All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1960s - ranked

Quite a curious tale, this. You'd expect the 60s Number 1s to be the best. This was the decade, after all, when popular became great, when the two bands considered the greatest of all time were also the two biggest. This was the decade of Motown, of folk-rock, of the British Invasion, of Psychedelia, and all of these were completely in the mainstream. Yet, curiously, the Number 1s very often miss the mark.

There are very few Motown Number 1s in the UK - just three. No Stax or Aretha Franklin. No Dylan, no Who. I'd say that, generally, the Beatles songs that got to Number 1 are not their best songs. They're still great, but, if I'm making a list of my favourite Beatles songs (which I have done), only 2 of my favourite 20 got to Number 1. This is less true of the Rolling Stones, where their Number 1s are really great, some of their best ever songs.

The main issue, of course, with ranking the Numbers 1 of the 1960s, is, of course, the early stuff. The pre-enlightenment stuff. Obviously, there were many great songs before 1963, but they didn't make it to the top of the UK singles charts, clearly. Working my way through the songs I didn't know before 1963 was such a slog. More even than I thought it would be. The best part of the whole thing is it gave me the best insight I've ever had as to what hearing the Rolling Stones for the first time was actually like - when It's All Over Now finally turned up on my playlist, it was like a bolt of lightning.

Saying that, one of the fun parts of doing this has been discovered unknown or barely noticed gems. There were more in the 70s but still a few here. But we start with ...

186. Cliff Richard - Congratulations. Well, I've always hated Congratulations, and that's that. Cliff will not, in general, fare too badly here, but I have 40 years of loathing for this song.

185. Johnny Preston - Running Bear. Of its time, shall we say.

185. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Little Children. Of its ...

184. Jet Harris and Tony Meehan  - Diamonds. These two were in the Shadows. There is so much Shadows-related stuff in the early 60s, and, with all due respect to Hank's skilz, it is a bit heard-one, heard-em-all.

183. The Shadows - Dance On! As above.

182. Frank Ifield - Confessin'. Frank Ifield had four Number 1s. Did you know that? Four!

180. Elvis Presley  - Wooden Heart. Presley's Number 1s in the 60s were mainly twee, unbecoming, tat, this being the epitome of that.

179. The Temperance Seven - You're Driving Me Crazy. Well, I know there weren't seven of them. 

178. Jimmy Jones - Good Timin'

177. Cilla Black - Anyone Who Had a Heart. Slightly ludicrous to put this magnificent song (probably one of the best songs on the whole list) so low, but I'm Team Dionne Warwick.

176. The Four Pennies - Juliet

175. Frank Ifield - The Wayward Wind. Not Frank Field.

174. Elvis Presley - Good Luck Charm

173. Floyd Cramer - On the Rebound

172. Des O'Connor - I Pretend

171. Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames - Get Away

170. The Shadows - Foot Tapper. There isn't really all that much to say about many of these. Only so much fun being relentlessly specifically derogatory. I'll save it up. 

169. Frank Ifield - Lovesick Blues. A Hank Williams cover.

168. Michael Holliday - Starry Eyed

167. Georgie Fame - The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde

166. Elvis Presley - Surrender. Never meant shit to me.

165. The Shadows - Wonderful Land

164. Frankie Vaughan - Tower of Strength

163. Petula Clark - Sailor. Sounds like it will be more fun than it is.

162. Frank Ifield - I Remember You. The Ifield Supremacy.

161. Elvis Presley - Return to Sender

160. The Bachelors - Diane

159. Elvis Presley - She's Not You

158. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - I Love You. I will say, somewhat to my surprise, Cliff sounds much more coherent and engaged than Elvis in the 60s. Apart from Congratulations, none of his Number 1s set my teeth on edge, and a few of them, as we'll get to, are great.

157. Adam Faith - Poor Me

156. Marmalade - Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. My first encounter with several Lennon-McCartney songs (I didn't even know it was the Beatles at that point) was a Learn the Piano book we had, with basic versions of the tunes and the words underneath. Even then, with Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, I thought "what the hell's that?"

155. Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - Young Girl. Actually quite a good tune, but you know ...

154. Elvis Presley - Crying in the Chapel

153. Peter and Gordon - A World Without Love

152. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Bad to Me

151. The Shadows - Kon-Tiki

150. Eddie Cochran - Three Steps to Heaven. Probably an unfair placing but I'd heard this was a classic record, and I think I just thought it would be better ...

149. Gerry and the Pacemakers - I Like It

148. Jim Reeves - Distant Drums

147. Eden Kane - Well I Ask You

146. Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames - Yeh, Yeh

145. Ken Dodd - Tears. Sold a really vast number of copies.

144. The Searchers - Don't Throw Your Love Away

143. Cliff Richard - The Minute You're Gone

142. Elvis Presley - It's Now or Never

141. Engelbert Humperdinck - The Last Waltz. So we're out of the sludge and generally now at least have records with a bit of character.

140. Hugo Montenegro - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

139. Esther & Abi Ofarim - Cinderella Rockefella. Well, this is an odd record.

138. Anthony Newley - Why

137. Ricky Valance - Tell Laura I Love Her. There is so much tragic death in the Number 1s of the 60s. Really, people couldn't get enough of it ...

136. The Marcels - Blue Moon

135. Amen Corner - (If Paradise Is) Half as Nice

134. Helen Shapiro - You Don't Know

133. The Honeycombs - Have I the Right?

132. Gerry and the Pacemakers - How Do You Do It?

131. Mike Sarne with Wendy Richard - Come Outside. Actually quite funny.

130. Emile Ford and the Checkmates  - What Do You Want to Make Those Eyes at Me For?

129. The Highwaymen - Michael

128. The Rolling Stones  - Little Red Rooster. The lowest Stones Number 1. People always talk disparagingly about them being a blues covers band, and I kind of get it here. 

127. Jackie Trent - Where Are You Now. And what else did Jackie Trent do, of course? She wrote the theme for Neighbours.

126. The Seekers - I'll Never Find Another You

125. Johnny Tillotson  - Poetry in Motion

124. The Overlanders - Michelle

123. Scott McKenzie  - San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)

122. Sonny & Cher - I Got You Babe. Now a bad vibes record.

121. The Dave Clark Five - Glad All Over

120. Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight? At least this song is very Elvissy.

119. The Archies - Sugar, Sugar

118. Long John Baldry - Let the Heartaches Begin

117. The Equals - Baby, Come Back

116. Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg - Je t'aime... moi non plus

115. The Everly Brothers - Walk Right Back / Ebony Eyes. Walk Right Back is good, Ebony Eyes is another death record. The Everly Brothers always, of course, make a proper nice noise.

114. The Searchers - Sweets for My Sweet. I see, with this and Baby Come Back, I've really put the records pop-reggaefied by midlanders in the mid-90s close together.

113. Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual

112. Herman's Hermits - I'm Into Something Good

111. Elvis Presley - (You're the) Devil in Disguise

110. The Beatles - From Me to You. So this is the lowest Beatles Number 1, and really, although I've said their Number 1s are not my favourite Beatles songs, none of them are bad. Not even close. You'd be happy to hear all of them on a rainy day. From Me to You is a great record, by any standards. But I suppose there has to be some differentiation, and I've never loved it.

