Band - Seven Tears. One of the least cool records ever, but quite a nice tune. 

143. Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

142. Wet Wet Wet / Billy Bragg and Cara Tivey  - With a Little Help from My Friends / She's Leaving Home. Nice that Billy Bragg had a Number 1, but ...

141. Renée and Renato  - Save Your Love. From this point, I think, I like most of the songs, even when they're a bit silly.

140. New Kids on the Block - You Got It (The Right Stuff)

139. Michael Jackson  - One Day In Your Life. I remember they played this one the radio they day Michael Jackson died.

138. John Lennon - Imagine. Presumably they played this on the radio they day John Lennon died.

137. The Detroit Spinners - Working My Way Back to You – Forgive Me Girl

136. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers  - That's What I Like

135. Kajagoogoo - Too Shy

134. Jennifer Rush - The Power of Love

133. Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder - Ebony and Ivory

132. Shakin' Stevens - This Ole House

131. Olivia Newton-John and Electric Light Orchestra - Xanadu

130. Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up

129. Cliff Richard and the Young Ones featuring Hank Marvin - Living Doll. Think we had this single. Pretty funny. 

128. Jackie Wilson - Reet Petite

127. Jim Diamond - I Should Have Known Better. I associate Jim Diamond with crabapples, but that's another story ...

126. Kylie Minogue - Hand on Your Heart. Probably the least of Kylie's Number 1s, but still, nice enough.

125. Odyssey - Use It Up and Wear It Out

124. Joe Dolce Music Theatre  - Shaddap Your Face

123. ABBA - Super Trouper

122. The Timelords - Doctorin' the Tardis

121. Nick Berry - Every Loser Wins. Every single one.

120. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers - Swing the Mood. Everything i know most surely about morality and obligation, i owe to Swing the Mood by Jive Bunny

119. John Lennon - (Just Like) Starting Over

118. Cliff Richard - Mistletoe and Wine

117. Pet Shop Boys - Heart

116. Ferry Aid - Let It Be. Should be higher, really, because of the Norwegian comedy celebrity mimealong, one of the greatest things ever ...

115. Phyllis Nelson - Move Closer

114. Steve Silk Hurley - Jack Your Body 

113. Duran Duran - The Reflex. Might actually be my favourite of theirs ...

112. Berlin - Take My Breath Away

111. Foreigner - I Want to Know What Love Is

110. MARRS - Pump Up the Volume

109. Madonna - Papa Don't Preach

108. Robin Beck - First Time

107. Pet Shop Boys - Always on My Mind

106. Nena - 99 Red Balloons

105. Paul Hardcastle - 19

104. The Special A.K.A. - Too Much Too Young - The Special A.K.A. Live! (EP) 

103. Simple Minds - Belfast Child. Pretty weird that this was a Number 1 single

102. Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

101. Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan - Especially for You

100. Fairground Attraction - Perfect

99. Roxy Music - Jealous Guy. Bryan Ferry is up there with Ali Campbell in terms of vocalists i can't abide, but he can't ruin Jealous Guy.

98. Chaka Khan - I Feel for You

97. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up

96. Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now. A great song, this. The powerpop Rubinoos version slightly spoilt the Tiffany version for me.

95. Kylie Minogue - I Should Be So Lucky

94. George Michael - Careless Whisper

93. Ben E. King - Stand by Me. I began writing a blog 16 years ago because of thinking about Dock of the Bay, what an immensely good song it is, and how it is just kind of "there", and I suppose Stand by Me is the same thing ... just "there", but when you really listen to it, a wonderful thing to listen to.

92. Feargal Sharkey - A Good Heart

91. Charlene - I've Never Been to Me

90. Kelly Marie  - Feels Like I'm in Love

89. The Christians, Holly Johnson, Paul McCartney, Gerry Marsden and Stock Aitken Waterman - Ferry 'Cross the Mersey. A bit like with the Dunblane Number 1, this was genuinely moving and part of something that profoundly affected the country. I also think this is a really nice song ...

