The Best British Things

What are the best British things? A great stupid question.

I want to avoid, if it's even possible, being too cliched about it, or too phoney. I'm certainly confining it to recent times, and certainly not going to mention too many things which I don't directly love myself. Some people say "national treasures", though it's become a ghastly phrase. As it happens, I'm not going to include Stephen Fry.

They can be macro things or micro things, they can be a moment in time or an era.

I always have a trigger for a dumb idea - this time the trigger was Alan Partridge - has any character ever been so faultlessly well-realised across a variety of different formats for so long? Alan Partridge is a thing of such incredible genius, it's stayed strong through being a sketch of a sports reporter, a chat show host, a sitcom staple, a radio show host, an author, an author talking about being an author, an action hero, a documentarian. He's skewered everything it's possible to skewer, he's given a generation (my generation) it's very best catchphrases. And Partridge from 1992 is as funny as Partridge from 2013 and as funny as Partridge from 2020 will be, but never stuck and safe, always developed and different. I think Alan Partridge may be the very best British thing I can think of.

Well, best small thing. Best big thing ... well, it might well be the progenitor of Partridge, the BBC. It's good that recent events are giving people cause to pause and think about how amazing the BBC is. I'm currently constantly 2 seconds away from an angry rant about the people who are intent on taking it apart and those that would let it happen ... most of them probably get their news on how wasteful and bloated the BBC is from the BBC ... I'd pay £1000 a year for it, you can quote me on that.

I'm not going to mention Shakepeare or Paul McCartney or really anything not in its prime after about 1990, I'm not going to mention war heroes or scientists, really it'll just be cultural things, though that's got a pretty broad sweep to it.

I've been thinking about it for a while - here's something slightly interesting I noticed. It's quite striking a) how few British films of this era really feel like like they're going to do down as classics, that are groundbreaking, faultless, bold. Not that there aren't loads of very good enjoyable British films but here's b) the more interesting thing - so many of them seem to be "about Britain", showing it off, advertising it, saying what a grand country it is and what splendid people it produces etc. We know why this is to an extent - it's the formula for "quality" British merchandise making it in Hollywood. So, you know, Pride, Belle, The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, The King's Speech, The Queen, East is East, even something like The Full Monty. There are too few acclaimed British films that could be something other than British, if you see what I mean.

Out of all that lot, and even the more offbeat likes of Trainspotting and Under the Skin, of Dead Man's Shoes, I found it hard to elevate anything cinematic to the level I'd hope.

So perhaps Shane Meadows, Mike Leigh, Ken Loach, each their own little industry/brand name/oeuvre. But are their films really consistently gloriously good enough? They may be, but it'd be disingenuous, I think, of me to include them,  though I'm a fan of all of them, they just didn't quite sit right for me, not like Partridge. Nick Park? Yes, probably, but, again, I'd be bluffing. Danny Boyle? He's rather a marvel, isn't he, though perhaps he's made a few too many films that didn't quite work.

But Danny Boyle does lead me on nicely, in as much he did a million times better job of doing exactly what I'm doing now, distilling the best of British, in July 2012. And if the London Olympic and Paralympic summer wasn't a treasure to be proud of, I don't know what it is.

Pretty self-explanatory. The Olympics. On the BBC. Big scale marvels ... The Olympics ... won under Ken Livingstone ... I'll lose most people here. Ken Livingstone's career is not short of cringeworthy moments, but I think he's the greatest politician of our time. Systematically, relentlessly, spun against. To even begin to compare his achievements as London mayor compared to his successor's ... his successor's most lauded achievements were just inherited from him. I really truly feel like he did so very much for London, embodied London truly, transformed it for the better and could have done more. A lot of people really hate him. So be it. I think he's been a powerful force for good.

And of course ... moving on ... he guested on Ernold Same, by Blur. Now, music gave me as many problems as film really ... the big scale might say Acid House, might tentatively say Britpop, might say Glastonbury - I think I'll skip past their huge imperfections and sour tastes and the names that came to my mind were Damon Albarn, Roots Manuva, PJ Harvey, Gruff Rhys and the Manic Street Preachers. I would say that, though. But, you know, over time, daring, humanity, representing the best of Britain, hope for the new music, big ideas, bravery, these are the ones for me. As many people would say Massive Attack. Radiohead, Portishead, I suppose ...

Then, going really small, Yes by McAlmont and Butler. Here it, look at it, make it up. Nothing like it.

Let's go big again ... Edinburgh Festival ... is just an amazing thing ... so's the Notting Hill Carnival, though more condensed. But Edinburgh Festival, what a thing it is. So many comedians ... talking of comedians, I'm going for Ross Noble. Seeing him for the first time, 3 years ago, I came out pretty certain it was one of the very best "things" I'd ever seen.  Has to be seen to be believed. This is a master.

Staying with comedy ... the people of League of Gentlemen, all they've done and all they do.

Free museums. The National Gallery just being something you can wander into for a few minutes if you're popping into town.

Talking of art, not a specialist area of mine, people who make grand inclusive artistic statements that really work ... Jeremy Deller and Antony Gormley tentatively suggested.

The East Coast main line.

Manchester United under Sir Alex Ferguson.

Steve McQueen's ongoing career.

Bill Drummond ... perhaps.

David Suchet's Poirots, all 68 of them.

Our Friends in the North, of course.

Tony Harrison ... Ishiguro ... and, look, I've never read a word of it, never seen more than a frame of it, but as a model for heart-warming and valuable success and how not to let it be spoilt however enormous it became, what JK Rowling did with Harry Potter is incredible and wholly admirable.

Tom Stoppard, very much so. Gosh, there's nothing subversive about what I'm coming up with, is there?

Emma Thompson. Kristin Scott Thomas. Daniel Day-Lewis. Extra level, something other than actors. Peter Mullan.

Quizzes ... cups of tea ... I think I'm losing focus ...

once I let something slightly off-topic in, I could go on and on.

Basically, it's Alan Partridge and the East Coast main line. Best we've got ...