109. Frank Sinatra - Strangers in the Night. Haunted by Ray Stubbs' version of this on Celebrity Fame Academy.

108. The Monkees - I'm a Believer.

107. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - The Legend of Xanadu

106. Petula Clark - This Is My Song

105. The Everly Brothers - Temptation

104. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - Please Don't Tease

103. The Scaffold - Lily the Pink

102. Anthony Newley - Do You Mind?

101. Fleetwood Mac  - Albatross

100. Tommy Roe - Dizzy. This is, not surprisingly, a much better record than the Vic Reeves cover.

99. Gerry and the Pacemakers - You'll Never Walk Alone

98. B. Bumble and the Stingers - Nut Rocker

97. The Troggs - With a Girl Like You. Gave this a listen a few days and initially thought "that's not much of a song" but it's absolutely been going around my head since.

96. Cilla Black - You're My World. As a sworn Dionne Warwick supporter/loather of Cilla's voice, I expected to put this lower, put actually her voice does fine on this, and it's a very nice song, so I can't honestly put it too low.

95. John Leyton - Johnny Remember Me. Quite a fun, imaginative instance of the creepy-death songs those 60s kids loved.

94. Thunderclap Newman - Something in the Air

93. Joe Cocker - With a Little Help from My Friends

92. The Beatles - All You Need Is Love

91. The Tremeloes - Silence Is Golden

90. Frank and Nancy Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid

89.The Byrds - Mr. Tambourine Man. What's a bit weird is that I love the sound of the Byrds, so much so that when I had Pandora radio where you could build a playlist around an artist (seemed so innovative at the time) my first one was "Sounds like the Byrds", - but I just don't dig the Byrds. They're all so annoying in their grooviness. and just a bit empty. This record adds a little and takes so much more from Mr Tambourine Man.

88. Roger Miller - King of the Road

87. Johnny Kidd and the Pirates - Shakin' All Over

86. Lonnie Donegan - My Old Man's a Dustman

85. The Move - Blackberry Way. When I was writing about the Number 1s of the 1970s, I expressed mild remorse at being served at a bar ahead of the rock innovator Roy Wood, but I looked Roy Wood up and he's well Ukippy-Brexitty, so I feel less remorse now.

84. The Beatles - Paperback Writer. I couldn't figure out why McCartney had written Paperback Writer until I found our why he'd written it - as a challenge based on something his aunt said. Which makes sense. It sounds like an exercise in songwriting. It's good, but I've never loved it.

83. The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love

82. The Spencer Davis Group - Somebody Help Me. Steve Winwood is really, as a lot believe but not enough for it not to be true, say, one of the unsung greats.

81. Roy Orbison - Only the Lonely. Don't turn me home again, I just can't face myself alone again.

80. Elvis Presley - (Marie's the Name) His Latest Flame / Little Sister

79. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - The Next Time / Bachelor Boy

78. Manfred Mann - Do Wah Diddy Diddy. Paul Jones is another classic guy, still singing like a demon in his 80s. The odd fact that rock'n'roll really took off in the 1960s because the British middle and upper class boys really committed hard to it. Paul Jones has always had the air of an amiable family GP, but, boy, could he sing the "blues".

77. The Searchers - Needles and Pins. A fine record, but haunted by the wedding band and and feckin' and's version of it in The Commitments.

76. Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)? Just for a laugh, ahahaha

75. Sandie Shaw - Puppet on a String

74. Engelbert Humperdinck  - Release Me

73. The Hollies - I'm Alive. As mentioned before, I think the Hollies are one of the most interesting bands of the 60s.

72. Sandie Shaw - Long Live Love

71. The Rolling Stones  - The Last Time

70. Roy Orbison  - Oh Pretty Woman. Somehow that's a very funny title for a song, depending on how you emphasize it.

69. Danny Williams - Moon River. One of the greatest songs.

68. Helen Shapiro - Walkin' Back to Happiness

67. Bee Gees - I've Gotta Get a Message to You

66. Mary Hopkin - Those Were the Days. Produced by McCartney as well. and just a great tune.

65. Zager and Evans - In the Year 2525

64. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising. Well, did you know this is one of the tiny handful of songs on this list with over a billion spotify listens? Did you?

63. The Kinks - Tired of Waiting for You

62. The Beatles - I Want to Hold Your Hand. I gather some people liked it.

61. The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women

60. The Beatles - Lady Madonna

59. The Seekers - The Carnival Is Over. An authentically melancholy lyric and melody.

58. The Rolling Stones - It's All Over Now

57. Shirley Bassey - Reach for the Stars / Climb Ev'ry Mountain. 

56. Brian Poole and the Tremeloes - Do You Love Me. This is a reasonable effort by the Tremeloes at capturing the excitement of the original Contours version. This song was written by Berry Gordy himself. What an incredible man...

55. The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko. I think I only properly heard this when I was about 17, and it really thrilled me. The chorus seemed really daring.

54. The Shadows - Apache. As I said, the Shadows are a bit one-and-done for me. But this is the one - their most famous and memorable song.

53. The Tornados - Telstar

52. Ray Charles - I Can't Stop Loving You

51. The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night

50. Tom Jones - Green, Green Grass of Home. Bit of a sucker for the green, green grass of home.

49. Tommy James and the Shondells - Mony Mony

48. Bee Gees - Massachusetts. I think when I first heard this I thought it was called "My Seducers".

47. Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

46. The Beatles - Help!

45. Manfred Mann - Pretty Flamingo

44. The Animals - The House of the Rising Sun. Call Dave van Ronk ...

43. The Everly Brothers - Cathy's Clown

42. Desmond Dekker and the Aces - Israelites

41. The Beach Boys - Do It Again. This is very Mike Love's Beach Boys and it kind of pumps along, but, I don't know, it's a good tune ...

40. Roy Orbison - It's Over

39. The Beatles - She Loves You

38. Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love / Rock-A-Hula Baby. Ok, this is good ...

37. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon

36. The Beatles - Hello, Goodbye. Even Hello, Goodbye, I had it a bit lower, and then you just think, if anyone else had done this, it would have been their best, catchiest, most imaginative song ...

35. Manfred Mann - Mighty Quinn. After the crash, Dylan laid down lots of basic tracks with the band for other folk to have hits with, and it was a fair success. Quinn the Eskimo is one of his most throwaway, most catchy songs.

34. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - The Young Ones.

33. The Foundations - Baby Now That I've Found You

32. The Moody Blues - Go Now. Really into the classic "Best Hits of the 60s" petrol station compilations here ...

31. Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade of Pale. Fucked if I know, Terry ...

30. The Spencer Davis Group - Keep On Running

29. The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire. Still the unchallenged craziest ...

28. The Beatles with Billy Preston - Get Back. Tucson is in Arizona, yeah!

27. Chris Farlowe - Out of Time. Young Jagger wrote some nasty songs, all right

26. The Beatles - I Feel Fine. Because of its basic title, I always associate this with first flush of Beatles, but it's just at the transition to the next level, and it is a step up in sound and sophistication, but also just a great tune. 

