All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1970s - ranked

In the 1970s, I was mainly not alive, but am still fairly well acquainted with the Number 1s of the decade, through the wonders of modern technology. If I'd hoped to escape the spectre of wrong'uns having hits, seeing Two Little Boys as the first Number 1 of this decade didn't help. There are a few others of a similar ilk. None of them are good, so they will be the unmentioned worst.

Apart from that, it's mainly a good bunch, though the shift, around midway the ranking, from "that's a bit of a classic" to "ugh, I hate that" is more rapid and pronounced than in the previous decades I've written about.

The good things about the 1970s are that a) there are fewer Number 1s than in later decades b) there aren't charity records c) there aren't really talents show Number 1s.

The Number 1s in the year 1979 are really outstandingly good - maybe the best year ever for Number 1s (though I've yet to look closely at the 60s).

So, not counting the misdeeds of the worst of men, the worst Number 1 of the 70s was ...

165. J.J. Barrie - No Charge. I'd not heard this before. It is a horrendously anodyne piece of spoken word americana. I kept thinking there'd be a "and then she killed him" punchline at the end to make it worthwhile. Christ knows who bought this.

164. Little Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Lover from Liverpool. Just an awful thing to have to listen to.

163. Rod Stewart - Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? I don't think it would have mattered what Rod Stewart did once I'd heard this. Haunted by it.

162. Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall (Part II). Heard this so much growing up. Don't actually mind Pink Floyd in general, but hate this.

161. Telly Savalas - If. Further creepy spoken-word Americana without an obvious wink. How did Telly's image survive this?

160. Lieutenant Pigeon - Mouldy Old Dough

159. Typically Tropical - Barbados. Just a leeetle bit racist.

158. Windsor Davies and Don Estelle - Whispering Grass. Weird decade, this.

157. Chuck Berry - My Ding-a-Ling. Thing is, Chuck Berry doing a creepy song like this in the era when he was a creepy guy is just not cool. Johnny B Goode this is not.

156. The Manhattan Transfer  - Chanson D'Amour

155. Middle of the Road  - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

154. England World Cup Squad - Back Home

153. Ray Stevens - The Streak. God, so much weird spoken word Americana. This one tries to be funny, at least.

152. Kenny Rogers - Lucille. The kind of country music I hate.

151. Brotherhood of Man - Save Your Kisses for Me

150. Showaddywaddy  - Under the Moon of Love

149. Donny Osmond - The Twelfth of Never

148. The Floaters - Float On. Weirdly unpleasant. Definitely not a patch on the Modest Mouse song of the same name.

147. Billy Connolly - D.I.V.O.R.C.E. The comedians.

146. Benny Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West). The comedians.

145. Status Quo  - Down Down

144. Lena Martell - One Day at a Time

143. Royal Scots Dragoon Guards - Amazing Grace

142. Clive Dunn - Grandad

141. The New Seekers - I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)

140. Donny Osmond - Puppy Love

139. Pussycat - Mississippi. Not the Bob Dylan song.

138. Alvin Stardust - Jealous Mind

137. Brotherhood of Man - Angelo

136. Matthews Southern Comfort - Woodstock. There's no version of this song I like, tbh. I find it to be a bullshit song, one of my least favourite Joni Mitchell songs.

135. Slade - Skweeze Me, Pleeze Me. This one's quite low, but in general, Slade will do well here.

134. Rod Stewart - Sailing. Perfectly nice, really, but Rod ruined himself.

133. Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the Sky

132. David Cassidy - Daydreamer / The Puppy Song

131. Tony Orlando and Dawn - Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree

130. The Jacksons - Show You the Way to Go. Of all the Jackson 5 songs to get to Number 1, this one's pretty mediocre.

129. Mud - Oh Boy

128. Paper Lace  - Billy Don't Be a Hero

127. Charles Aznavour - She

126. Dana - All Kinds of Everything

125. Deniece Williams - Free

124. Chicory Tip  - Son of My Father

123. Mud - Tiger Feet. Son of My Father and Tiger Feet are the most 70s songs that exist.

122. David Cassidy - How Can I Be Sure

121. Alice Cooper - School's Out. A bit like Another Brick in the Wall, I just kind of hate this. It's just always been around, and it was meant to be fun, but was just not that fun ...

120. Dave Edmunds - I Hear You Knocking

119. 10cc - Dreadlock Holiday

118. David Soul - Don't Give Up on Us

117. John Denver - Annie's Song

116. Lee Marvin - Wand'rin' Star

115. Slik - Forever and Ever. I had rarely listened to this before, and really it's pretty similar to Vienna, isn't it ...

114. Christie  - Yellow River

113. Baccara  - Yes Sir, I Can Boogie

112. Elvis Presley - Way Down

111. Mungo Jerry - Baby Jump

110. The Wurzels - Combine Harvester

109. The Tams - Hey Girl Don't Bother Me

108. Demis Roussos - The Roussos Phenomenon (EP). That is such a fabulous name for an EP it should really be higher.

107. Dr. Hook - When You're in Love with a Beautiful Woman. Not an actual doctor.

106. Pilot - January. Not an actual pilot.

105. Mud - Lonely This Christmas. Actual mud.

104. Brotherhood of Man - Figaro

103. Slade - Take Me Bak 'Ome

102. Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun

101. 10cc - Rubber Bullets

100. The Osmonds - Love Me for a Reason

99. Peters and Lee - Welcome Home

98. Donny Osmond - Young Love

97. T. Rex - Telegram Sam

96. Tony Orlando & Dawn  - Knock Three Times. One comma would make it a much better band name.

95. Rod Stewart - Reason to Believe / Maggie May

94. Tina Charles - I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)

93. Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes). A very 60s song to be a 70s Number 1.

92. The Police  - Walking on the Moon

91. Boney M. - Mary's Boy Child – Oh My Lord

90. Wings - Mull of Kintyre / Girls' School

89. The Tymes  - Ms Grace

88. Leo Sayer - When I Need You. Sincerely, L Cohen...

87. Julie Covington - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

86. Bay City Rollers - Give a Little Love

85, Johnny Nash - Tears on My Pillow

84. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Clair. A song that is innocent and sweet, yet would absolutely not pass these days.

83. Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive

82. Hot Chocolate So You Win Again

81. Anita Ward - Ring My Bell

80. The New Seekers - You Won't Find Another Fool Like Me

79. ABBA - Fernando

78. Johnny Mathis - When a Child Is Born (Soleado)

77. Tammy Wynette - Stand by Your Man. The Candi Staton version of this is so outstanding that I've never really listened to this version the same way again. 

76. Rod Stewart - You Wear It Well

75. Wizzard  - Angel Fingers

74. Dave and Ansell Collins - Double Barrel. Don't go thinking it's Dave Collins, though ...

73. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - Summer Nights

72. ABBA - The Name of the Game

71. Elton John and Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

70. Art Garfunkel - I Only Have Eyes for You. One of three Garfunkel-sung Number 1s of the decade. This is a great song, but The Flamingos version is definitive.

