And finally ... my favourite Number 1s

I might as well tie it all together.

Having now listened to all the UK Number 1s, I'll run down my favourite 25.

I made a nice little playlist of my top 5 from each decade and added a few others, to help me decide.

This is very loose, it really is just what I'm feeling this week, but I think it's a good snapshot of the most interesting songs that have achieved popularity over the last 70 years.

The order of things is already a bit different from the individual lists for each decade ...

1. Going Underground - The Jam. I think this must be my favourite, after all.

2. Diamonds - Rihanna. This is a much more transient choice. I just love it at the moment.

3. Why Do Fools Fall in Love? - Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers

4. Brimful of Asha - Cornershop

5. Dancing Queen - ABBA

6. Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

7. Would I Lie to You? - Charles and Eddie

8. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel

9. We Can Work it Out - The Beatles

10. Umbrella - Rihanna

11. With Every Heartbeat - Robyn ft Kleerup

12. There Must Be An Angel - Eurythmics

13. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield

14. Like a Prayer - Madonna

15. Independent Women Pt 1 - Destiny's Child

16. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

17. Heart of Glass - Blondie

18. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor

19. What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish

20. Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin

21. Uptown Top Ranking - Althea and Donna

22. Concrete and Clay - Unit 4+2

23. Stand and Deliver - Adam and the Ants

24. Geno - Dexys Midnight Runners

25. The Promise - Girls Aloud

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 2020s (so far) - ranked

 OK, an unexpected pleasure. Just mainly good stuff. So much better than the previous decade, it's hard to describe. Not that many all-time classics, but so much less of the rank bad stuff that clogged up the higher reaches of the charts really from the late 90s all the way to the mid-2010s.

Saying that, we have to get through this first four.

77. LadBaby - Food Aid. I'd not actually listened to these before, just reasonably assumed how bad they'd be, but I actually listened to some of this today, and it's way worse than could possibly have been imagined. Just unbelievably bad to listen to. Makes me hate this country even more than i already do.

76. LadBaby featuring Ed Sheeran and Elton John - Sausage Rolls for Everyone. This is much better. Only kidding.

75. LadBaby  - Don't Stop Me Eatin'. This is much better. Only kidding.

74. Michael Ball, Captain Tom Moore and the NHS Voices of Care Choir - You'll Never Walk Alone. Hahahahahaha. Probably my favourite band, Michael Ball, Captain Tom Moore and the NHS Voices of Care Choir.

73. David Guetta and Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue). Aah look no, i couldn't stand this first time around, i don't want to revisit it.

72. Lewis Capaldi - Wish You the Best. They do grate after a while, the Capaldi songs, I'm afraid.

71. Ed Sheeran and Elton John - Merry Christmas. Ching-ching. I mean, all Christmas songs are ching-ching, but this really takes it to the next level.

70. Tion Wayne and Russ Millions - Body. I like the name Russ Millions, and I actually quite like the sound of this, but I found it wearing.

69. Jack Harlow - Lovin on Me

68. Saint Jhn - Roses

67. Gayle - ABCDEFU. As we will continue to find out, they're very sweary, the young ladies of popular music.

66. Lewis Capaldi - Forget Me

65. Ed Sheeran - Shivers

64. Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas Is You. I'm pretty certain that the main reason I still don't like this is that, when I was 15, I was shocked by the opportunism of it having been recorded in summer. Imagine. Hootenanny! But, there we go. The world may love it, but I still do not.

63. Alex Warren - Ordinary. One of these modern blokes.

62. Sabrina Carpenter - Taste

61. Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits

60 Internet Money featuring Gunna, Don Toliver and Nav - Lemonade

59. Lewis Capaldi -Before You Go

58. Adele - Easy on Me. Have hardly listened to Adele for more than ten years, but a few seconds of listening to this extremely Adele-like song, and I still find the vowels and the consonants annoying, I'm afraid.

57. Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding - Miracle

56. Elton John and Dua Lipa - Cold Heart (Pnau remix). Kind of works ok.

55. Drake - Toosie Slide

54. Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone - Fortnight

53. 24kGoldn featuring Iann Dior - Mood

52. Little Mix - Sweet Melody

51. Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo - Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)

50. Ariana Grande - Positions

49. DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch - Rockstar. Definitely not the worst song called Rockstar.

48. Eminem featuring Juice Wrld - Godzilla. Eminem's ability to still have massive singles is actually pretty impressive, and this is a perfectly good single.

47. BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge Allstars - Times Like These. Don't mind this all that much, surprisingly. The song suits the treatment quite well, most of the singers don't over-emote, and, yeah, unlike that creepy Hollywood Imagine, it seemed quite a sweet gesture in those zoomy gloomy days.

46. Hozier - Too Sweet. Hozier's enormous success it definitely one of those modern things I don't understand much. But fair enough.

45. Beyoncé - Texas Hold 'Em. Didn't like the album at all. This single is actually fine. but not good like Beyonce can be good.

44. Eminem - Houdini

43. Gracie Abrams - That's So True. A type.

42. Miley Cyrus - Flowers

41. Ellie Goulding - River. Again, didn't mind this. I remember it got to Number 1 purely on the back of being on a playlist, which is rank. And I'm not really a fan of Ellie Goulding, but River is an all-time song, and not the kind of thing one really hears in the pop charts, and she sings it really carefully and appropriately, if those don't seem like extremely weird adverbs to use.

40. Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion - WAP. Yikes, well crumbs, well really ...

39. Lewis Capaldi - Pointless. When he sings "airs and graces", it's hard not to warm to him. Hymn to Richard Osman, this.

38. Joel Corry and MNEK - Head & Heart

37. Carolina Gaitán, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero and Stephanie Beatriz - We Don't Talk About Bruno. And this was actually, fact fans, the first Disney film Number 1.

36. Noah Kahan - Stick Season. Now, this being, of pretty much all of the 73 years of UK Number 1s, the one song on the surface that  looks closest to the kind of music I have generally liked the most - beardy, sensitive, somewhat rural American men with guitars doing gentle, harmonious, tunes -, is a source of bafflement to me. If this song had turned up halfway through  a Fleet Foxes or Iron and Wine or Ray LaMontagne or Midlake or Band of Horses album, I don't think I'd have picked it out as a hit. I don't even hate it. It just sounds like a song. But it's a worldwide smash. Kids love it. Everyone loves it. Sometimes I don't get pop music.

35. Dave and Central Cee - Sprinter. Stylish, but not loveable.

34. Ed Sheeran - Eyes Closed

33. Charli XCX featuring Billie Eilish - Guess

32. Lola Young - Messy. It's good, it's just, there's a lot of swearing, and a lot of the same milieu about. It's a welcome milieu, but there are a lot of these about.

31. Gigi Perez  - Sailor Song

30. Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please

29. Taylor Swift - Anti-Hero

28. Wham! - Last Christmas

27. Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande - Rain on Me

26. The Beatles - Now and Then. I thought this was rather good, all things considered.

25. Benson Boone - Beautiful Things. I imagine this has inspired more awful karaoke versions than almost anything else in history. I'd give it a crack myself on a bad night.

24. Taylor Swift - Is It Over Now?

23. Chase & Status and Stormzy  - Backbone

22. Olivia Rodrigo   Drivers License

21. Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal  - B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)

20. Doja Cat - Paint the Town Red. Kid came home singing this. Radio edit. Mainly.

19. Lil Nas X  - Montero (Call Me by Your Name)

18. Nathan Evans, 220 Kid and Billen Ted - Wellerman. This is nice to listen to. There we go.

17. Olivia Rodrigo - Vampire. Kid came home singing this. Radio edit. Mainly.

16. Kenya Grace - Strangers

15. Sam Smith and Kim Petras - Unholy. This is a song with some pizzazz, I must say.

14. Olivia Rodrigo - Good 4 U

13. Dave - Starlight. I hope Dave dares to be great again.

12. Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy - Own It

11. Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso. Why the 2020s is so much better than the 2010s is that the songs have words which people have put some thought into. Taylor Swift is a really precise lyricist, whatever else. You can tell she spends time on it. And others have followed suit. This song has just got some real turns of phrase in it, and that's what i want to hear in pop songs sometimes.

10. Dua Lipa - Dance the Night

9. LF System - Afraid to Feel

8. Billie Eilish - No Time to Die. I think, if I'm not mistaken, this was the first time Billie Eilish displayed her capacity for grandeur.

7. Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us. Honestly, i have tried to hate this, found it deeply unedifying, but it is just the work of a master.

6. Raye featuring 070 Shake - Escapism

5. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill. One of the greatest songs ever, and gives hope to all other great songs that they'll randomly, cos of a TV show, get to Number 1 40 years later.

4. Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club. Of course, if Good Luck, Babe had, instead of stalling after several weeks at Number 2, snuck to Number 1 for just one week, it would be Number 1 on my list by a country mile, but Pink Pony Club is also, unquestionably, very enjoyable to listen to.

3. Harry Styles - As It Was. Yes, of course. But also, you know on Watermelon Sugar, when he's going "I just want to taste it, I just want to taste it", is that lifted from SFA's Smokin'? (i know that song took that from somewhere else but it's all pretty obscure ... has anyone else asked these key questions?).Anyway, As it Was. Good.

2. The Weeknd - Blinding Lights. Also good. The most streamed song ever. Will be the first song to 5 billion streams on spotify. I imagine, most times it has been streamed, people have thought, "yup, this is a good song".

Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For? A few years ago when mockney doofus and musical maestro Dan Abnormal got into trouble for saying he didn't really rate Taylor Swift's songs (and, more questionably, she didn't write them all by herself), but he loved Billie Eilish, at the time I thought "well, he probably hasn't listened much to either of them, he's probably just jetlagged and irritated" ... but now I think, having myself listened to them both an awful lot more,  he had listened to them both and he knew exactly what he was talking about. It's not a slight on Taylor Swift, whose songs are often excellent, but they really and truly just don't have ... whatever Billie Eilish has ... let's call it depth. Depth is the simplest, best word, isn't it. Writing and performing a hack song for the Barbie song, Billie Eilish and her brother managed to make something with some real depth.

Wowsers, that's it, that's all the Number 1s. I can't just leave it there. I'll hack together some kind of best-of, I expect. 

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1950s - ranked

Remember the 50s ... good times, they were. Men wore bowler hats and took part in comical long-distance car races, women played tennis and talked like a combination of Katharine and Audrey Hepburn.