25. The Supremes - Baby Love. In the good ol' US of A, the Supremes had 12 Number 1s. just absolutely swept the board, but here it was only one. This isn't my favourite Supremes song, but it's pretty magical.

24. The Walker Brothers - Make It Easy on Yourself. 

23. Del Shannon - Runaway. No Amitri, but a pretty good Del.

22. Bobbie Gentry - I'll Never Fall in Love Again. No Landed, but a pretty good Gentry.

21. The Rolling Stones - Get Off of My Cloud

20. Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World

19. The Beatles - Yellow Submarine / Eleanor Rigby. What were the Beatles? They were this, I guess.

18. Small Faces - All or Nothing

17. Unit 4 + 2 - Concrete and Clay. I half-knew this song, I guess. It's in a couple of cool films and it's on Kevin Rowland's My Beauty, but I'd never really properly noticed it until this week and it is a C-H-O-O-N tune! I think, right now, it is my favourite song in the world.

16. The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

15. The Beatles - Hey Jude. From the album The Best of the Beatles.

14. Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through the Grapevine

13. The Beatles - Ticket to Ride

12. The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

11. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - Summer Holiday. You know, there's Cliff Richard who is the weird, impossibly uncool, guy of our lifetimes and the Cliff Richard who is the really marvellous film star/singer of his prime, and all that stuff really is great. I love the song and the film Summer Holiday, and that's that.

10. Sandie Shaw - (There's) Always Something There to Remind Me

9. Love Affair  - Everlasting Love. Notwithstanding that this is a tune for the ages, I also like the fact that the band look like a bunch of Kent toughs from the mid-2000s.

8. The Rolling Stones - Jumpin' Jack Flash. Just really really good.

7.The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore. This was written by Bob Crewe, who wrote some songs, let me tell you ... Big Girls Don't Cry, Can't Take My Eyes off You, this, Lady Marmalade, Bye Bye Baby, Silence is Golden ... some songs.

6. The Kinks - You Really Got Me

5. The Beatles - Day Tripper / We Can Work It Out. WCWIO remains my favourite Beatles song, and, honestly, if this was We Can Work It Out /Day Tripper, it might be Number 1, but the fact that Day Tripper, which I don't really love, goes first, is unignorable... so 5 it is.

4. The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

3. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations. It needs to be said over and over again how much it was Carl Wilson who lifted the Beach Boys to the highest level of beauty. His lead vocal on this, on God Only Knows, on so much. 

2. Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There. Levi Stubbs was nooooo joke.

1. Dusty Springfield - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me. Someone's got to put Northfields on top ... apparently, Dusty Springfield needed over 40 takes to get this to her satisfaction. Rather like Rihanna, though obviously very different, she just had a voice perfectly suited to recording. Perhaps this is slightly contrarian, whimsical Number 1, but I also think, of its type, it's simply the best there is.

So there we go, that was the 60s, where something or other began between the end of the "Chatterley" ban and the Beatles' first LP, apparently.

I will, I think, go from this to the 2010s, but that will take a lot longer, and I may give up, if it's too arduous, though it is a task of some professional worth.

Otherwise, I think the Number 1s of the 80s are probably best, on balance, just about, against the quality of the music in general. Like, I think a lot of the very best songs of the 1980s were Number 1s, and I think that's less true of the other decades. But hey, what do I know?

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1970s - ranked

In the 1970s, I was mainly not alive, but am still fairly well acquainted with the Number 1s of the decade, through the wonders of modern technology. If I'd hoped to escape the spectre of wrong'uns having hits, seeing Two Little Boys as the first Number 1 of this decade didn't help. There are a few others of a similar ilk. None of them are good, so they will be the unmentioned worst.

Apart from that, it's mainly a good bunch, though the shift, around midway the ranking, from "that's a bit of a classic" to "ugh, I hate that" is more rapid and pronounced than in the previous decades I've written about.

The good things about the 1970s are that a) there are fewer Number 1s than in later decades b) there aren't charity records c) there aren't really talents show Number 1s.

The Number 1s in the year 1979 are really outstandingly good - maybe the best year ever for Number 1s (though I've yet to look closely at the 60s).

So, not counting the misdeeds of the worst of men, the worst Number 1 of the 70s was ...

165. J.J. Barrie - No Charge. I'd not heard this before. It is a horrendously anodyne piece of spoken word americana. I kept thinking there'd be a "and then she killed him" punchline at the end to make it worthwhile. Christ knows who bought this.

164. Little Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Lover from Liverpool. Just an awful thing to have to listen to.

163. Rod Stewart - Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? I don't think it would have mattered what Rod Stewart did once I'd heard this. Haunted by it.

162. Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall (Part II). Heard this so much growing up. Don't actually mind Pink Floyd in general, but hate this.

161. Telly Savalas - If. Further creepy spoken-word Americana without an obvious wink. How did Telly's image survive this?

160. Lieutenant Pigeon - Mouldy Old Dough

159. Typically Tropical - Barbados. Just a leeetle bit racist.

158. Windsor Davies and Don Estelle - Whispering Grass. Weird decade, this.

157. Chuck Berry - My Ding-a-Ling. Thing is, Chuck Berry doing a creepy song like this in the era when he was a creepy guy is just not cool. Johnny B Goode this is not.

156. The Manhattan Transfer  - Chanson D'Amour

155. Middle of the Road  - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

154. England World Cup Squad - Back Home

153. Ray Stevens - The Streak. God, so much weird spoken word Americana. This one tries to be funny, at least.

152. Kenny Rogers - Lucille. The kind of country music I hate.

151. Brotherhood of Man - Save Your Kisses for Me

150. Showaddywaddy  - Under the Moon of Love

149. Donny Osmond - The Twelfth of Never

148. The Floaters - Float On. Weirdly unpleasant. Definitely not a patch on the Modest Mouse song of the same name.

147. Billy Connolly - D.I.V.O.R.C.E. The comedians.

146. Benny Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West). The comedians.

145. Status Quo  - Down Down

144. Lena Martell - One Day at a Time

143. Royal Scots Dragoon Guards - Amazing Grace

142. Clive Dunn - Grandad

141. The New Seekers - I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)

140. Donny Osmond - Puppy Love

139. Pussycat - Mississippi. Not the Bob Dylan song.

138. Alvin Stardust - Jealous Mind

137. Brotherhood of Man - Angelo

136. Matthews Southern Comfort - Woodstock. There's no version of this song I like, tbh. I find it to be a bullshit song, one of my least favourite Joni Mitchell songs.