69. T. Rex - Hot Love

68. The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

67. Slade - Mama Weer All Crazee Now. Definitely one of my main takeaways from this is that the Slade Number 1s are great - elementally powerful and catchy. I guess they were just too committed to the fun of it, like Madness, to get the respect they deserved.

66. Elvis Presley - The Wonder of You

65. Bay City Rollers - Bye Bye Baby

64. Mungo Jerry - In the Summertime. Ruination by association with drink-driving aside, a classic tune.

63. Boney M. - Rivers of Babylon / Brown Girl in the Ring

62. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Get Down

61. Brian and Michael - Matchstalk Men & Matchstalk Cats & Dogs

60. ABBA - Waterloo

59. George McCrae - Rock Your Baby

58. David Soul - Silver Lady. I must say, I had not previously appreciated what an absolute banger this is. While it only occupies the respectable but modest position of 58, this is the song I have been listening to and humming for the last few days.

57. Barry White - You're the First, the Last, My Everything

56. ABBA - Knowing Me, Knowing You. By Glenn Ponder and Savoir Faire.

55. Slade - Coz I Luv You. Pure class.

54. The Sweet - Blockbuster!

53. Suzi Quatro - Can the Can

52. 10cc - I'm Not in Love

51. Wizzard - See My Baby Jive. Another banger! I once got served at a bar ahead of Roy Wood, somewhat to his chagrin. Fair enough, for tunes like this, he deserved bar privileges ...

50. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - You're the One That I Want. The Number 1 that I wanted to be Number 1 on the day I was born.

49. Rod Stewart - I Don't Want to Talk About It / The First Cut Is the Deepest. You might say this is my Rod Stewart acid test, as these are two beautiful songs, and Rod's versions are the definitive versions, but still i can put this no higher than 49. First Cut is the Deepest written by the Cat Stevens, while I've just found out that I Don't Want to Talk About it was actually written by Danny Whitten, Neil Young's guitarist about whom he wrote Needle and the Damage Done.

48. ABBA - Take a Chance on Me

47. Sweet Sensation - Sad Sweet Dreamer. Beauty - great chorus.

46. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody. A little number you might have heard of called ...

45. David Essex - Hold Me Close. Like Richard Gere and Adam Ant at the start of the 1980s, David Essex in the 70s was ... a handsome man.

44. Village People - Y.M.C.A.

43. The Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap. This gets called the first punk/new wave Number 1, doesn't it, but it's really not that at all is it, it's pure Springsteen ...

42. The Police  - Message in a Bottle

41. Gary Numan  - Cars

40. Bee Gees - Tragedy

39. Ken Boothe - Everything I Own

38. The Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

37. T. Rex - Get It On. Nick Cave made the case for the genius of Marc Bolan on his Desert Island Discs and I get it now more than I ever have, but still not totally.

36. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Voodoo Child (Slight Return). Famously, a mash-up of songs by Rogue Traders and the Bluetones.

35. Cliff Richard - We Don't Talk Anymore. There are quite a few good Cliff Richard songs, really. Many many terrible ones, but quite a few good ones.

34. The Stylistics - Can't Give You Anything (But My Love). Another absolute beauty. I feel like "sounding like the Stylistics" could really take a group to the highest heights even in this day and age.

33. Donna Summer - I Feel Love

32. The Four Seasons - December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night). It's funny, isn't it, that it's December 1963 and yet ... no mention of the assassination of John F Kennedy!! Like, what? Something suspicious going on there ...

31. ABBA - Mamma Mia

30. Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting. Some have cast doubt upon it, but it is true, you know, absolutely everyone was ... everyone.

29. Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody. It managed to be the biggest Christmas song for a long time. Yes, it's incredibly annoying, but fair play.

28. George Harrison  - My Sweet Lord. Funny that this was the only Beatle-people Number 1 of the whole 1970s. When Harrison died, it was played a lot and got back to Number 1 and I definitely thought ... that's a great-sounding record ... which it is ... equally, here, on my little-read blog, I give my two SHOCK Beatle opinions 1)! George was not that nice. Like really. He had lots of bad opinions and was very petty 2)! Yoko did break up the Beatles! I mean, of course! I wish her all happiness, but, honestly, the people that watched Get Back and were like ... well, that puts to bed the misogynistic racist myth that Yoko Ono had anything to do with the Beatles breaking up ... what the jeeping fuck delusional nonsense were you watching? It's right there! Of course she did ... So there ... heady stuff ...

27. Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

26. The Real Thing - You to Me Are Everything

25. David Bowie - Space Oddity

24. David Essex - Gonna Make You a Star. Aah, David Jones and David Cook, both born in the suburbs in 1947. I've only played cricket against one of them. I only just twigged that Rock On is directly referenced on Drive by REM.. I had never put that 2 and 2 together before ... anyway, David Essex is a great British public figure, who veers between A-list and D-List, as all the very best do ... no one has ever more embodied the term "twinkle in his eye" ...

23. Diana Ross - I'm Still Waiting. What a run of songs this is!

22. Bee Gees - Night Fever

21. Chicago - If You Leave Me Now

20. Commodores - Three Times a Lady. You could just play this stuff on Oldies radio for ever ...

19. Art Garfunkel - Bright Eyes. It would be remiss of me not to admit that for a large chunk of my childhood, I felt that nothing on earth could be more beautiful than Bright Eyes. Nothing. And it still holds up pretty well. I think it is perhaps still somewhat underplayed just how many people in Britain between 45 and 55 learnt everything they know about death from Watership Down.

18. Don McLean - Vincent. And everything they know about art from this motherfucker. I've seen that goddamn Starry Night. That's a hell of a painting.

17. Slade - Cum On Feel the Noize

16. Simon Park Orchestra - Eye Level. I played this song, all the way through, at about 200 quizzes. If ever I was doing a round called the Follow On round, I'd set this as the background music, and get through the song as I asked the questions, and you could guarantee, every now and then, some misty-eyed 50-year old would come up to me and beam "Van der Valk!"

15. Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me). A real masterpiece single, this, I think. Again, when I remember, when i was a young teenager, the songs I'd heard which I really wanted to own, but didn't have the means to own yet, this was high on the list.

14. The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays

13. Tubeway Army - Are 'Friends' Electric?. The single quotes are such a work of genius.

12. Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - The Tears of a Clown. Everything about how Tears of a Clown came to be and came to be a UK Number 1 is so full of the mythology of pop music. But, anyway, good tune!

11. Freda Payne - Band of Gold. As is the case with this, in a way. Sneaky bit of Holland-Dozier-Holland.

10. Nilsson - Without You. Mad, as well, that  Paul McCartney wrote Come & Get It for Badfinger as if they couldn't write their own songs, and they wrote this. McCartney called this "the killer song of all time".

9. The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star

8. Blondie - Sunday Girl. Sunday Girl has always been my personal favourite Blondie song, but I'm doing the decent thing, and putting another Blondie song above it for this list.

7. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

6. T. Rex - Metal Guru

5. Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick. I was watching a bit of early 80s Ian Dury and the Blockheads live footage last weekend, and it was the time Wilko Johnson was in the band , and, gee whizz, i thought, those are two extremely brilliant men one would not like to cross on a dark night ...

4. Althea & Donna - Uptown Top Ranking. An' ting

3. Blondie - Heart of Glass. So, yes, though Sunday Girl has always been my pet favourite, Heart of Glass is Blondie's masterwork, one of those perfect records where everyone got everything right.

2. Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge over Troubled Water. Something so great about how honest S and G have been about their complicated relationship, and how that gives you a different appreciation of their greatest works. Art doing this at the 1981 Central Park concert, Paul ceding the stage entirely, Art absolutely nailing it, giving himself a little pocket-level first pump when he finished, that is an incredibly beautiful thing ...

1. ABBA    Dancing Queen. Even when I had no time for the rest of ABBA, I always knew Dancing Queen was perfect. Just is.

Right, that turned out really enjoyable. I should do the 2010s next, but that's a whole different level of somewhat complex, unpleasant task, so, if i get round to that, it will be in a while, as there's not many Number 1s I truly love from that decade, and a lot I don't really know. So, if anything, it'll be the 1960s next, which is surely the decade with the closest connection between "popular" and "acclaimed" ...

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 2000s - ranked

Here we go again ... well, I thought these would be less good than the 80s but better than the 90s, but I'm not sure they are, in toto, better than the 90s (to be clear, here I am doing the decade from 2000 to 2009).

There are some fantastic ones at the top, but not that much variety. Most of the best ones are finely honed pop/r'n'b. There aren't that many really weird great songs. America and/or the American sound is pretty dominant. Even though there was a lot of successful "landfill indie" (a lot of of which was pretty good) in this decade, not that much of it made it to the top spot, so there are just not that many songs that in any way resemble rock music. 

And there is a lot of purest shite at the bottom - reality TV dross and horrible songs by creepy men. Also, there are a lot more songs here, compared to the 80s and 90s (where i only really needed to seek out about 10 songs each time), that I didn't really know - I could have just about sung the chorus, but not much more.

Anyway, like I say, there are still some fabulous pop songs at the top, and plenty of good ones up to around the midway point.

Ignition by R Kelly is a bit of a problem - it's a great, not especially creepy, song I used to like, but anyway, I'll just absent-mindedly leave it out, because i can't be bothered about my position on the art vs the artist on that one.

At the bottom, we have ...

273. Busted - Who's David?  - I'm David, you infantile shitheads! No, in all seriousness, though I took against Busted pretty instantly, I'd not realised how rank and misogynistic this song was. Like, the ultimate frightening woman-hating teenage boy song. Really awful ....

272. The X Factor Finalists 2009 - You Are Not Alone. A fateful meeting of all the worst things in the history of everything.

271. 3 of a Kind - Baby Cakes. Heady days when we first got Freeview and watched pop video channels, and there were lots of good pop songs/videos in 2004/2005, and then along came this, and it was on all the time, and it was so bad, so I kind of blame this song for driving me in into the embrace of Sky Sports News.

270. Kid Rock - All Summer Long

269. Limp Bizkit - Rollin'. So bad, so much of the worst music ever made by anyone ever. Not getting overserious, but I feel a lot of this music lays bare and foreshadows everything that's gone this century.

268. The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge and Avery Storm - Nasty Girl

267. Akon - Lonely. This is bad. Akon was bad.

266. Akon featuring Eminem - Smack That. This is probably worse.

265. Bob the Builder - Mambo No. 5

264. Madonna - American Pie. Madonna had a run of really really bad singles at the start of this century. Thankfully that run ended, as we will come to later.

263. Busted - You Said No. More Busted incel dross.

262. Bob the Builder - Can We Fix It? 

261. David Guetta featuring Akon - Sexy Chick. Akon's Greatest Number 1!

260. Ja Rule featuring R. Kelly and Ashanti - Wonderful

259. The X Factor Finalists 2008 - Hero

258. Gareth Gates featuring The Kumars  - Spirit in the Sky

257. Atomic Kitten - The Tide Is High (Get the Feeling)

256. Gareth Gates - Unchained Melody

255. Geri Halliwell - It's Raining Men. That joke wasn't funny anymore.

254. Mariah Carey featuring Westlife - Against All Odds

253. Leon Jackson - When You Believe

252. McFly - Don't Stop Me Now / Please, Please

251. Five and Queen - We Will Rock You

250. Westlife  - Uptown Girl. There are a lot a lot of Westlife Number 1s in the 2000s, and inevitably some of them must be less awful than others. But this is solidly awful.

249. Mario Winans featuring Enya and P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know. This is not even that bad, then along comes Diddy ...

248. Peter Kay's Animated All Star Band  - The Official BBC Children in Need Medley

247. Crazy Frog  - Axel F

246. Westlife - I Have a Dream / Seasons in the Sun

245. Steps - Stomp. Steps were never not shite. I don't accept any retrospective fondness towards Steps.

244. Will Young and Gareth Gates - The Long and Winding Road / Suspicious Minds. As we will get to, Will Young was capable of greatness, and there's nothing too wrong with this, but neither are singing songs they're really suited to.

243. DJ Ötzi - Hey Baby. I played this a lot at quizzes. People liked it. I hate people.

242. Westlife - Unbreakable

241. Peter Andre featuring Bubbler Ranx - Mysterious Girl

240. Spice Girls - Holler / Let Love Lead the Way. This was the Spice Girls' late-career attempt to do serious, grown-up r'n'b and it was not good.

239. Michelle  - All This Time

238. Will Young - Anything Is Possible / Evergreen 

237. Atomic Kitten - Eternal Flame

236. The Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway. I won't, thanks.

235. Busted - Thunderbirds / 3AM. Not eternal.

234. Chico - It's Chico Time. That is, indeed, in every possible way, the time it was.

233. Elvis Presley - One Night / I Got Stung

232. Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman - Somethin' Stupid

231. A1 - Take on Me

230. Elvis Presley - It's Now or Never

229. Steve Brookstein  - Against All Odds. Now this is funny. And in some ways I ought to put this higher. The fact that the first series of the show that defined British pop music and TV for a decade was won by a nondescript middle-age pub singer, who clearly no one on the show really liked, and who turned out to be a crank, and it wasn't some kind of joke or stunt, it wasn't like  Boaty McBoatface, he was just the guy the British public voted for in huge numbers. 

228. Blue featuring Elton John  - Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

227. The Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes - Don't Cha. This is quite a good, but pernicious, song.

226. Sandi Thom -  I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in My Hair). This might have been laudable and heartwarming, but it was a real set-your-teeth-on-edge bad song.

225. Shaggy featuring Rayvon  - Angel. Shaggy had three great, funny, memorable Number 1s, but this was not one of them.

224. A1 - Same Old Brand New You

223. Madonna - Music. As I say, I found Madonna's run of singles from 2000 to 2003 to be absolutely wretched.

222. Shayne Ward - That's My Goal

221. Atomic Kitten - Whole Again. I truly did not understand how or why this song was massively successful. There were a couple of quite fun Atomic Kitten singles, but this I did not get.