Rock'n'roll began! Which was good. So the Number 1s from the 50s are surprisingly fun to listen to, and really, at times, feel rather thrilling.

There are also not that many, as it's only seven and a bit years, and some of them were Number 1 for a long long time. There is an odd phenomenon of the same song in different versions getting to Number 1 very near each other. The most marvellous of those is Answer Me by David Whitfield being replaced at Number 1 by Answer Me by Frankie Laine, which was replaced at Number 1 by Answer Me by David Whitfield. Answer me! Answer Me! Answer me, goddammit!!

Anywhere, there won't be so many derogatory comments here. There's little I absolutely hate. The pre-rock'n'roll stuff is sometimes a bit drab, but mainly in a forgivable way ...

93. The Stargazers - I See the Moon

92. The Dream Weavers - It's Almost Tomorrow

91. David Whitfield - Answer Me. Not as good as the Frankie Laine version ...

90. Pat Boone - I'll Be Home

89. Eddie Calvert - Oh Mein Papa

88. Eddie Calvert - Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White)

87. Don Cornell - Hold My Hand

86. Russ Conway - Side Saddle

85. Craig Douglas - Only Sixteen. The title makes it sound like it's going to be super-creepy, which it's not, but it's not great.

84. Johnnie Ray  - Yes Tonight Josephine. Moved a million hearts in mono, apparently, but not this one.

83. Slim Whitman - Rose Marie

82. Dickie Valentine with the Stargazers - The Finger of Suspicion

81. Winifred Atwell - Let's Have Another Party.  Very much the Jive Bunny records of their day.

80. The Stargazers - Broken Wings

79. Russ Conway - Roulette

78. Mantovani - The Song from Moulin Rouge. Until I heard this, I'd only known Mantovani as a rude rhyming slang word in Trainspotting ...

77. Vera Lynn - My Son, My Son. Gawd bless'er.

76. Tennessee Ernie Ford - Give Me Your Word

75. Pérez Prado and his Orchestra - Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White). Better than the Eddie Calvert version.

74. Ronnie Hilton - No Other Love

73. Eddie Fisher - Outside of Heaven

72. Dickie Valentine - Christmas Alphabet. Dickie Valentine sounds like it should be the name of a spiv friend of Walker in Dad's Army.

71. Guy Mitchell - Look at That Girl

70. David Whitfield with Mantovani and his Orchestra - Cara Mia. Class teacher on my PGCE was called David Whitfield. Once bumped him at a Decemberists gig. Don't think it's the same guy.

69. Frankie Laine - Hey Joe

68. Perry Como - Don't Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes

67. Andy Williams - Butterfly

66. Frankie Vaughan -The Garden of Eden

65. Guy Mitchell - Singing the Blues

64. Jimmy Young - The Man from Laramie

63. Ruby Murray - Softly, Softly. Talking of rhyming slang.

62. Frankie Laine - A Woman in Love

61. Eddie Fisher with Sally Sweetland  - I'm Walking Behind You. Talking of creepy titles.

60. Frankie Laine - Answer Me

59. Jerry Keller - Here Comes Summer

58. Conway Twitty - It's Only Make Believe

57. The Kalin Twins - When

56. Jimmy Young - Unchained Melody. Unchained Melody is a fabulous song, but this is not a great version. Did you know it's called Unchained Melody because it was on the soundtrack for a film called Unchained?

55. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - Travellin' Light

54. Lord Rockingham's XI - Hoots Mon

53. Guy Mitchell - Rock-a-Billy

52. Johnnie Ray - Just Walking in the Rain. Poor old Johnnie Ray ..

51. Winifred Atwell - The Poor People of Paris

50. The Johnston Brothers - Hernando's Hideaway

49. Kay Starr - Comes A-Long A-Love

48. Guy Mitchell - She Wears Red Feathers. Teetering on the brink of bad taste ...

47. Elvis Presley - A Fool Such as I / I Need Your Love Tonight

46. Michael Holliday - The Story of My Life

45. Alma Cogan - Dreamboat

44. Frank Sinatra - Three Coins in the Fountain

43. Tommy Edwards -  It's All in the Game

42. Tommy Steele - Singing the Blues. Still going, Tommy Steele. Pretty interesting wikipedia page. One of those people who was clearly massively famously for quite a long time but now not many people know about.

41. Anne Shelton  - Lay Down Your Arms

40. Johnnie Ray - Such a Night. Our mothers, crying, sang along, and who could blame them?

39. Doris Day - Secret Love

38. Shirley Bassey - As I Love You. From the hotel I always stay in Cardiff, you can see the row of small houses on Tiger Bay where Shirley Bassey was born and raised. She done well.

37. Elvis Presley - One Night / I Got Stung

36. Marvin Rainwater  - Whole Lotta Woman. Great name, Marvin Rainwater.

35. Paul Anka  - Diana. As far as I know, the only artist on the list who has done a version of Smells Like Teen Spirit, though, to be fair, wouldn't put it past Bassey either ...