135. Slade - Skweeze Me, Pleeze Me. This one's quite low, but in general, Slade will do well here.

134. Rod Stewart - Sailing. Perfectly nice, really, but Rod ruined himself.

133. Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the Sky

132. David Cassidy - Daydreamer / The Puppy Song

131. Tony Orlando and Dawn - Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree

130. The Jacksons - Show You the Way to Go. Of all the Jackson 5 songs to get to Number 1, this one's pretty mediocre.

129. Mud - Oh Boy

128. Paper Lace  - Billy Don't Be a Hero

127. Charles Aznavour - She

126. Dana - All Kinds of Everything

125. Deniece Williams - Free

124. Chicory Tip  - Son of My Father

123. Mud - Tiger Feet. Son of My Father and Tiger Feet are the most 70s songs that exist.

122. David Cassidy - How Can I Be Sure

121. Alice Cooper - School's Out. A bit like Another Brick in the Wall, I just kind of hate this. It's just always been around, and it was meant to be fun, but was just not that fun ...

120. Dave Edmunds - I Hear You Knocking

119. 10cc - Dreadlock Holiday

118. David Soul - Don't Give Up on Us

117. John Denver - Annie's Song

116. Lee Marvin - Wand'rin' Star

115. Slik - Forever and Ever. I had rarely listened to this before, and really it's pretty similar to Vienna, isn't it ...

114. Christie  - Yellow River

113. Baccara  - Yes Sir, I Can Boogie

112. Elvis Presley - Way Down

111. Mungo Jerry - Baby Jump

110. The Wurzels - Combine Harvester

109. The Tams - Hey Girl Don't Bother Me

108. Demis Roussos - The Roussos Phenomenon (EP). That is such a fabulous name for an EP it should really be higher.

107. Dr. Hook - When You're in Love with a Beautiful Woman. Not an actual doctor.

106. Pilot - January. Not an actual pilot.

105. Mud - Lonely This Christmas. Actual mud.

104. Brotherhood of Man - Figaro

103. Slade - Take Me Bak 'Ome

102. Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun

101. 10cc - Rubber Bullets

100. The Osmonds - Love Me for a Reason

99. Peters and Lee - Welcome Home

98. Donny Osmond - Young Love

97. T. Rex - Telegram Sam

96. Tony Orlando & Dawn  - Knock Three Times. One comma would make it a much better band name.

95. Rod Stewart - Reason to Believe / Maggie May

94. Tina Charles - I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)

93. Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes). A very 60s song to be a 70s Number 1.

92. The Police  - Walking on the Moon

91. Boney M. - Mary's Boy Child – Oh My Lord

90. Wings - Mull of Kintyre / Girls' School

89. The Tymes  - Ms Grace

88. Leo Sayer - When I Need You. Sincerely, L Cohen...

87. Julie Covington - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

86. Bay City Rollers - Give a Little Love

85, Johnny Nash - Tears on My Pillow

84. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Clair. A song that is innocent and sweet, yet would absolutely not pass these days.

83. Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive

82. Hot Chocolate So You Win Again

81. Anita Ward - Ring My Bell

80. The New Seekers - You Won't Find Another Fool Like Me

79. ABBA - Fernando

78. Johnny Mathis - When a Child Is Born (Soleado)

77. Tammy Wynette - Stand by Your Man. The Candi Staton version of this is so outstanding that I've never really listened to this version the same way again. 

76. Rod Stewart - You Wear It Well

75. Wizzard  - Angel Fingers

74. Dave and Ansell Collins - Double Barrel. Don't go thinking it's Dave Collins, though ...

73. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - Summer Nights

72. ABBA - The Name of the Game

71. Elton John and Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

70. Art Garfunkel - I Only Have Eyes for You. One of three Garfunkel-sung Number 1s of the decade. This is a great song, but The Flamingos version is definitive.

69. T. Rex - Hot Love

68. The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

67. Slade - Mama Weer All Crazee Now. Definitely one of my main takeaways from this is that the Slade Number 1s are great - elementally powerful and catchy. I guess they were just too committed to the fun of it, like Madness, to get the respect they deserved.

66. Elvis Presley - The Wonder of You

65. Bay City Rollers - Bye Bye Baby

64. Mungo Jerry - In the Summertime. Ruination by association with drink-driving aside, a classic tune.

63. Boney M. - Rivers of Babylon / Brown Girl in the Ring

62. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Get Down

61. Brian and Michael - Matchstalk Men & Matchstalk Cats & Dogs

60. ABBA - Waterloo

59. George McCrae - Rock Your Baby

58. David Soul - Silver Lady. I must say, I had not previously appreciated what an absolute banger this is. While it only occupies the respectable but modest position of 58, this is the song I have been listening to and humming for the last few days.

57. Barry White - You're the First, the Last, My Everything

56. ABBA - Knowing Me, Knowing You. By Glenn Ponder and Savoir Faire.

55. Slade - Coz I Luv You. Pure class.

54. The Sweet - Blockbuster!

53. Suzi Quatro - Can the Can

52. 10cc - I'm Not in Love

51. Wizzard - See My Baby Jive. Another banger! I once got served at a bar ahead of Roy Wood, somewhat to his chagrin. Fair enough, for tunes like this, he deserved bar privileges ...

50. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - You're the One That I Want. The Number 1 that I wanted to be Number 1 on the day I was born.

49. Rod Stewart - I Don't Want to Talk About It / The First Cut Is the Deepest. You might say this is my Rod Stewart acid test, as these are two beautiful songs, and Rod's versions are the definitive versions, but still i can put this no higher than 49. First Cut is the Deepest written by the Cat Stevens, while I've just found out that I Don't Want to Talk About it was actually written by Danny Whitten, Neil Young's guitarist about whom he wrote Needle and the Damage Done.

48. ABBA - Take a Chance on Me

47. Sweet Sensation - Sad Sweet Dreamer. Beauty - great chorus.

46. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody. A little number you might have heard of called ...

45. David Essex - Hold Me Close. Like Richard Gere and Adam Ant at the start of the 1980s, David Essex in the 70s was ... a handsome man.

44. Village People - Y.M.C.A.

43. The Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap. This gets called the first punk/new wave Number 1, doesn't it, but it's really not that at all is it, it's pure Springsteen ...

42. The Police  - Message in a Bottle

41. Gary Numan  - Cars

40. Bee Gees - Tragedy

39. Ken Boothe - Everything I Own

38. The Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

37. T. Rex - Get It On. Nick Cave made the case for the genius of Marc Bolan on his Desert Island Discs and I get it now more than I ever have, but still not totally.

36. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Voodoo Child (Slight Return). Famously, a mash-up of songs by Rogue Traders and the Bluetones.

35. Cliff Richard - We Don't Talk Anymore. There are quite a few good Cliff Richard songs, really. Many many terrible ones, but quite a few good ones.

34. The Stylistics - Can't Give You Anything (But My Love). Another absolute beauty. I feel like "sounding like the Stylistics" could really take a group to the highest heights even in this day and age.

33. Donna Summer - I Feel Love

32. The Four Seasons - December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night). It's funny, isn't it, that it's December 1963 and yet ... no mention of the assassination of John F Kennedy!! Like, what? Something suspicious going on there ...

31. ABBA - Mamma Mia

30. Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting. Some have cast doubt upon it, but it is true, you know, absolutely everyone was ... everyone.

29. Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody. It managed to be the biggest Christmas song for a long time. Yes, it's incredibly annoying, but fair play.