220. Enrique Iglesias - Hero

219. Melanie C  - I Turn to You

218. DJ Sammy and Yanou featuring Do - Heaven

217. Vanessa Jenkins and Bryn West featuring Tom Jones and Robin Gibb - (Barry) Islands in the Stream

216. Robbie Williams - Radio

215. Hear'Say - The Way to Your Love. Their second (of two) Number 1s, a pleasant enough song.

214. Westlife  - Queen of My Heart

213. S Club 7  Have You Ever. I guess Hear'Say were built on the S Club, Steps model which seemed very successful at the turn of the century, but I'm not sure there's been a successful pop band like that since.

212. McFly  - Star Girl

211. Westlife - The Rose

210. Madison Avenue - Don't Call Me Baby

209. Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

208. Jennifer Lopez - Love Don't Cost a Thing. The curious case of Jennifer Lopez the second-rate pop star.

207. S Club 7  - Never Had a Dream Come True

206. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ. The Barry White sample is great. This is probably actually a great pop song, but it was just peak Williamsy Williams.

205. Billie Piper - Day & Night

204. Take That - Greatest Day. Although, chronologically, they did have a couple more good singles in them, I kind of feel this was the end of the feelgood Take That revival. Running from Back for Good, through Never Forget, Patience, Shine and Rule the World, they really seemed like they'd nailed doing actual top-class MOR, whereas this song was so forced, such an obvious failed attempt at something anthemic. But it's just got no tune, and it's so bland.

203. Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart

202. Sam & Mark - With a Little Help from My Friends. Aah they were pretty fun, Sam and Mark. No Ant and Dec, but no Dick and Dom.

201. Tinchy Stryder featuring Amelle Berrabah - Never Leave You

200. Roger Sanchez Another Chance

199. Eric Prydz  - Call on Me

198. David Sneddon - Stop Living the Lie. Fame Academy was a weird show, weirdly executed ...

197. LMC vs. U2  - Take Me to the Clouds Above

196. Westlife - Mandy. Maybe this should be higher. Mandy is the ultimate acceptably cheesy song, and actually Westlife can't really harm it.

195. Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake - Give It to Me

194. Blue - Too Close

193. The Pussycat Dolls - Stickwitu

192. Eminem - Just Lose It. Eminem just lost it.

191. Frankee  - F.U.R.B. (Fuck You Right Back). It was just quite poorly carried out.

190. Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson  - The Way I Are

189. Mint Royale - Singin' in the Rain

188. U2 - Vertigo. To  me, a bit like J-Lo, latterday U2 always felt like they were chasing someone's else's sound. Having said that, I think Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of, which reached Number 2, is their loveliest song, and if that was in the list, it would be Top 10.

187. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide

186. Melanie C featuring Lisa Left Eye Lopes - Never Be the Same Again

185. Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne - Changes. Baffling but not listenable.

184. Dizzee Rascal featuring Calvin Harris and Chrome - Dance wiv Me

183. Britney Spears - Born to Make You Happy

182. Chipmunk  - Oopsy Daisy

181. Basshunter featuring DJ Mental Theo's Bazzheadz  - Now You're Gone. Originally known as Tunahunter.

180. McFly  - Baby's Coming Back / Transylvania.

179. Cheryl Cole  - Fight for This Love

178. 2Pac featuring Elton John - Ghetto Gospel

177. Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

176. Lily Allen - Smile. Ok, i feel like we're out of hell now. The songs now are not all horrendous.

175. Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink - Lady Marmalade

174. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls

173. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack

172. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair

171. Holly Valance - Kiss Kiss. Actually a pretty great single, but Holly Valance has become more awful than could have been imagined, so hard to feel anything positive here.

170. Alexandra Burke  - Hallelujah. Carried the Buckley version all the way to Number 2...

169. Oxide & Neutrino  - Bound 4 da Reload (Casualty)

168. Westlife - My Love

167. Destiny's Child - Survivor. This was only a few months after Independent Women, and is a pretty similar song, but somehow pressed all the wrong buttons for me.

166. Elvis vs. JXL  - A Little Less Conversation

165. Blazin' Squad - Crossroads

164. Busted - Crashed the Wedding

163. Usher - Burn

162. Fatman Scoop featuring the Crooklyn Clan - Be Faithful. Very shouty.

161. Tomcraft  - Loneliness

160. Katie Melua and Eva Cassidy - What a Wonderful World. The new wave of boredom.

159. Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers

158. Brian McFadden - Real to Me

157. Sugababes vs. Girls Aloud - Walk This Way. I mean, fine, you have to do this kind of stuff, it's more fun than most charity records ...

156. Meck featuring Leo Sayer - Thunder in My Heart Again. You have your one Number 1 single and you deeply regret that you have taken the stage name Meck.

155. Dizzee Rascal featuring Chrome - Holiday

154. Pixie Lott - Boys and Girls. Looking for ...

153. Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This. But what if we can't ...

152. Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock. Well, Jailhouse Rock is a good song.

151. Chicane featuring Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up

150. Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It's Christmas? This is as early 2000s as the original is 80s. The Dizzee Rascal rap ... amazing ...

149. Westlife - Fool Again

148. Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone

147. Rui da Silva featuring Cassandra - Touch Me. Unbelievable ...

146. James Blunt - You're Beautiful

145. Girls Aloud - I'll Stand by You. Nice song, great band, not great.

144. Britney Spears - Everytime

143. Blue - If You Come Back. Blue were, I think, the most coherent of the boy bands - their records often sounded good while being silly in a memorable way, which is all you can ask for in the genre. But they didn't have a great Number 1. But if you take the first letters of their names, it makes LADS, which is really something

142. Afroman - Because I Got High

141. Leona Lewis - A Moment Like This

140. The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is the Love?

139. Christina Aguilera featuring Redman - Dirrty

138. U2 - Beautiful Day

137. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl

136. Tinchy Stryder featuring N-Dubz  - Number 1. More a Number 2 really, Haha

135. Flo Rida featuring Kesha - Right Round

134. JLS - Everybody in Love

133. U2 - Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own

132. Kylie Minogue - Slow

131. Gareth Gates - Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)

130. Liberty X  - Just a Little

129. Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down. This was their second of only two Number 1s, and not all that good. Presumably, after this band, the band faded away to nothing.

128. Eminem - Without Me. Like Oasis, Eminem kept on having Number 1 singles long after he stopped being at all good.

127. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

126. Lady Gaga featuring Colby O'Donis - Just Dance

125. JLS - Beat Again

124. Sugababes  - About You Now

123. Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar

122. Westlife - You Raise Me Up. Well, you know, it's the tune to Danny Boy. It can't be all bad.

121. Will Young - Light My Fire

120. The Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow

119. Westlife - World of Our Own

118. Orson - No Tomorrow. The Toto of their day.

117. Craig David - Fill Me In

116. McFly - I'll Be OK

115. Nelly featuring Tim McGraw - Over and Over

114. Five - Let's Dance. Not that one, but quite good, actually.

113. Jennifer Lopez - Get Right. Lopez's fairly successful attempt to get some of the Rich Harrison Crazy in Love/1 Thing magic. But nowhere near as good, because she's not good at this.