34. Lonnie Donegan - Gamblin' Man / Puttin' On the Style

33. Kay Starr  - Rock and Roll Waltz

32. Lita Roza  - (How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?

31. Al Martino - Here in My Heart. The very first Number 1, and has a suitably grand introduction.

30. Jo Stafford  - You Belong to Me

29. Adam Faith - What Do You Want? You've got to have it, after all.

28. Jane Morgan - The Day the Rains Came

27. Elvis Presley - All Shook Up

26. Tony Bennett - Stranger in Paradise.  I was listening to this for about 20 seconds and thinking "wow, this guy, whoever it is, has a great voice", and, yes, that figures ...

25. Rosemary Clooney - This Ole House. Closemary Rooney.

24. Cliff Richard and the Drifters - Living Doll. The Drifters before they were The Shadows.

23. Perry Como - Magic Moments. Quality Street advert with Jeremy Rampling.

22. Dean Martin - Memories Are Made of This

21. Connie Francis - Who's Sorry Now

20. Tab Hunter - Young Love

19. Tennessee Ernie Ford - Sixteen Tons

18. Kitty Kallen - Little Things Mean a Lot. Just a whole bunch of nice, classic songs, at this stage.

17. Vic Damone - On the Street Where You Live. I would say, this could be better. It starts and ends too grand. Such a glorious song, but think I prefer a Nat King Cole version or such like.

16. Harry Belafonte - Mary's Boy Child

15. Connie Francis - Stupid Cupid / Carolina Moon

14. Bobby Darin - Dream Lover. Bobby Darin was Italian-American too, like nearly all the other singers.

13. Rosemary Clooney - Mambo Italiano. While Rosemary Clooney, despite her gleeful appropriation here, was not ...

12. Buddy Holly - It Doesn't Matter Anymore. The first ever posthumous Number 1, this ...

11. The Platters - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

10. Lonnie Donegan - Cumberland Gap. Seen, i think, as the first UK rock'n'roll-adjacent Number 1. Ferocious bit of skiffle.

9. The Crickets - That'll Be the Day. Buddy brilliant, as they say ...

8. The Everly Brothers - All I Have to Do Is Dream / Claudette

7. Bill Haley & His Comets - Rock Around the Clock. Terrific song, this, even removing the context. I remember dancing to this at a wedding when I was about 8, just going absolutely nuts to it. That's the feeling.

6. Doris Day - Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera). I really liked, when i watched The Man Who Knew Too Much, that it's, like, key to the whole twisty dark plot.

5. Frankie Laine - I Believe. Secretly, when we were young men of values and used to sing the Christian songs and the folk songs and the protest songs, this was my favourite. It is like, say, What a Wonderful World, and Every Grain of Sand, a song that says "a world so beautiful must have a benevolent creator, and that is my comfort" and i think one can be very susceptible to that when you're transitioning to realising that the mundane things that you thought were just mundane when you were young are actually miraculous in their mundanity. Anyway, still have massive fondness for this stirring song of simple faith. The Frankie Laine version is decent, though not perfect - it took me on a search for an ideal version, and surprisingly, the best I found was by old Tom Jones. 

4. Bobby Darin - Mack the Knife. Not many more fun songs in history than this one.

3. Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock. I've often struggled to hear the Elvis Presley that everyone else hears, but I hear it on Jailhouse Rock. What a performance.

2. Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire. The awful human of the era, and i guess if i was being consistent I'd put it bottom, but, there we go, get's the Billie Jean pass of indestructible ubiquity.

1. Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers - Why Do Fools Fall in Love. So beautiful. A few months after Rock around the Clock, but really the first real sound of youth. Still not topped, really.

OK, 50s done, just the 2020s to go ... think they'll be pretty decent ...

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 2010s - ranked

As I said before I started, this was always going to be a more substantial task for me than the other decades. Particularly during the first half of the 2010s, I really disassociated from chart music, and it didn't find its way to me by osmosis as it would have done in previous decades.

So, in some ways, that's made it more interesting - discovering songs for the first time, seeing if I can spot trends from an unbiased perspective. But, unfortunately, a lot of the music is not interesting enough to be interesting. There is a lot of really terrible, and terribly samey, stuff here.

The good news is, I think, that it started to get better again in the second half of the decade, and I think the top of the charts in the 2020s is generally a lot better than it was in the 2010s, so it was not terminal.

I think the main "trend", as such, is that the dividing line between women doing good or, at worst, listenable, songs, and men doing horrible, vain, boring, creepy, songs is pretty unignorable. In some ways, I guess, twas ever thus, but a little good humour and tune lightens the load of a one-track mind in a way that a relentless squawk and absolute mind-numbing lyrics does not.

Not all men, you know, not all men.

So, we're going to start with quite a lot of some of the worst songs I've ever heard, and then there's going to be a pretty big chunk of popular and competent stuff I don't really like, and then at the top, there'll be a reasonable number of great pop songs. But not rock, or folk songs. There'll be none of those. 

245. The Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit). It seems absurd that the worst song of the decade is not Blurred Lines, for many reasons the most accursed track of all time, but somehow, I listened to this, and every fibre of my body screamed - "this is the worst piece of music I have ever heard. That must be recognised".

244. Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell - Blurred Lines. The most accursed track of all time.

243. Lil Dicky featuring Chris Brown - Freaky Friday. About as funny as ...

242. Jason Derulo featuring 2 Chainz - Talk Dirty. You will be amazed at quite how many Number 1s Jason Derulo has. None of them are good.