28. George Harrison  - My Sweet Lord. Funny that this was the only Beatle-people Number 1 of the whole 1970s. When Harrison died, it was played a lot and got back to Number 1 and I definitely thought ... that's a great-sounding record ... which it is ... equally, here, on my little-read blog, I give my two SHOCK Beatle opinions 1)! George was not that nice. Like really. He had lots of bad opinions and was very petty 2)! Yoko did break up the Beatles! I mean, of course! I wish her all happiness, but, honestly, the people that watched Get Back and were like ... well, that puts to bed the misogynistic racist myth that Yoko Ono had anything to do with the Beatles breaking up ... what the jeeping fuck delusional nonsense were you watching? It's right there! Of course she did ... So there ... heady stuff ...

27. Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

26. The Real Thing - You to Me Are Everything

25. David Bowie - Space Oddity

24. David Essex - Gonna Make You a Star. Aah, David Jones and David Cook, both born in the suburbs in 1947. I've only played cricket against one of them. I only just twigged that Rock On is directly referenced on Drive by REM.. I had never put that 2 and 2 together before ... anyway, David Essex is a great British public figure, who veers between A-list and D-List, as all the very best do ... no one has ever more embodied the term "twinkle in his eye" ...

23. Diana Ross - I'm Still Waiting. What a run of songs this is!

22. Bee Gees - Night Fever

21. Chicago - If You Leave Me Now

20. Commodores - Three Times a Lady. You could just play this stuff on Oldies radio for ever ...

19. Art Garfunkel - Bright Eyes. It would be remiss of me not to admit that for a large chunk of my childhood, I felt that nothing on earth could be more beautiful than Bright Eyes. Nothing. And it still holds up pretty well. I think it is perhaps still somewhat underplayed just how many people in Britain between 45 and 55 learnt everything they know about death from Watership Down.

18. Don McLean - Vincent. And everything they know about art from this motherfucker. I've seen that goddamn Starry Night. That's a hell of a painting.

17. Slade - Cum On Feel the Noize

16. Simon Park Orchestra - Eye Level. I played this song, all the way through, at about 200 quizzes. If ever I was doing a round called the Follow On round, I'd set this as the background music, and get through the song as I asked the questions, and you could guarantee, every now and then, some misty-eyed 50-year old would come up to me and beam "Van der Valk!"

15. Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me). A real masterpiece single, this, I think. Again, when I remember, when i was a young teenager, the songs I'd heard which I really wanted to own, but didn't have the means to own yet, this was high on the list.

14. The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays

13. Tubeway Army - Are 'Friends' Electric?. The single quotes are such a work of genius.

12. Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - The Tears of a Clown. Everything about how Tears of a Clown came to be and came to be a UK Number 1 is so full of the mythology of pop music. But, anyway, good tune!

11. Freda Payne - Band of Gold. As is the case with this, in a way. Sneaky bit of Holland-Dozier-Holland.

10. Nilsson - Without You. Mad, as well, that  Paul McCartney wrote Come & Get It for Badfinger as if they couldn't write their own songs, and they wrote this. McCartney called this "the killer song of all time".

9. The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star

8. Blondie - Sunday Girl. Sunday Girl has always been my personal favourite Blondie song, but I'm doing the decent thing, and putting another Blondie song above it for this list.

7. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

6. T. Rex - Metal Guru

5. Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick. I was watching a bit of early 80s Ian Dury and the Blockheads live footage last weekend, and it was the time Wilko Johnson was in the band , and, gee whizz, i thought, those are two extremely brilliant men one would not like to cross on a dark night ...

4. Althea & Donna - Uptown Top Ranking. An' ting

3. Blondie - Heart of Glass. So, yes, though Sunday Girl has always been my pet favourite, Heart of Glass is Blondie's masterwork, one of those perfect records where everyone got everything right.

2. Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge over Troubled Water. Something so great about how honest S and G have been about their complicated relationship, and how that gives you a different appreciation of their greatest works. Art doing this at the 1981 Central Park concert, Paul ceding the stage entirely, Art absolutely nailing it, giving himself a little pocket-level first pump when he finished, that is an incredibly beautiful thing ...

1. ABBA    Dancing Queen. Even when I had no time for the rest of ABBA, I always knew Dancing Queen was perfect. Just is.

Right, that turned out really enjoyable. I should do the 2010s next, but that's a whole different level of somewhat complex, unpleasant task, so, if i get round to that, it will be in a while, as there's not many Number 1s I truly love from that decade, and a lot I don't really know. So, if anything, it'll be the 1960s next, which is surely the decade with the closest connection between "popular" and "acclaimed" ...

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 2000s - ranked

Here we go again ... well, I thought these would be less good than the 80s but better than the 90s, but I'm not sure they are, in toto, better than the 90s (to be clear, here I am doing the decade from 2000 to 2009).

There are some fantastic ones at the top, but not that much variety. Most of the best ones are finely honed pop/r'n'b. There aren't that many really weird great songs. America and/or the American sound is pretty dominant. Even though there was a lot of successful "landfill indie" (a lot of of which was pretty good) in this decade, not that much of it made it to the top spot, so there are just not that many songs that in any way resemble rock music. 

And there is a lot of purest shite at the bottom - reality TV dross and horrible songs by creepy men. Also, there are a lot more songs here, compared to the 80s and 90s (where i only really needed to seek out about 10 songs each time), that I didn't really know - I could have just about sung the chorus, but not much more.

Anyway, like I say, there are still some fabulous pop songs at the top, and plenty of good ones up to around the midway point.

Ignition by R Kelly is a bit of a problem - it's a great, not especially creepy, song I used to like, but anyway, I'll just absent-mindedly leave it out, because i can't be bothered about my position on the art vs the artist on that one.

At the bottom, we have ...

273. Busted - Who's David?  - I'm David, you infantile shitheads! No, in all seriousness, though I took against Busted pretty instantly, I'd not realised how rank and misogynistic this song was. Like, the ultimate frightening woman-hating teenage boy song. Really awful ....

272. The X Factor Finalists 2009 - You Are Not Alone. A fateful meeting of all the worst things in the history of everything.

271. 3 of a Kind - Baby Cakes. Heady days when we first got Freeview and watched pop video channels, and there were lots of good pop songs/videos in 2004/2005, and then along came this, and it was on all the time, and it was so bad, so I kind of blame this song for driving me in into the embrace of Sky Sports News.

270. Kid Rock - All Summer Long

269. Limp Bizkit - Rollin'. So bad, so much of the worst music ever made by anyone ever. Not getting overserious, but I feel a lot of this music lays bare and foreshadows everything that's gone this century.

268. The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge and Avery Storm - Nasty Girl

267. Akon - Lonely. This is bad. Akon was bad.

266. Akon featuring Eminem - Smack That. This is probably worse.

265. Bob the Builder - Mambo No. 5

264. Madonna - American Pie. Madonna had a run of really really bad singles at the start of this century. Thankfully that run ended, as we will come to later.