112. Elton John - Are You Ready for Love. He's good at this, so he could still have a Number 1 with a minor song 20 years after it was released.

111. LeAnn Rimes - Can't Fight the Moonlight

110. Room 5 featuring Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv

109. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words

108. The Proclaimers featuring Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)

107. Las Ketchup  - The Ketchup Song

106. Robbie Williams - Eternity / The Road to Mandalay. Acceptably unbad.

105. Ne-Yo - Closer.

104. Duffy - Mercy

103. Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z - Déjà Vu

102. Gnarls  Barkley -Crazy. Mixed feelings about Crazy, which was definitely one of the strongest, most memorable songs of the era. I guess I just got properly sick of it. Itself, and all the slowed down covers. And also, Cee-Lo Green turned out to be not great ...

101. The Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme

100. Modjo - Lady (Hear Me Tonight)

99. Sugababes - Freak Like Me

98. Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

97. Black Legend - You See the Trouble with Me

96. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

95. La Roux - Bulletproof

94. The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name. "you wannae dance ta thae ..."?

93. Aaliyah - More Than a Woman. Honestly, have never quite understood aaaaaalll the fuss about Aaliyah, sorry, sorry ...

92. Daniel Bedingfield - Never Gonna Leave Your Side. Whereas, big Danny B, there was never enough fuss ...

91. Ciara featuring Petey Pablo - Goodies. 

90. Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie. 

89. Beyoncé  - If I Were a Boy

88. Ne-Yo - So Sick

87. Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West  - Run This Town. The Rihanna bit's great and the Jay-Z bit's great, and then along comes shithead, and it's not just in hindsight, his bit is just rank. Was never not a prick.

86. Geri Halliwell - Bag It Up. The joke was still funny.

85. Sugababes  - Hole in the Head

84. Darius - Colourblind. The people's Darius.

83.The Corrs - Breathless

82. DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies - Do You Really Like It?

81. Britney Spears - Oops!... I Did It Again

80. Fragma - Toca's Miracle

79. Gabrielle - Rise. The second Knockin' on Heaven's Door-based Number 1 in 5 years, weirdly.

78. Pixie Lott - Mama Do (Uh Oh, Uh Oh)

77. Lily Allen - The Fear. I was by no means a Lily Allen fan, but i think this song had a real melancholy to it.

76. Leona Lewis - Run

75. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire. Really silly, but still quite good

74. Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle.

73. Tony Christie featuring Peter Kay - (Is This the Way to) Amarillo

72. McFly - All About You / You've Got a Friend

71. Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World

70.Pink - Just like a Pill

69. Oasis - The Hindu Times. The weird truth is that the four Oasis Number 1s of the 2000s are actually better, on average, than the four Oasis Number 1s of the 1990s. Their Number 1s later on were solid content, whereas two of their 90s Number 1s were the absolute worst. This is not brilliant, but as good as they were going to be at that point.

68. George Harrison - My Sweet Lord

67. Hear'Say - Pure and Simple

66. Craig David - 7 Days

65.Madonna - Sorry

64. Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes

63. Rihanna - Take a Bow. Two Madonna songs, and then confusingly, not a Madonna song.

62. S Club 7  - Don't Stop Movin'

61. The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

60. Alexandra Burke featuring Flo Rida - Bad Boys

59. Kanye West - Stronger. Fair enough, this one.

58. My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade

57. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back). You know, one ought to hate this, but it was pretty well executed.

56. Take That - Shine. Little Mark Owen and his hopeless voice, but a nice song

55. Usher featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris - Yeah!

54. Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

53. Sugababes - Round Round

52. Mika - Grace Kelly

51. So Solid Crew - 21 Seconds. Ashley Walters is a great actor. Well, anyway, this song had its moment.

50. Nizlopi - JCB Song. Rather like the Eamon song, one ought to hate this, and it certainly incurred its share of mockery at the time, but, you know, good on them. It's sweet. It is. And i hope they were made for life.

49. Nelly - My Place / Flap Your Wings

48. Kylie Minogue - Spinning Around

47. Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

46. Coldplay - Viva la Vida. I think, in being perpetually disappointed for many years by Coldplay, I misunderstood Coldplay. They're a singles pop band, not an albums rock band. and if you pick out 10 to 12 singles from their career, they're a really good singles band. So fair enough.

45.Cascada  - Evacuate the Dancefloor

44. Razorlight  - America. Chronologically, this played a trick on me, as I could have sworn it was part of the phase when Razorlight were still considered good (by me and others), but it was after In the Morning and Somewhere Else, which were successful but very flabby singles. Razorlight fell faster and harder than most, and have never been able to regenerate any interest, despite the fact they had two genuinely massive albums. Some people did hate this song, but I thought it was fine.

43. Gorillaz - Dare. Not the best Gorillaz song, but nice that they had a Number 1, in the same month as ...

42. Oasis - Lyla ... this extremely derivative Oasis song which was pretty good.

41. McFly - Obviously

40. Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not the One

39. Nelly Furtado - Maneater

38. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

37. Oasis - Go Let It Out. The space between Oasis releasing the single Go Let it Out and the album Standing on the Shoulder of Giants was the space where Oasis might still have turned out to be a band with something about them. This song was not a masterpiece, but it sounded like a band that listened to new things and wanted to change ... the album was, apart from this and instrumental opener Fucking in the Bushes, dreadful, though.

36. Ronan Keating - Life Is a Rollercoaster. Gregg Alexander.

35. Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland - Dilemma

34. Manic Street Preachers  - The Masses Against the Classes. Although it was fun that the Manics gamed the system to have one of the first Number 1s of the decade, this was not a very good song, and actually is particularly bittersweet because it marks the end of their strongest commercial era. They really lost the knack for quite a few years after this.

33. Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby. Funny, I notice, that I'm really grouping the decent indie-rock songs around this point. I can't bring myself to put them right at the top, but I'm still enough of an indie kid to loyally put them Top 50ish. Anyway, the Kaiser Chiefs, who could really entertain. They have actually done eight albums, all of which have gone Top 10. Ricky Wilson was always pretty committed to trying to be famous, I think.

32. Estelle featuring Kanye West - American Boy. I would say, pretty much, the only genuinely charming song with Kanye West on it.

31. Stereophonics - Dakota. See above point. Most of the Stereophonics songs after their first album were not at all good to listen to, but this, I think, was and still is a very good song.

30. Blu Cantrell featuring Sean Paul - Breathe

29. David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over. Kelly's actually involved with several really good Number 1s. Especially as it was shown in later footage that she was the X Factor judge purely responsible for forming Little Mix.