241. Chris Brown - Turn Up the Music. No, I won't.

240. will.i.am featuring Britney Spears - Scream & Shout. I hadn't fully realised the extent to which William put out several of the laziest, most cynical, least imaginative songs in history over this period.

239. will.i.am featuring Cody Wise - It's My Birthday

238. LadBaby  -  I Love Sausage Rolls. The least said the better.

237. LadBaby  - We Built This City

236. Magic! - Rude

235. Tones and I  - Dance Monkey. The very oddness of this record perhaps deserves more respect, but, you know ...

234. The Lewisham and Greenwich NHS Choir  - A Bridge over You. All these ghastly feelgood charity choir things. This doesn't have Gareth Malone's name on it, but his fingerprints are on it

233. Post Malone featuring 21 Savage - Rockstar. Another terrible Malone. He seems like a nice fellow, Post Malone, but I cannot stomach his music.

232. Usher featuring will.i.am - OMG

231. Gareth Malone's All Star Choir - Wake Me Up

230. Pitbull featuring Kesha - Timber

229. Gary Barlow and the Commonwealth Band - Sing

228. Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass

227. Artists for Grenfell - Bridge over Troubled Water. The response to Grenfell was, I thought, beautiful and heartrending, and if this was an at-all decent record, it would be much higher, but it just isn't ... it is not a good song for the "my turn to emote" line-by-line treatment. It ought to be a smooth journey.

226. Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer  - Give Me Everything. My offer is this ... nothing!

225. Ed Sheeran - Perfect. Eddie will not do as badly here as one might expect, but this one, I remember when I heard it, especially the "duet" version with Beyonce, and, jesus, horrendous.

224. Band Aid 30 - Do They Know It's Christmas?. One job too many, BG.

223. Military Wives with Gareth Malone  - Wherever You Are. Go suck a fuck, Malone.

222. The X Factor Finalists 2011 featuring JLS and One Direction - Wishing on a Star

221. Omi - Cheerleader

220. Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull - On the Floor

219. The X Factor Finalists 2010 - Heroes. I'm going to level with you. I haven't actually listened to this. I've listened to pretty much everything else, but I think I'm comfortable there are not surprises here.

218. Scouting for Girls - This Ain't a Love Song. The sad fact is, if you don't count Coldplay, this, from 2010 is the only (so, one presumes, last ever) Number 1 by a British "indie band". This! Scouting for Girls, the absolute nadir of landfill indie. Whatever happened to my rock'n'roll radio ...

217. Lily Allen - Somewhere Only We Know

216. Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster. Ne-Yo has a nice voice, but his songs creep me out.

215. Ed Sheeran - Shape of You. As does this. The second most streamed song ever. 

214. Drake featuring Wizkid and Kyla - One Dance. I've dealt with this one before ... I mean, I'm actually afraid to say, in the light of its competition, I am finding it ... not that bad.

213. David Guetta and Chris Willis featuring Fergie and LMFAO - Gettin' Over You

212. Ben Haenow - Something I Need

211. Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself). See what I mean. Ick.

210. Joe McElderry - The Climb

209 - Ariana Grande - Break Up with Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored

208. Drake - In My Feelings

207. James Arthur - Impossible

206. Lukas Graham - 7 Years. I've read a lot of other people saying this song is unbearable - I didn't hate it that much the only couple of times I heard it, but I guess I'll trust the people on this one.

205. Jason Derulo - In My Head

204. Shawn Mendes - Stitches

203. Drake - God's Plan

202. Gabrielle Aplin - The Power of Love. Tepid M and S shite, really.

201. Duke Dumont featuring Jax Jones - I Got U

200. Storm Queen - Look Right Through

199. Duke Dumont featuring A*M*E - Need U (100%)

198. Sam Smith - Stay with Me

197. Bingo Players featuring Far East Movement  - Get Up (Rattle). Bingo Players featuring Far East Movement is an authentically impenetrable name for a chart-topping act. 

196. Iyaz - Replay

195. Sam Bailey - Skyscraper

194. DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper and Lil Wayne - I'm the One

193. Flo Rida - Good Feeling

192. Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song. Almost charming, but just not. I don't generally mind Bruno Mars, he's definitely got the skills, but just found this annoying.

191. Helping Haiti - Everybody Hurts

190. Tinie Tempah featuring Jess Glynne - Not Letting Go. Tinie Tempah another inescapable figure of the era.

189. Secondcity  - I Wanna Feel

188. Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop. This is a pretty good song, but, I'm afraid I'm going to sound very grandfathery here, I find it's unabashed hedonism unsettling.