263. Busted - You Said No. More Busted incel dross.

262. Bob the Builder - Can We Fix It? 

261. David Guetta featuring Akon - Sexy Chick. Akon's Greatest Number 1!

260. Ja Rule featuring R. Kelly and Ashanti - Wonderful

259. The X Factor Finalists 2008 - Hero

258. Gareth Gates featuring The Kumars  - Spirit in the Sky

257. Atomic Kitten - The Tide Is High (Get the Feeling)

256. Gareth Gates - Unchained Melody

255. Geri Halliwell - It's Raining Men. That joke wasn't funny anymore.

254. Mariah Carey featuring Westlife - Against All Odds

253. Leon Jackson - When You Believe

252. McFly - Don't Stop Me Now / Please, Please

251. Five and Queen - We Will Rock You

250. Westlife  - Uptown Girl. There are a lot a lot of Westlife Number 1s in the 2000s, and inevitably some of them must be less awful than others. But this is solidly awful.

249. Mario Winans featuring Enya and P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know. This is not even that bad, then along comes Diddy ...

248. Peter Kay's Animated All Star Band  - The Official BBC Children in Need Medley

247. Crazy Frog  - Axel F

246. Westlife - I Have a Dream / Seasons in the Sun

245. Steps - Stomp. Steps were never not shite. I don't accept any retrospective fondness towards Steps.

244. Will Young and Gareth Gates - The Long and Winding Road / Suspicious Minds. As we will get to, Will Young was capable of greatness, and there's nothing too wrong with this, but neither are singing songs they're really suited to.

243. DJ Ötzi - Hey Baby. I played this a lot at quizzes. People liked it. I hate people.

242. Westlife - Unbreakable

241. Peter Andre featuring Bubbler Ranx - Mysterious Girl

240. Spice Girls - Holler / Let Love Lead the Way. This was the Spice Girls' late-career attempt to do serious, grown-up r'n'b and it was not good.

239. Michelle  - All This Time

238. Will Young - Anything Is Possible / Evergreen 

237. Atomic Kitten - Eternal Flame

236. The Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway. I won't, thanks.

235. Busted - Thunderbirds / 3AM. Not eternal.

234. Chico - It's Chico Time. That is, indeed, in every possible way, the time it was.

233. Elvis Presley - One Night / I Got Stung

232. Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman - Somethin' Stupid

231. A1 - Take on Me

230. Elvis Presley - It's Now or Never

229. Steve Brookstein  - Against All Odds. Now this is funny. And in some ways I ought to put this higher. The fact that the first series of the show that defined British pop music and TV for a decade was won by a nondescript middle-age pub singer, who clearly no one on the show really liked, and who turned out to be a crank, and it wasn't some kind of joke or stunt, it wasn't like  Boaty McBoatface, he was just the guy the British public voted for in huge numbers. 

228. Blue featuring Elton John  - Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

227. The Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes - Don't Cha. This is quite a good, but pernicious, song.

226. Sandi Thom -  I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in My Hair). This might have been laudable and heartwarming, but it was a real set-your-teeth-on-edge bad song.

225. Shaggy featuring Rayvon  - Angel. Shaggy had three great, funny, memorable Number 1s, but this was not one of them.

224. A1 - Same Old Brand New You

223. Madonna - Music. As I say, I found Madonna's run of singles from 2000 to 2003 to be absolutely wretched.

222. Shayne Ward - That's My Goal

221. Atomic Kitten - Whole Again. I truly did not understand how or why this song was massively successful. There were a couple of quite fun Atomic Kitten singles, but this I did not get.

220. Enrique Iglesias - Hero

219. Melanie C  - I Turn to You

218. DJ Sammy and Yanou featuring Do - Heaven

217. Vanessa Jenkins and Bryn West featuring Tom Jones and Robin Gibb - (Barry) Islands in the Stream

216. Robbie Williams - Radio

215. Hear'Say - The Way to Your Love. Their second (of two) Number 1s, a pleasant enough song.

214. Westlife  - Queen of My Heart

213. S Club 7  Have You Ever. I guess Hear'Say were built on the S Club, Steps model which seemed very successful at the turn of the century, but I'm not sure there's been a successful pop band like that since.

212. McFly  - Star Girl

211. Westlife - The Rose

210. Madison Avenue - Don't Call Me Baby

209. Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

208. Jennifer Lopez - Love Don't Cost a Thing. The curious case of Jennifer Lopez the second-rate pop star.

207. S Club 7  - Never Had a Dream Come True

206. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ. The Barry White sample is great. This is probably actually a great pop song, but it was just peak Williamsy Williams.

205. Billie Piper - Day & Night

204. Take That - Greatest Day. Although, chronologically, they did have a couple more good singles in them, I kind of feel this was the end of the feelgood Take That revival. Running from Back for Good, through Never Forget, Patience, Shine and Rule the World, they really seemed like they'd nailed doing actual top-class MOR, whereas this song was so forced, such an obvious failed attempt at something anthemic. But it's just got no tune, and it's so bland.

203. Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart

202. Sam & Mark - With a Little Help from My Friends. Aah they were pretty fun, Sam and Mark. No Ant and Dec, but no Dick and Dom.

201. Tinchy Stryder featuring Amelle Berrabah - Never Leave You

200. Roger Sanchez Another Chance

199. Eric Prydz  - Call on Me

198. David Sneddon - Stop Living the Lie. Fame Academy was a weird show, weirdly executed ...

197. LMC vs. U2  - Take Me to the Clouds Above

196. Westlife - Mandy. Maybe this should be higher. Mandy is the ultimate acceptably cheesy song, and actually Westlife can't really harm it.

195. Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake - Give It to Me

194. Blue - Too Close

193. The Pussycat Dolls - Stickwitu

192. Eminem - Just Lose It. Eminem just lost it.

191. Frankee  - F.U.R.B. (Fuck You Right Back). It was just quite poorly carried out.

190. Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson  - The Way I Are

189. Mint Royale - Singin' in the Rain

188. U2 - Vertigo. To  me, a bit like J-Lo, latterday U2 always felt like they were chasing someone's else's sound. Having said that, I think Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of, which reached Number 2, is their loveliest song, and if that was in the list, it would be Top 10.

187. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide

186. Melanie C featuring Lisa Left Eye Lopes - Never Be the Same Again

185. Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne - Changes. Baffling but not listenable.

184. Dizzee Rascal featuring Calvin Harris and Chrome - Dance wiv Me

183. Britney Spears - Born to Make You Happy

182. Chipmunk  - Oopsy Daisy

181. Basshunter featuring DJ Mental Theo's Bazzheadz  - Now You're Gone. Originally known as Tunahunter.

180. McFly  - Baby's Coming Back / Transylvania.

179. Cheryl Cole  - Fight for This Love

178. 2Pac featuring Elton John - Ghetto Gospel

177. Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

176. Lily Allen - Smile. Ok, i feel like we're out of hell now. The songs now are not all horrendous.

175. Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink - Lady Marmalade

174. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls

173. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack

172. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair

171. Holly Valance - Kiss Kiss. Actually a pretty great single, but Holly Valance has become more awful than could have been imagined, so hard to feel anything positive here.