88. The Bangles - Eternal Flame

87. Whitney Houston - Saving All My Love for You

86. Madonna - La Isla Bonita

85. Starship  - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. Quite bad, really, but I do love "let'em say we're crazy"

84. Don McLean - Crying. I used to have a Don McLean tape and I confess i thought his version of Crying was great, so there we go.

83. New Edition - Candy Girl

82. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax

81. Yazz and the Plastic Population - The Only Way Is Up. I owned her follow up single 'Stand Up for Your Love Rights', which i heard in the Co-op recently, and that's a right-on record!

80. Smokey Robinson - Being with You. Well, not his greatest song, obviously, but quite good really.

79. Blondie - The Tide Is High. Blondie's covers were always so good, that they're barely covers at all.

78. Madonna - True Blue

77. George Michael - A Different Corner

76. Culture Club - Karma Chameleon

75. The Mash - Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless)

74. Soft Cell - Tainted Love 

73. Adam Ant - Goody Two Shoes

72. KC and the Sunshine Band - Give It Up

71. Midge Ure  - If I Was

70. The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me. There was a version on a Police Greatest Hits my brother used to have which was slower, and i liked that a lot better ...

69. Mel and Kim - Respectable. We are generation "tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-ta-tay-tay-tay-tay"

68. Kraftwerk  -The Model / Computer Love. Apparently some people like this band.

67. T'Pau - China in Your Hand

66. The Police - Every Breath You Take

65. Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record). This really is all the stuff students danced to badly, isn't it ...

64. The Flying Pickets - Only You

63. Enya - Orinoco Flow

62. S'Express - Theme from S'Express

61. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?

60. The Communards with Sarah Jane Morris - Don't Leave Me This Way

59. Men at Work - Down Under. I think probably for a while I thought it was the coolest, most quotable thing in the world

58. Billy Joel - Uptown Girl

57. The Specials - Ghost Town. Like not love

56. Lionel Richie - Hello. Although this is a silly song with a famously comical video, the bit where we sings "cos i wonder where you are and i wonder what you do" is one of those tunes (Woman in Love is another one) that absolutely haunted me during my childhood. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was in my head, and it was magical ...

55. Sister Sledge - Frankie

54. Survivor - Eye of the Tiger

53. Europe - The Final Countdown. Amazing that someone (Joey Tempest) wrote the synth intro to this, and it hasn't just existed for ever.

52. Whitney Houston - One Moment in Time. Probably thought this was the best song in the world for a while. I do love sport, after all.

51. The Housemartins  - Caravan of Love

50. Paul Young - Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home). Slowed down white boy soul covers, these ..

49. John Lennon - Woman. A very nice John Lennon song this - the best of the three that hit Number 1 after his death.

48. Madonna - Into the Groove

47. The Jam - Beat Surrender. Used to love Beat Surrender. Was probably my favourite for a while. Have you seen the TOTP performance? Such a weird set-up. Weller at the back on a platform with a backing singer, no guitar, dancing incredibly awkwardly - Bruce and a keyboardist in the middle, Rick Buckler on drums on the front.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BSpvQnbXAY&ab_channel=Jellyfan

46. Paul McCartney  - Pipes of Peace

45. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

44. Bucks Fizz - The Land of Make Believe. Pleasingly, a piece of scathing capitalism satire disguised as a pop song.

43. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - The Power of Love

42. Diana Ross - Chain Reaction

41. David Bowie - Let's Dance. I heard this when i was walking through Hyde Park a couple of summers ago. That summer when the grass turned white from the drought. Chic were playing BST, and Nile Rodgers was playing this, which he co-created ... quite a cool little thing to eavesdrop on ...

40. Wham! - The Edge of Heaven

39. A-ha - The Sun Always Shines on T.V. I used to listen to the Hunting High and Low album a lot, as my sister had it. That is a an album packed with tunes. I think that could easily be rediscovered as a lost classic. Even the non-singles are great tunes.

38. Black Box - Ride on Time

37. Jason Donovan - Too Many Broken Hearts

36. Eddy Grant - I Don't Wanna Dance. Aah, because this hardly ever gets played, it's quite a blast of nostalgia just to think of it.

35. Los Lobos - La Bamba. Well I found out recently that Dylan used this somewhat as the basis for Like a Rolling Stone, so there you go ...