28. Lady Gaga - Poker Face

27. All Saints  - Black Coffee. Here's a funny thing - we had Black Coffee as a clue on OC a few years' back and loads, i mean, loads of people on twitter commented "that's Pure Shores, you've got the wrong song". But it was the right song. So, you could say the songs sound alike, but it's not just that. It's like people have forgotten Black Coffee exists - that they had two really great Number 1s in quick succession ...

26. Dizzee Rascal featuring Armand Van Helden - Bonkers. A banger.

25. Girls Aloud - Sound of the Underground

24. Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor. If you were to study the charts in the traditional way, you'd say the Arctic Monkeys' debut single was their biggest hit, they had one more Number 1 and then no more massive hits. But that is very much not the case. 'Dancefloor' is only their 9th most streamed song on Spotify. They are INCREDIBLY successful, wildly. Maybe the biggest rock band in the world. They've six songs with over a billion spotify streams, none from their debut album. Their most successful song is based on a John Cooper Clarke poem. Following on from that, in general, as you can see, there are not that many indie and rock, or landfill indie, Number 1s in the 2000s. None for The Strokes, or Franz Ferdinand, or The Libertines, The White Stripes, or whoever else ... but, interestingly, a lot of this music has stood the test of time - commercially, I mean -  pretty well. The Kooks, Keane, The Killers, even a band like The Wombats ... they do really good numbers ...

23. t.A.T.u. - All the Things She Said

22. Sonique  - It Feels So Good

21. Lady Gaga  - Bad Romance

20. Pink - So What

19. Madonna - Hung Up. For a variety of reasons - bad acting, her run of dodgy singles, the influence of intellectualized misogyny etc - I'd spent the mid-90s to the mid-2000s thinking Madonna was basically not good. Hung Up was a great single, though, and so I stopped being an idiot.

18. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head. Perhaps Can't Get You Out of My Head was a little overhyped - didn't Paul Morley write a book about it or something? - and I can't say I would ever actually choose to put it on to get whatever kicks I get from the popular song, but, you know, it's a nice little number.

17. Spiller ft Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet (If This Ain't Love). The first song played on an ipod, fact fans.

16. Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long?. Actually my favourite Spice Girls-related song by some distance. Just a nice song.

15. Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name. Not only is this, obviously, a banger, but it really did signal the start of the end of the X-Factor era ... I mean, the early start, of course ... there was still One Direction and Little Mix to come.

14. Eminem - Stan. At this point, it's important to remember, Eminem was really considered capable of being very very good.

13. All Saints - Pure Shores. Not Black Coffee.

12. Shaggy featuring RikRok - It Wasn't Me

11. Britney Spears - Toxic

10. Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

9. Sugababes - Push the Button.  

8. Take That - Patience. Very knitwear.

7. Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z - Crazy in Love

6. Will Young - Leave Right Now. I've thought fairly hard about the order of the Top 10, for what it's worth. Nevertheless, putting Leave Right Now above Crazy in Love is a bold call. But i'm sticking with it.

5. Eminem - Lose Yourself

4. Girls Aloud - The Promise

3. Destiny's Child - Independent Women Part I. I bought cassette singles of this and Stan on the same day - I think from Woolworths in St Andrews - and for me, that was a significant thing to do. 

2. Rihanna featuring Jay-Z  - Umbrella.

1. Robyn with Kleerup - With Every Heartbeat. Umbrella was a more obvious choice, but I just love the "and-it-hurts-with-every-heartbeat" bit so much. I first encountered this when I joined a gym in South London, and I saw the video up on the wall without ever listening to the song, Robyn marching with serious sad intent towards the camera. I can't even remember when I first paid attention to the song itself, but, as much as there is a lot of very bad pop music this century, Robyn has led the way in there also being a lot of very good pop music, so yay.

I will do the 1970s next, which will be fun, but I am already casting my eyes at the 2010s with dread ... there are some great songs, but a lot I do really hate (here comes Drake ...) and more than ever I hardly know, so I'm not entirely sure if I'll get to it any time soon ...

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1980s - ranked

As I suspected, these are much better. Much much better than the Number 1s of the 1990s. Much harder to separate. Even a lot of the quite bad ones are fun and silly, rather than cynical and grotesque. I guess a part of that is I didn't experience most of the 80s in the same way as I did the 90s, actively invested in music and resenting the music that I had to hear over and again, clogging up the charts. But there are definitely various big shifts for the worse in chart music in the 1990s.

Take a band like Duran Duran, who I've always thought of as a band I don't like. Well, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing objectionable about the way they went about their work, I just don't particularly like the sound they created ...they had two Number 1s in the 80s and they're both ...ok. But they'll be pretty low down this list. Sorry, Duran Duran. 

So, let's enjoy the hits of this relative golden age. Again, these are in order of my favourite, not any particular kind of historical judgement.

191. Band Aid II - Do They Know It's Christmas? Perhaps fitting that the worst Number 1 of the 80s is the first Number 1 of the 90s. I don't really have anything against it, it's just a truly terrible-sounding record with a comically underwhelming parade of passing stars.

190. UB40 and Chrissie Hynde - I Got You Babe. Well, one thing this has told me is how much I do not like the sound of Ali Campbell's voice.

189. UB40 - Red Red Wine. Indeed.

188. Johnny Logan - What's Another Year. Do you know, I'd basically never heard this, and I think I always thought it would be grandiose, but I was underwhelmed ...

187. St Winifred's School Choir - There's No One Quite Like Grandma. First record I listened to was St Winifred's School Choir sing the hits ... so maybe I should be more forgiving ...

186. Phil Collins - A Groovy Kind of Love. Actually, my loathing for this is purely because i remember looking at the charts in the newspaper and a sibling asking "what's Number 1?" and i found this a really icky title to say, so froze up and blushed ...

185. Bucks Fizz  - My Camera Never Lies

184. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?

183. Julio Iglesias - Begin the Beguine (Volver a Empezar). Not a good version

182. Aneka - Japanese Boy

181. Dave Stewart with Barbara Gaskin - It's My Party. Not a good version

180. Spitting Image - The Chicken Song. I guess it was funny at the time.

179. Captain Sensible - Happy Talk

178. Stevie Wonder - I Just Called to Say I Love You

177. The Firm - Star Trekkin'. I guess, at the time, it was funny.

176. Glenn Medeiros  - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You

175. Nicole - A Little Peace

174. Shakin' Stevens  - Oh Julie

173. Aretha Franklin and George Michael - I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me). I'm always a little taken aback at how little I like Aretha Franklin's singles of the 80s and 90s.

172. The Crowd - You'll Never Walk Alone. There were three (3!) Liverpool-related Charity tragedy Number 1s of the 80s. This one was after the Bradford stadium disaster.

171. Madonna - Who's That Girl

170. David Bowie and Mick Jagger - Dancing in the Street. The thing is, though it's funny and silly in retrospect, this record, at the time, made me think David Bowie was lame, Mick Jagger and the Stones must be rubbish, and Dancing in the Streets was a rubbish song, and it took a decade for me to realise I was wrong about all of those.