170. Alexandra Burke  - Hallelujah. Carried the Buckley version all the way to Number 2...

169. Oxide & Neutrino  - Bound 4 da Reload (Casualty)

168. Westlife - My Love

167. Destiny's Child - Survivor. This was only a few months after Independent Women, and is a pretty similar song, but somehow pressed all the wrong buttons for me.

166. Elvis vs. JXL  - A Little Less Conversation

165. Blazin' Squad - Crossroads

164. Busted - Crashed the Wedding

163. Usher - Burn

162. Fatman Scoop featuring the Crooklyn Clan - Be Faithful. Very shouty.

161. Tomcraft  - Loneliness

160. Katie Melua and Eva Cassidy - What a Wonderful World. The new wave of boredom.

159. Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers

158. Brian McFadden - Real to Me

157. Sugababes vs. Girls Aloud - Walk This Way. I mean, fine, you have to do this kind of stuff, it's more fun than most charity records ...

156. Meck featuring Leo Sayer - Thunder in My Heart Again. You have your one Number 1 single and you deeply regret that you have taken the stage name Meck.

155. Dizzee Rascal featuring Chrome - Holiday

154. Pixie Lott - Boys and Girls. Looking for ...

153. Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This. But what if we can't ...

152. Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock. Well, Jailhouse Rock is a good song.

151. Chicane featuring Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up

150. Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It's Christmas? This is as early 2000s as the original is 80s. The Dizzee Rascal rap ... amazing ...

149. Westlife - Fool Again

148. Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone

147. Rui da Silva featuring Cassandra - Touch Me. Unbelievable ...

146. James Blunt - You're Beautiful

145. Girls Aloud - I'll Stand by You. Nice song, great band, not great.

144. Britney Spears - Everytime

143. Blue - If You Come Back. Blue were, I think, the most coherent of the boy bands - their records often sounded good while being silly in a memorable way, which is all you can ask for in the genre. But they didn't have a great Number 1. But if you take the first letters of their names, it makes LADS, which is really something

142. Afroman - Because I Got High

141. Leona Lewis - A Moment Like This

140. The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is the Love?

139. Christina Aguilera featuring Redman - Dirrty

138. U2 - Beautiful Day

137. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl

136. Tinchy Stryder featuring N-Dubz  - Number 1. More a Number 2 really, Haha

135. Flo Rida featuring Kesha - Right Round

134. JLS - Everybody in Love

133. U2 - Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own

132. Kylie Minogue - Slow

131. Gareth Gates - Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)

130. Liberty X  - Just a Little

129. Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down. This was their second of only two Number 1s, and not all that good. Presumably, after this band, the band faded away to nothing.

128. Eminem - Without Me. Like Oasis, Eminem kept on having Number 1 singles long after he stopped being at all good.

127. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

126. Lady Gaga featuring Colby O'Donis - Just Dance

125. JLS - Beat Again

124. Sugababes  - About You Now

123. Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar

122. Westlife - You Raise Me Up. Well, you know, it's the tune to Danny Boy. It can't be all bad.

121. Will Young - Light My Fire

120. The Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow

119. Westlife - World of Our Own

118. Orson - No Tomorrow. The Toto of their day.

117. Craig David - Fill Me In

116. McFly - I'll Be OK

115. Nelly featuring Tim McGraw - Over and Over

114. Five - Let's Dance. Not that one, but quite good, actually.

113. Jennifer Lopez - Get Right. Lopez's fairly successful attempt to get some of the Rich Harrison Crazy in Love/1 Thing magic. But nowhere near as good, because she's not good at this.

112. Elton John - Are You Ready for Love. He's good at this, so he could still have a Number 1 with a minor song 20 years after it was released.

111. LeAnn Rimes - Can't Fight the Moonlight

110. Room 5 featuring Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv

109. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words

108. The Proclaimers featuring Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)

107. Las Ketchup  - The Ketchup Song

106. Robbie Williams - Eternity / The Road to Mandalay. Acceptably unbad.

105. Ne-Yo - Closer.

104. Duffy - Mercy

103. Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z - Déjà Vu

102. Gnarls  Barkley -Crazy. Mixed feelings about Crazy, which was definitely one of the strongest, most memorable songs of the era. I guess I just got properly sick of it. Itself, and all the slowed down covers. And also, Cee-Lo Green turned out to be not great ...

101. The Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme

100. Modjo - Lady (Hear Me Tonight)

99. Sugababes - Freak Like Me

98. Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

97. Black Legend - You See the Trouble with Me

96. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

95. La Roux - Bulletproof

94. The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name. "you wannae dance ta thae ..."?

93. Aaliyah - More Than a Woman. Honestly, have never quite understood aaaaaalll the fuss about Aaliyah, sorry, sorry ...

92. Daniel Bedingfield - Never Gonna Leave Your Side. Whereas, big Danny B, there was never enough fuss ...

91. Ciara featuring Petey Pablo - Goodies. 

90. Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie. 

89. Beyoncé  - If I Were a Boy

88. Ne-Yo - So Sick

87. Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West  - Run This Town. The Rihanna bit's great and the Jay-Z bit's great, and then along comes shithead, and it's not just in hindsight, his bit is just rank. Was never not a prick.

86. Geri Halliwell - Bag It Up. The joke was still funny.

85. Sugababes  - Hole in the Head

84. Darius - Colourblind. The people's Darius.

83.The Corrs - Breathless

82. DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies - Do You Really Like It?

81. Britney Spears - Oops!... I Did It Again

80. Fragma - Toca's Miracle

79. Gabrielle - Rise. The second Knockin' on Heaven's Door-based Number 1 in 5 years, weirdly.

78. Pixie Lott - Mama Do (Uh Oh, Uh Oh)

77. Lily Allen - The Fear. I was by no means a Lily Allen fan, but i think this song had a real melancholy to it.

76. Leona Lewis - Run

75. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire. Really silly, but still quite good

74. Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle.

73. Tony Christie featuring Peter Kay - (Is This the Way to) Amarillo

72. McFly - All About You / You've Got a Friend

71. Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World

70.Pink - Just like a Pill

69. Oasis - The Hindu Times. The weird truth is that the four Oasis Number 1s of the 2000s are actually better, on average, than the four Oasis Number 1s of the 1990s. Their Number 1s later on were solid content, whereas two of their 90s Number 1s were the absolute worst. This is not brilliant, but as good as they were going to be at that point.

68. George Harrison - My Sweet Lord

67. Hear'Say - Pure and Simple

66. Craig David - 7 Days

65.Madonna - Sorry

64. Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes

63. Rihanna - Take a Bow. Two Madonna songs, and then confusingly, not a Madonna song.

62. S Club 7  - Don't Stop Movin'

61. The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

60. Alexandra Burke featuring Flo Rida - Bad Boys

59. Kanye West - Stronger. Fair enough, this one.

58. My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade

57. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back). You know, one ought to hate this, but it was pretty well executed.