34. Adam and the Ants - Prince Charming. It did turn out that ridicule was very much something to be scared of, but it gave us all hope for a while

33. Irene Cara - Fame

32. Madness  - House of Fun

31. Barbra Streisand - Woman in Love. What a tune!

30. David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes

29. Dexys Midnight Runners  - Come On Eileen. I have had phases of loving this, phases of loathing it, but it's always been a very nicely made song.

28. The Human League  - Don't You Want Me

27. The Police - Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. This is Sting's most joyous song, right? There are other good Police songs, even in his more maligned solo cannon, but there's nothing else so purely fun as is this one ...

26. Wham! - Freedom. 

25. Pet Shop Boys - It's a Sin

24. Blondie - Atomic. All of these songs are just classics.

23. Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson  - I Know Him So Well. Whereas this, I'm not so sure, but I love it. 

22. Pretenders - Brass in Pocket. Chrissie Hynde is just one of the greatest. I saw a clip of the Pretenders doing Don't Get Me Wrong on, like, Wogan, from the mid-80s a few weeks ago, and it was like watching Elvis or something. Pure rock star.

21. ABBA - The Winner Takes It All

20. Spandau Ballet - True 

19. Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls. A lot of people feel like this, i think, exactly the same way I feel about what will be Number 1. Just new and unique and perfect.

18. Soul II Soul - Back to Life (However Do You Want Me)

17. The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. I'm quite interested in the Hollies. I always loved Allan Clarke's voice - just a lovely, flexible, English pop-soul-country voice, but Nash is a real fascinating character. The most groovy-baby guy in rock, you can kind of tell he's a bit of a volcano too. Wrote some lovely songs. When he's interviewed, he always calls people something they're not usually known as, to show that he and they were great mates. Art Garfunkel is Arthur Garfunkel, David Crosby is always just Crosby, Joni Mitchell is always Joan. Anyway, the Hollies were more experimental than given credit for, Nash left because it wasn't enough, then the band reverted to the basics with this beautiful country cover. Anyway, saying all that ... i just love this song so much. 

16. Bee Gees - You Win Again

15. Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

14. Blondie - Call Me. Especially in American Gigolo. Just one of the best bits of music in film. Richard Gere in 1980 - a handsome man, i think one would say ...

13. Lisa Stansfield - All Around the World. Not as perfect, but a wonderful record in the same way that Would I Lie to You is.

12. Queen and David Bowie - Under Pressure. Quite a strange record. Has some slightly cringey moments, but the best bits really are as good as you'd hope.

11. Marc Almond featuring Gene Pitney - Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart. Scowlets for me, scowlets for you.

10. Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth.  Thinking about the fact that I first heard this in Going Live 38 years ago is really something. 38 really is a lot of years.

9. Musical Youth - Pass the Dutchie. 

8. The Jam - Town Called Malice / Precious. Funny the different relationship Weller has with this and his other biggest hit song. As a solo artist, he's played this over 350 times. The other one, well, setlist says Zero, but it's not zero, he definitely played Going Underground once or twice for special occasions in the early 2000s... but Town Called Malice has become a Weller singalong but the Motown rip-off single is still where it's best. Precious is pretty good too.

7. Whitney Houston  - I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)

6. Dexys Midnight Runners - Geno

5. Adam and the Ants - Stand and Deliver. Dexys and Adam and the Ants are twin bands, for me. Just marvellous stuff. Like Richard Gere, Adam Ant was handsome in the early 80s.

4. Michael Jackson  - Billie Jean. I wonder if more people have danced to this song than any other. People never are not dancing to Billie Jean. Ignition was not big enough not be cancelled, but this can't be cancelled.

3. Eurythmics - There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart). 

2. Madonna - Like a Prayer. Blissful.

1.The Jam - Going Underground / Dreams of Children. I suppose I could have made it something else. This song no longer thrills me, but it did for over 20 years. I don't think there was a Number 1 like this before - so unglamorous, so spiky. Still blows my mind that it was meant to be the b-side to Dreams of Children. Dreams of Children is decent, but this is the one, the song of Weller's life.


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