187. Jason Derulo - Don't Wanna Go Home

186. Flo Rida featuring David Guetta - Club Can't Handle Me

185. Sam Smith - Money on My Mind

184. Owl City - Fireflies. This is, also, I believe, in some sense, indie, in de bad sense.

183. Little Mix - Cannonball. Little Damien Rice ... ooozing bad energy.

182. Oliver Heldens and Becky Hill - Gecko (Overdrive)

181. One Direction - One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks)

180. Cher Lloyd - Swagger Jagger

179. Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud

178. Clean Bandit featuring Demi Lovato - Solo. So low?

177. David Zowie - House Every Weekend

176. The Justice Collective - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

175. Ava Max - Sweet but Psycho

174. Shout for England featuring Dizzee Rascal and James Corden - Shout. Really, those were the times that they were.

173. One Direction - Little Things

172. Cheryl - Call My Name. I found Cheryl's Number 1s a little more fun than I thought they'd be.

171. Sak Noel - Loca People. As Bake-Off fans sometimes say ...

170. LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett and GoonRock  - Party Rock Anthem. If you say so ...

169. Cheryl Cole - Promise This

168. Drake - Nice for What

167. Jason Derulo -Want to Want Me

166. Nico & Vinz - Am I Wrong

165. Dvbbs and Borgeous featuring Tinie Tempah - Tsunami (Jump)

164. will.i.am featuring Eva Simons - This Is Love. I've listened to the last five songs in the last week and I can't remember a single thing about any of them right now, so I think I may be being over-generous, as vague recollection should probably be a bare minimum for a spot in the coveted top 170.

163. Cover Drive - Twilight. This is perfectly nice, and it's good to see a cricket-related band name.

162. Rachel Platten - Fight Song

161. Lost Frequencies - Are You with Me

160. Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth  - See You Again

159. Sigma featuring Paloma Faith - Changing. Jeez, there are a lot of these ...

158. Route 94 featuring Jess Glynne - My Love

157. Calvin Harris and Alesso featuring Hurts - Under Control

156. JLS featuring Dev - She Makes Me Wanna

155. Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath

154. Rita Ora featuring Tinie Tempah - RIP

153. Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor - Marvin Gaye. In this big area of love ...

152. Pixie Lott - All About Tonight

151. Roll Deep - Green Light

150. B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars - Nothin' on You

149. One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful

148. Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul and Anne-Marie - Rockabye

147. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are (Amazing)

146. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do. This was, a little remarkably, Swift's first ever UK Number 1, and the only one of this decade. Not a big fan of this one, to be honest.

145. Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran - River. Sounds like a good song, but just isn't.

144. One Direction - Drag Me Down

143. Ariana Grande featuring Iggy Azalea - Problem

142. Martin Garrix - Animals

141. The Saturdays featuring Sean Paul - What About Us

140. Olly Murs featuring Rizzle Kicks - Heart Skips a Beat

139. Dappy - No Regrets. The Dappy years ....no fun looking up Dappy's wikipedia, though ...

138. B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams - Airplanes

137. JLS - The Club Is Alive

136. Sam Smith - Writing's on the Wall

135. Psy - Gangnam Style. As less of a fan of fun than many people, I have few feelings about this song.

134. Bruno Mars - Grenade

133. KDA featuring Tinie Tempah and Katy B  - Turn the Music Louder (Rumble)

132. Sam Smith - Too Good at Goodbyes

131. Major Lazer featuring Justin Bieber and MØ - Cold Water

130. Calvin Harris featuring John Newman - Blame

129. Sam Smith featuring John Legend - Lay Me Down

128. David Guetta featuring Sam Martin - Lovers on the Sun

127. Rita Ora - I Will Never Let You Down. OK, we're finally into the territory where some of these are quite good and memorable.

126. DJ Fresh featuring Sian Evans - Louder

125. Olly Murs featuring Flo Rida - Troublemaker

124. Katy Perry - Part of Me

123. DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna and Bryson Tiller - Wild Thoughts

122. Adele - Hello. Weirdly long ago. I feel like it was Adele's new single. I don't pay much attention to Adele, for whatever reason.

121. Rixton - Me and My Broken Heart

120. The Wanted - Glad You Came

119. Calvin Harris and Sam Smith - Promises. Calvin's such a hit machine, he really is. Most of it is good but doesn't quite work for me, but the odd one really does, as we'll get to.

118. Benny Blanco, Halsey and Khalid - Eastside

117. Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean? And Bieber is definitely someone who has done all these massive hit singles and I've listened to them enough but none of them ever hold a proper place in my head.

116. Jess Glynne - Don't Be So Hard on Yourself. Having always been quite sniffy about Jess Glynne, I'd definitely say her records have got more oomph than a lot of the others.

115. Kesha - We R Who We R

114. Rihanna featuring Drake - What's My Name? Can even excuse Drake on this one.

113. Ellie Goulding - Love Me like You Do

112. Wiley featuring Ms D - Heatwave

111. Tulisa - Young

110. Calvin Harris - Summer

109. Mr Probz - Waves

108. Rudimental featuring Ella Eyre - Waiting All Night

107. Justin Bieber     Sorry

106. Wretch 32 featuring Josh Kumra - Don't Go

105. Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch - Sweet Nothing. Pretty good actually

104. Years & Years - King. Insidious. And Olly Alexander was in Stuart Murdoch's film, so plus points for that.

103. Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner - Written in the Stars

102. Gotye featuring Kimbra - Somebody That I Used to Know. Couldn't bring myself to love this.

101. Jessie J featuring B.o.B - Price Tag

100. Yolanda Be Cool and DCUP - We No Speak Americano

99. Florence and the Machine - Spectrum (Say My Name)

98. The Script featuring will.i.am - Hall of Fame. Very Series 1 of The Voice around this point ...

97. Jess Glynne - Hold My Hand

96. JLS - Love You More

95. Example - Changed the Way You Kiss Me. Missed Example at the time. Or at least, I vaguely remember him previously in the music press as a somewhat indie rapper, and then he was having big hit singles, puzzlingly.