169. Sonia - You'll Never Stop Me Loving You

168. Rod Stewart - Baby Jane

167. Fern Kinney - Together We Are Beautiful

166. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers  - Let's Party. I know these are rubbish, but I enjoyed them at the time. It was the first time I'd heard the songs they sampled...

165. Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County. Well, i didn't really know this, and i listened to it, and it's darker than i thought.

164. Shakin' Stevens - Green Door

163. Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall (Part II). Think i actually hate this. Think i'm doing a gross disservice to Sonia and Shaky by placing it above them.

162. Culture Club  - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me

161. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes

160. Bros - I Owe You Nothing

159. Philip Bailey and Phil Collins - Easy Lover. This is actually a really good record, and the only reason I hate it is my neighbour two doors down is the drummer in a wedding band and they rehearse in his garage, and one summer I was hearing them bash through Easy Lover about five times every Saturday ...

158. Chris de Burgh - The Lady in Red

157. USA for Africa - We Are the World. Well, i watched a whole documentary about the recording of this one song, so i can't hate it that much ...

156. Doctor and the Medics - Spirit in the Sky

155. Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

154. Billy Ocean  - When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going

153. Tight Fit - The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Number 1 on the first TOTP I ever watched.

152. Wham! - I'm Your Man

151. Boy George - Everything I Own 

150. Jason Donovan - Sealed with a Kiss

149. Aswad - Don't Turn Around

148. Phil Collins - You Can't Hurry Love

147. U2  - Desire

146. Boris Gardiner - I Want to Wake Up with You

145. The Jam - Start! Always my least favourite Jam hit. I've never really been able to get anything from it. 

144. Goombay Dance Band - Seven Tears. One of the least cool records ever, but quite a nice tune. 

143. Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

142. Wet Wet Wet / Billy Bragg and Cara Tivey  - With a Little Help from My Friends / She's Leaving Home. Nice that Billy Bragg had a Number 1, but ...

141. Renée and Renato  - Save Your Love. From this point, I think, I like most of the songs, even when they're a bit silly.

140. New Kids on the Block - You Got It (The Right Stuff)

139. Michael Jackson  - One Day In Your Life. I remember they played this one the radio they day Michael Jackson died.

138. John Lennon - Imagine. Presumably they played this on the radio they day John Lennon died.

137. The Detroit Spinners - Working My Way Back to You – Forgive Me Girl

136. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers  - That's What I Like

135. Kajagoogoo - Too Shy

134. Jennifer Rush - The Power of Love

133. Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder - Ebony and Ivory

132. Shakin' Stevens - This Ole House

131. Olivia Newton-John and Electric Light Orchestra - Xanadu

130. Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up

129. Cliff Richard and the Young Ones featuring Hank Marvin - Living Doll. Think we had this single. Pretty funny. 

128. Jackie Wilson - Reet Petite

127. Jim Diamond - I Should Have Known Better. I associate Jim Diamond with crabapples, but that's another story ...

126. Kylie Minogue - Hand on Your Heart. Probably the least of Kylie's Number 1s, but still, nice enough.

125. Odyssey - Use It Up and Wear It Out

124. Joe Dolce Music Theatre  - Shaddap Your Face

123. ABBA - Super Trouper

122. The Timelords - Doctorin' the Tardis

121. Nick Berry - Every Loser Wins. Every single one.

120. Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers - Swing the Mood. Everything i know most surely about morality and obligation, i owe to Swing the Mood by Jive Bunny

119. John Lennon - (Just Like) Starting Over

118. Cliff Richard - Mistletoe and Wine

117. Pet Shop Boys - Heart

116. Ferry Aid - Let It Be. Should be higher, really, because of the Norwegian comedy celebrity mimealong, one of the greatest things ever ...

115. Phyllis Nelson - Move Closer

114. Steve Silk Hurley - Jack Your Body 

113. Duran Duran - The Reflex. Might actually be my favourite of theirs ...

112. Berlin - Take My Breath Away

111. Foreigner - I Want to Know What Love Is

110. MARRS - Pump Up the Volume

109. Madonna - Papa Don't Preach

108. Robin Beck - First Time

107. Pet Shop Boys - Always on My Mind

106. Nena - 99 Red Balloons

105. Paul Hardcastle - 19

104. The Special A.K.A. - Too Much Too Young - The Special A.K.A. Live! (EP) 

103. Simple Minds - Belfast Child. Pretty weird that this was a Number 1 single

102. Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

101. Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan - Especially for You

100. Fairground Attraction - Perfect

99. Roxy Music - Jealous Guy. Bryan Ferry is up there with Ali Campbell in terms of vocalists i can't abide, but he can't ruin Jealous Guy.

98. Chaka Khan - I Feel for You

97. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up

96. Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now. A great song, this. The powerpop Rubinoos version slightly spoilt the Tiffany version for me.

95. Kylie Minogue - I Should Be So Lucky

94. George Michael - Careless Whisper

93. Ben E. King - Stand by Me. I began writing a blog 16 years ago because of thinking about Dock of the Bay, what an immensely good song it is, and how it is just kind of "there", and I suppose Stand by Me is the same thing ... just "there", but when you really listen to it, a wonderful thing to listen to.

92. Feargal Sharkey - A Good Heart

91. Charlene - I've Never Been to Me

90. Kelly Marie  - Feels Like I'm in Love

89. The Christians, Holly Johnson, Paul McCartney, Gerry Marsden and Stock Aitken Waterman - Ferry 'Cross the Mersey. A bit like with the Dunblane Number 1, this was genuinely moving and part of something that profoundly affected the country. I also think this is a really nice song ...

88. The Bangles - Eternal Flame

87. Whitney Houston - Saving All My Love for You

86. Madonna - La Isla Bonita

85. Starship  - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. Quite bad, really, but I do love "let'em say we're crazy"

84. Don McLean - Crying. I used to have a Don McLean tape and I confess i thought his version of Crying was great, so there we go.

83. New Edition - Candy Girl

82. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax

81. Yazz and the Plastic Population - The Only Way Is Up. I owned her follow up single 'Stand Up for Your Love Rights', which i heard in the Co-op recently, and that's a right-on record!

80. Smokey Robinson - Being with You. Well, not his greatest song, obviously, but quite good really.

79. Blondie - The Tide Is High. Blondie's covers were always so good, that they're barely covers at all.

78. Madonna - True Blue

77. George Michael - A Different Corner

76. Culture Club - Karma Chameleon

75. The Mash - Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless)

74. Soft Cell - Tainted Love 

73. Adam Ant - Goody Two Shoes

72. KC and the Sunshine Band - Give It Up

71. Midge Ure  - If I Was

70. The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me. There was a version on a Police Greatest Hits my brother used to have which was slower, and i liked that a lot better ...

