Song 46: Clocks

Clocks - Coldplay
So it seems i'm not the only one round here making lists, goddammit! BBC Radio 6 Music have just counted down the Top 100 Tracks of their 10 year lifetime - they came up with th 100 themselves and then asked people to cast their votes from the selection.

Now, until the last couple of months, when we put a digital radio in the bathroom, I've never really listened to 6 Music, but this list of 100 coincided so closely with my own tastes I might as well have been the station's head of programming. That's either depressing or gratifying. I could look at it and accept I'm just a focus group stat, or I could say, since i've come at my own taste independently, it's merely a sign of my instinctively good judgement. I lean to the former.

Anyway, there has been some minor controversy (perhaps mainly in my own head) as the Number 1 of the Top 100 was the given Coldplay track, 'Clocks'. Predictably enough, really. They were the biggest band in the list by far and they asked their millions of Twitter followers to vote for them - apparently, you could just click to vote, so easy-peasy. Probably not the result 6 Music were hoping for, so there we go. 'Clocks' is the best ... .indie ... song ... of ... the ... last ... ten ... years. Oh yes it is.

Now look, don't get me wrong, I come neither to condemn nor praise Coldplay, nor indeed 'Clocks'. 'Clocks' is just another Coldplay song. And Coldplay are just another band, not the great enemy.

I have history with them, I admit, I'm not oblivious to them. I've even been fiercely accused of liking them at some points. But there's a difference between liking a band and not disliking them.

Back in 99, they, along with a band called Terris, were touted by NME as the future of British music. Exciting. To add to the excitement, one of my friends at uni knew them a bit, and so possessed rare (probably very valuable now) early singles and EPs and that. Even more exciting, before I'd heard them, they were being compared to Jeff Buckley, who was the very apple of my eye at that time.

I've written about this before, but when I first heard their single 'Shiver' I did not hear Jeff Buckley, I heard Shed Seven. But, saying that, I really warmed to 'Yellow'. I thought it was a sweet, classy song. 'Parachutes', the debut album, got great reviews, I bought it, was bored and disappointing.  I really liked 'In My Place' the first single from the massive 'A Rush of Blood to the Head', so I bought the album, only to be bored and disappointed. I quite liked the single ... so I bought the album ... only to be bored and disappointed ... you get the picture ... thank goodness for downloading, so I've finally managed to kick the Coldplay album-buying habit.

I have given Coldplay a chance, just like I gave Jesus a chance. That juxtaposition, o reader, is not an accident. Like me, Chris Martin loved Jesus when he was a teenager. He also studied Classics. He is in my Venn Diagram. I am in his. I feel like he could be doing an awful lot better. I understand how much of his lyricism flows from Hymns Ancient and Modern and extempore prayer sessions. I understand that his vocal stylings reflect a repressed man suddenly finding a way to express himself, begging to be loved. It's ok. But he should be doing an awful lot better.

Chris Martin always seems very nice in interviews, and not nice in a boring way, he seems edgy and witty and odd. He's a clever man who has thought about every bit of this. He is not shy about proclaiming the band's ambition and how much work they put into it. He does, however, admit, that his lyrics aren't the best. So maybe that's all there is to it.  But he's an intelligent man, who puts endless effort into his band. That's not good enough. One has to think he does it on purpose. None of those words give the slightest bit away about him as person, none of them are really clever or sharp or unusual, they're just not. He does it on purpose, he does it because he isn't daring enough to test or shock his audience. and that's what's a little disappointing.

Some critics of "the new boring" sometimes unfairly say Snow Patrol and Elbow and a few others are Coldplay copyists. Which I think is wrong on a number of levels, firstly because both those bands have been going longer than Coldplay, secondly because they've never been afraid of unusual noises and revelatory lyricism - Snow Patrol have suffered for their rather naked ambition and skill with a rock ballad, but a proper rock band still beats in there - Elbow, well Elbow, are in a different league really, (though they share the ambition and skill with an epic ballad, so sue them).

So, Coldplay, on they go. I hope I haven't fallen into the trap of just dismissing them as bland. They are what they are, I've given them some thought, I imagine watching them live would be very enjoyable, I can imagine being moved by a song like 'Fix You' if I was in the mood to be moved by it - but they disappoint me.

Maybe I feel like the one ex-Christian public school boy Classicist who gets a proper shot at rock'n'roll superstardom should really do it with a little more panache, I don't know. Write a fucking song, dude, a real one. Write like Nick Cave. Write like Stuart Murdoch. Like Gruff Rhys. Like Stevie Wonder. Like Joni Mitchell.

'Clocks' is, of course, the best song of the last 10 years. It's actually pretty good, It's got that famous cyclical riff, it's super catchy, kind of timeless, it slightly overrides cynicism. I hope I haven't seemed cynical.