56. Take That - Shine. Little Mark Owen and his hopeless voice, but a nice song

55. Usher featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris - Yeah!

54. Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

53. Sugababes - Round Round

52. Mika - Grace Kelly

51. So Solid Crew - 21 Seconds. Ashley Walters is a great actor. Well, anyway, this song had its moment.

50. Nizlopi - JCB Song. Rather like the Eamon song, one ought to hate this, and it certainly incurred its share of mockery at the time, but, you know, good on them. It's sweet. It is. And i hope they were made for life.

49. Nelly - My Place / Flap Your Wings

48. Kylie Minogue - Spinning Around

47. Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

46. Coldplay - Viva la Vida. I think, in being perpetually disappointed for many years by Coldplay, I misunderstood Coldplay. They're a singles pop band, not an albums rock band. and if you pick out 10 to 12 singles from their career, they're a really good singles band. So fair enough.

45.Cascada  - Evacuate the Dancefloor

44. Razorlight  - America. Chronologically, this played a trick on me, as I could have sworn it was part of the phase when Razorlight were still considered good (by me and others), but it was after In the Morning and Somewhere Else, which were successful but very flabby singles. Razorlight fell faster and harder than most, and have never been able to regenerate any interest, despite the fact they had two genuinely massive albums. Some people did hate this song, but I thought it was fine.

43. Gorillaz - Dare. Not the best Gorillaz song, but nice that they had a Number 1, in the same month as ...

42. Oasis - Lyla ... this extremely derivative Oasis song which was pretty good.

41. McFly - Obviously

40. Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not the One

39. Nelly Furtado - Maneater

38. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

37. Oasis - Go Let It Out. The space between Oasis releasing the single Go Let it Out and the album Standing on the Shoulder of Giants was the space where Oasis might still have turned out to be a band with something about them. This song was not a masterpiece, but it sounded like a band that listened to new things and wanted to change ... the album was, apart from this and instrumental opener Fucking in the Bushes, dreadful, though.

36. Ronan Keating - Life Is a Rollercoaster. Gregg Alexander.

35. Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland - Dilemma

34. Manic Street Preachers  - The Masses Against the Classes. Although it was fun that the Manics gamed the system to have one of the first Number 1s of the decade, this was not a very good song, and actually is particularly bittersweet because it marks the end of their strongest commercial era. They really lost the knack for quite a few years after this.

33. Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby. Funny, I notice, that I'm really grouping the decent indie-rock songs around this point. I can't bring myself to put them right at the top, but I'm still enough of an indie kid to loyally put them Top 50ish. Anyway, the Kaiser Chiefs, who could really entertain. They have actually done eight albums, all of which have gone Top 10. Ricky Wilson was always pretty committed to trying to be famous, I think.

32. Estelle featuring Kanye West - American Boy. I would say, pretty much, the only genuinely charming song with Kanye West on it.

31. Stereophonics - Dakota. See above point. Most of the Stereophonics songs after their first album were not at all good to listen to, but this, I think, was and still is a very good song.

30. Blu Cantrell featuring Sean Paul - Breathe

29. David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over. Kelly's actually involved with several really good Number 1s. Especially as it was shown in later footage that she was the X Factor judge purely responsible for forming Little Mix.

28. Lady Gaga - Poker Face

27. All Saints  - Black Coffee. Here's a funny thing - we had Black Coffee as a clue on OC a few years' back and loads, i mean, loads of people on twitter commented "that's Pure Shores, you've got the wrong song". But it was the right song. So, you could say the songs sound alike, but it's not just that. It's like people have forgotten Black Coffee exists - that they had two really great Number 1s in quick succession ...

26. Dizzee Rascal featuring Armand Van Helden - Bonkers. A banger.

25. Girls Aloud - Sound of the Underground

24. Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor. If you were to study the charts in the traditional way, you'd say the Arctic Monkeys' debut single was their biggest hit, they had one more Number 1 and then no more massive hits. But that is very much not the case. 'Dancefloor' is only their 9th most streamed song on Spotify. They are INCREDIBLY successful, wildly. Maybe the biggest rock band in the world. They've six songs with over a billion spotify streams, none from their debut album. Their most successful song is based on a John Cooper Clarke poem. Following on from that, in general, as you can see, there are not that many indie and rock, or landfill indie, Number 1s in the 2000s. None for The Strokes, or Franz Ferdinand, or The Libertines, The White Stripes, or whoever else ... but, interestingly, a lot of this music has stood the test of time - commercially, I mean -  pretty well. The Kooks, Keane, The Killers, even a band like The Wombats ... they do really good numbers ...

23. t.A.T.u. - All the Things She Said

22. Sonique  - It Feels So Good

21. Lady Gaga  - Bad Romance

20. Pink - So What

19. Madonna - Hung Up. For a variety of reasons - bad acting, her run of dodgy singles, the influence of intellectualized misogyny etc - I'd spent the mid-90s to the mid-2000s thinking Madonna was basically not good. Hung Up was a great single, though, and so I stopped being an idiot.

18. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head. Perhaps Can't Get You Out of My Head was a little overhyped - didn't Paul Morley write a book about it or something? - and I can't say I would ever actually choose to put it on to get whatever kicks I get from the popular song, but, you know, it's a nice little number.

17. Spiller ft Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet (If This Ain't Love). The first song played on an ipod, fact fans.

16. Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long?. Actually my favourite Spice Girls-related song by some distance. Just a nice song.

15. Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name. Not only is this, obviously, a banger, but it really did signal the start of the end of the X-Factor era ... I mean, the early start, of course ... there was still One Direction and Little Mix to come.

14. Eminem - Stan. At this point, it's important to remember, Eminem was really considered capable of being very very good.

13. All Saints - Pure Shores. Not Black Coffee.

12. Shaggy featuring RikRok - It Wasn't Me

11. Britney Spears - Toxic

10. Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

9. Sugababes - Push the Button.  

8. Take That - Patience. Very knitwear.

7. Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z - Crazy in Love

6. Will Young - Leave Right Now. I've thought fairly hard about the order of the Top 10, for what it's worth. Nevertheless, putting Leave Right Now above Crazy in Love is a bold call. But i'm sticking with it.

5. Eminem - Lose Yourself

4. Girls Aloud - The Promise

3. Destiny's Child - Independent Women Part I. I bought cassette singles of this and Stan on the same day - I think from Woolworths in St Andrews - and for me, that was a significant thing to do. 

2. Rihanna featuring Jay-Z  - Umbrella.

1. Robyn with Kleerup - With Every Heartbeat. Umbrella was a more obvious choice, but I just love the "and-it-hurts-with-every-heartbeat" bit so much. I first encountered this when I joined a gym in South London, and I saw the video up on the wall without ever listening to the song, Robyn marching with serious sad intent towards the camera. I can't even remember when I first paid attention to the song itself, but, as much as there is a lot of very bad pop music this century, Robyn has led the way in there also being a lot of very good pop music, so yay.

I will do the 1970s next, which will be fun, but I am already casting my eyes at the 2010s with dread ... there are some great songs, but a lot I do really hate (here comes Drake ...) and more than ever I hardly know, so I'm not entirely sure if I'll get to it any time soon ...