69. Mel and Kim - Respectable. We are generation "tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-ta-tay-tay-tay-tay"

68. Kraftwerk  -The Model / Computer Love. Apparently some people like this band.

67. T'Pau - China in Your Hand

66. The Police - Every Breath You Take

65. Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record). This really is all the stuff students danced to badly, isn't it ...

64. The Flying Pickets - Only You

63. Enya - Orinoco Flow

62. S'Express - Theme from S'Express

61. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?

60. The Communards with Sarah Jane Morris - Don't Leave Me This Way

59. Men at Work - Down Under. I think probably for a while I thought it was the coolest, most quotable thing in the world

58. Billy Joel - Uptown Girl

57. The Specials - Ghost Town. Like not love

56. Lionel Richie - Hello. Although this is a silly song with a famously comical video, the bit where we sings "cos i wonder where you are and i wonder what you do" is one of those tunes (Woman in Love is another one) that absolutely haunted me during my childhood. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was in my head, and it was magical ...

55. Sister Sledge - Frankie

54. Survivor - Eye of the Tiger

53. Europe - The Final Countdown. Amazing that someone (Joey Tempest) wrote the synth intro to this, and it hasn't just existed for ever.

52. Whitney Houston - One Moment in Time. Probably thought this was the best song in the world for a while. I do love sport, after all.

51. The Housemartins  - Caravan of Love

50. Paul Young - Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home). Slowed down white boy soul covers, these ..

49. John Lennon - Woman. A very nice John Lennon song this - the best of the three that hit Number 1 after his death.

48. Madonna - Into the Groove

47. The Jam - Beat Surrender. Used to love Beat Surrender. Was probably my favourite for a while. Have you seen the TOTP performance? Such a weird set-up. Weller at the back on a platform with a backing singer, no guitar, dancing incredibly awkwardly - Bruce and a keyboardist in the middle, Rick Buckler on drums on the front.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BSpvQnbXAY&ab_channel=Jellyfan

46. Paul McCartney  - Pipes of Peace

45. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

44. Bucks Fizz - The Land of Make Believe. Pleasingly, a piece of scathing capitalism satire disguised as a pop song.

43. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - The Power of Love

42. Diana Ross - Chain Reaction

41. David Bowie - Let's Dance. I heard this when i was walking through Hyde Park a couple of summers ago. That summer when the grass turned white from the drought. Chic were playing BST, and Nile Rodgers was playing this, which he co-created ... quite a cool little thing to eavesdrop on ...

40. Wham! - The Edge of Heaven

39. A-ha - The Sun Always Shines on T.V. I used to listen to the Hunting High and Low album a lot, as my sister had it. That is a an album packed with tunes. I think that could easily be rediscovered as a lost classic. Even the non-singles are great tunes.

38. Black Box - Ride on Time

37. Jason Donovan - Too Many Broken Hearts

36. Eddy Grant - I Don't Wanna Dance. Aah, because this hardly ever gets played, it's quite a blast of nostalgia just to think of it.

35. Los Lobos - La Bamba. Well I found out recently that Dylan used this somewhat as the basis for Like a Rolling Stone, so there you go ...

34. Adam and the Ants - Prince Charming. It did turn out that ridicule was very much something to be scared of, but it gave us all hope for a while

33. Irene Cara - Fame

32. Madness  - House of Fun

31. Barbra Streisand - Woman in Love. What a tune!

30. David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes

29. Dexys Midnight Runners  - Come On Eileen. I have had phases of loving this, phases of loathing it, but it's always been a very nicely made song.

28. The Human League  - Don't You Want Me

27. The Police - Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. This is Sting's most joyous song, right? There are other good Police songs, even in his more maligned solo cannon, but there's nothing else so purely fun as is this one ...

26. Wham! - Freedom. 

25. Pet Shop Boys - It's a Sin

24. Blondie - Atomic. All of these songs are just classics.

23. Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson  - I Know Him So Well. Whereas this, I'm not so sure, but I love it. 

22. Pretenders - Brass in Pocket. Chrissie Hynde is just one of the greatest. I saw a clip of the Pretenders doing Don't Get Me Wrong on, like, Wogan, from the mid-80s a few weeks ago, and it was like watching Elvis or something. Pure rock star.

21. ABBA - The Winner Takes It All

20. Spandau Ballet - True 

19. Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls. A lot of people feel like this, i think, exactly the same way I feel about what will be Number 1. Just new and unique and perfect.

18. Soul II Soul - Back to Life (However Do You Want Me)

17. The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. I'm quite interested in the Hollies. I always loved Allan Clarke's voice - just a lovely, flexible, English pop-soul-country voice, but Nash is a real fascinating character. The most groovy-baby guy in rock, you can kind of tell he's a bit of a volcano too. Wrote some lovely songs. When he's interviewed, he always calls people something they're not usually known as, to show that he and they were great mates. Art Garfunkel is Arthur Garfunkel, David Crosby is always just Crosby, Joni Mitchell is always Joan. Anyway, the Hollies were more experimental than given credit for, Nash left because it wasn't enough, then the band reverted to the basics with this beautiful country cover. Anyway, saying all that ... i just love this song so much. 

16. Bee Gees - You Win Again

15. Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

14. Blondie - Call Me. Especially in American Gigolo. Just one of the best bits of music in film. Richard Gere in 1980 - a handsome man, i think one would say ...

13. Lisa Stansfield - All Around the World. Not as perfect, but a wonderful record in the same way that Would I Lie to You is.

12. Queen and David Bowie - Under Pressure. Quite a strange record. Has some slightly cringey moments, but the best bits really are as good as you'd hope.

11. Marc Almond featuring Gene Pitney - Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart. Scowlets for me, scowlets for you.

10. Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth.  Thinking about the fact that I first heard this in Going Live 38 years ago is really something. 38 really is a lot of years.

9. Musical Youth - Pass the Dutchie. 

8. The Jam - Town Called Malice / Precious. Funny the different relationship Weller has with this and his other biggest hit song. As a solo artist, he's played this over 350 times. The other one, well, setlist says Zero, but it's not zero, he definitely played Going Underground once or twice for special occasions in the early 2000s... but Town Called Malice has become a Weller singalong but the Motown rip-off single is still where it's best. Precious is pretty good too.

7. Whitney Houston  - I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)

6. Dexys Midnight Runners - Geno

5. Adam and the Ants - Stand and Deliver. Dexys and Adam and the Ants are twin bands, for me. Just marvellous stuff. Like Richard Gere, Adam Ant was handsome in the early 80s.

4. Michael Jackson  - Billie Jean. I wonder if more people have danced to this song than any other. People never are not dancing to Billie Jean. Ignition was not big enough not be cancelled, but this can't be cancelled.

3. Eurythmics - There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart). 

2. Madonna - Like a Prayer. Blissful.

1.The Jam - Going Underground / Dreams of Children. I suppose I could have made it something else. This song no longer thrills me, but it did for over 20 years. I don't think there was a Number 1 like this before - so unglamorous, so spiky. Still blows my mind that it was meant to be the b-side to Dreams of Children. Dreams of Children is decent, but this is the one, the song of Weller's life.