94. Sam and the Womp - Bom Bom

93. Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber - I Don't Care. Both quite bland singers, imo, but I didn't mind this.

92. Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa  - One Kiss

91. Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg - California Gurls

90. Calvin Harris featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry and Big Sean  - Feels

89. Zayn - Pillowtalk

88. The Wanted - All Time Low

87. James Arthur - Say You Won't Let Go. I remember watching James Arthur's X Factor audition and I wouldn't have expected at that point he would write and record one of the most popular songs of all time. which is this fairly bland but pleasant ballad, which was apparently cribbed from a song by The Script.

86. Swedish House Mafia featuring John Martin - Don't You Worry Child

85. Maroon 5 featuring Wiz Khalifa - Payphone. Funnily enough, I loathed those first songs of Maroon 5 in the mid-2000s more than life itself - This Love, She Will Be Loved etc - perhaps because it was still worth it then, there was still lot of guitar music in the charts, and I wanted to be clear "not this guitar music!" By the time the likes of this and Moves Like Jagger came out, I guess I'd given up - it was a decent tune - I didn't listen to it enough to hate it. I once, erroneously, described Arcade Fire as the North American Coldplay, which they very much didn't turn out to be, but Maroon 5 are absolutely the American Coldplay, in a lot of ways. I will expand at a later date.

84. George Ezra - Shotgun. I know Ed Sheeran came first, but in some ways it was George Ezra who really broke the back of solo boys with catchy tunes and guitars being back at the top of the charts, which is really the thing again now. Look, I've seen a class of 6 year olds going nuts to this. It's ok in my book.

83. Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Macklemore and Dan Caplen - These Days. Broke through a bit, this song, which a lot of songs don't.

82. Sigala - Easy Love

81. Aloe Blacc - The Man

80. The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey - Closer

79. Matt Cardle - When We Collide. Mon the Biffy, as they say.

78. Sigma - Nobody to Love

77. Robbie Williams - Candy. Even RW was, by this point, a lesser enemy.

76. CeeLo Green - Forget You

75. Example  - Stay Awake

74. Little Mix - Wings

73. Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne - Rather Be

72. Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber - Despacito

71. Ariana Grande - 7 Rings

70. Jess Glynne - I'll Be There

69. Roll Deep  - Good Times

68. PJ & Duncan - Let's Get Ready to Rhumble. So many lyrics, I tell you, they had so many lyrics they were actually frightened to use them. Frightened, they were. Frightened. 

67. Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved. Fuck it, it's a nice song. Just staggeringly popular. And you know, he seems like a guy one should wish well.

66. Ed Sheeran - Sing. I guess this song was the first sign of the true scale of Sheeran's ambition (to fill the world with ok, slightly boring songs) ...

65. Take That - These Days. Generous, but i put it on a couple of days ago and it was better than i remembered.

64. 5 Seconds of Summer - She Looks So Perfect. Quite an earworm this.

63. Nero - Promises. I promise not to fiddle while Rome burns etc

62. Naughty Boy featuring Sam Smith - La La La. Quite good, this. I've generally found the Sam Smith songs a bit better than I thought.

61. Baddiel, Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - Three Lions. Even in 2018, when this went back to Number 1, it felt like quite a powerful thing. Southgate really did, or almost did, some good about national stereotypes and identity. Of course, the English man turned on him.

60. Olly Murs - Please Don't Let Me Go. Quite like Olly Murs, to be honest. Think he's got that Bradley Walsh "bit of a clown but actually good at everything" aspect to him.

59. Avicii vs. Nicky Romero  - I Could Be the One

58.Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj - Bang Bang

57. Adele - Someone Like You

56. Justin Bieber - Love Yourself

55. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper - Shallow

54. DJ Fresh featuring Rita Ora  - Hot Right Now

53. Olly Murs - Dance with Me Tonight

52. Dizzee Rascal - Dirtee Disco. Would probably have been better as Dizzee Disco by Dirtee Rascal, but there we go. I suppose these things are thought through.

51. Ariana Grande - Thank U, Next

50. Dave featuring Fredo - Funky Friday

49. Lil Nas X  - Old Town Road

48. Justin Timberlake - Mirrors. Timberlake, rather like a male Katy Perry, has been cast to the critical and online wolves. The people love to see these people fail now. I can see it with Perry - the story of her being responsible for the death of a nun is not good vibes, amongst many other spectacular feats of tonedeafery - but i think Timberlake has been a bit harshly dealt with. He's funny! Dick in a box! I mean, come on ...He's pretty good at acting. And quite a few of his songs were pretty good. 

47. Labrinth featuring Emeli Sandé  - Beneath Your Beautiful.

46. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

45. Coldplay - Paradise. Indie rock! Youth explosion! The new Radiohead! The new Jeff Buckley!

44. Diana Vickers - Once

43. Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy - Take Me Back to London. This is pretty funny and endearing, I thought. I expect it got a few brickbats for cultural tourism or whatever, but i think it's pretty knowing and well judged.

42. Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug - Havana

41. Mike Posner - I Took a Pill in Ibiza. It's nice to hear lyrics, you know. Levels, sadness, regret, looking inward. I'm not saying this is a great song, but sometimes it's just nice to hear a song.

40. Cheryl - I Don't Care. They're quite fun, these songs by Cheryl. I didn't realise that. I thought they'd be bad. 

39. Cheryl featuring Tinie Tempah - Crazy Stupid Love

38. Eminem featuring Rihanna - The Monster. Rihanna is obviously great, but, with Eminem, I've heard enough of and read enough about his later stuff to know that he just don't got it anymore, but it's still the case that, on something like this, where he's doing the bare minimum but not too much, he's a great voice and flow, better than most.

37. Ellie Goulding - Burn

36. Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé - Telephone. Beyoncé's only Number 1 of the decade, surprisingly, just a little guest slot. This was the decade where she was more into albums.

35. Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid - Beautiful People

34. Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello - Señorita

33. OneRepublic - Counting Stars

32. Rudimental featuring John Newman - Feel the Love

31. Professor Green featuring Emeli Sandé  - Read All About It. Funny how Emeli Sandé was everywhere and having countless hits and then it all stopped. 

30. Rita Ora - How We Do (Party). That's also slightly, though less, true of Rita Ora. I remember seeing these two (i think with the much-maligned Marquis de Mumford) singing Lean on Me at a concert for Grenfell which was on TV, and contrary what I'd thought would happen, Emeli Sandé's voice was decent, ok, a bit strained. and Rita Ora really sang the shit out of it. In a good way.

29. John Newman - Love Me Again

28. Jessie J - Domino

27. Alexandra Burke featuring Laza Morgan  - Start Without You

26. Pharrell Williams - Happy. Well you know, it's no Blurred Lines ...

25. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz - Thrift Shop

24. Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk

23. Fun featuring Janelle Monáe  - We Are Young. I mean, if you come to this song expecting to hear the full extent of the untameable talent of Janelle Monáe, you'll be disappointed, but, you know, it's almost indie rock, and it certainly has a chorus.

22. Little Mix - Shout Out to My Ex. Another song with a chorus.

21. Rihanna - Only Girl (In the World). I'll go into more specifics later, but clearly Rihanna is the great pop singer of this decade.

20. Taio Cruz - Dynamite

19. Lilly Wood and Robin Schulz - Prayer in C. This is an odd one, a pleasant surprise. It's a "folk song" (not really) remixed, it talks about the seas covering the earth, which you don't get enough of in modern pop songs, and it is not all that good but makes a change.

18. Kiesza - Hideaway

17. Avicii    Wake Me Up

16. Tinie Tempah - Pass Out. One of those ones, a bit like Time to Pretend by MGMT, where the intro made the career.

15. Katy Perry - Roar. Firework was not a Number 1, but this was, and you know, it is a certain type of terrifying pop music. 

14. Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams - Get Lucky. You know the one, sing hallelujah come on, get lucky ... the streaming numbers on this are high but not as high as some. I suspect people listened to it in 2013 over and over and over and then were heartily sick of it for several years.

13. Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson - Symphony

12. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance. Also a Number 1 in 2009. Lady Gaga has had multiple Number 1s in three decades, which is pretty good going. For other monster artists, the 2010s are a little surprising. Just one Swift, just one Beyonce, no Weeknd, no Kanye West, No Kendrick Lamar, Cardi B or Nicki Minaj, nothing yet from Billie Eilish. There's also, as mentioned, no proper British "indie" bands. The two biggest British bands apart from Coldplay were the 1975 and the Arctic Monkeys, whose songs from AM have huge streaming numbers, but didn't make the Top 5 of the singles chart. They just tick over. Anyway, Bad Romance, good song, really ...

11. Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris - We Found Love. I remember seeing the two of them perform this on TV at the time and thinking "well, that's ... odd". It is an odd song for the biggest pop singer in the world to sing. It's basically just one line. It's a proper rave song, unapologetically. It is a good line, though, and I've read Harris saying that he was thinking of somewhere like Jumping Jaks in Dumfries ... which really adds to the poetry, imagining Rihanna in a desperate sticky small-town nightclub. Anyway, I read a long piece on this song a year or two ago which really described what a monumental euphoric floorfiller it was at the time, and that, ultimately, was the key to its success, that it really really got people dancing.

10. Lorde - Royals. Maybe, in a way, the most significant song on the list. I've heard it said that pop music started to get better, to regain its character and freedom, again from this point. But ... I've never exactly loved it, so I can't put it higher. All my favourite Lorde songs so far are from Melodrama, her second album (for me, one of the great albums of the century). I really hope her next album recaptures that.

9. Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball

8. Little Mix - Black Magic

7. Icona Pop featuring Charli XCX - I Love It

6. Ella Henderson - Ghost. Funny, really, how despite everything, so many very good pop songs did emerge from alumni of Simon Cowell shows.

5. Harry Styles - Sign of the Times. After seeing them form on The X Factor, I rather disdained One Direction and could hardly have hummed one of their songs when they were going. I knew Harry Styles was considered the cool and charismatic one, but not much else. I did read an interview with them in the Guardian towards the end of their time, and you could tell Styles was playing a whole different game to the others. This game. A better debut single than it had any right to be, his voice sounding utterly grown-up and self-possessed, and really just establishing that he would be the one to bet on. His later singles have been even better, but this was a start.

4. Stormzy - Vossi Bop. As I've said, what's often the glaring absence from the 2000s and 2010s pop music (though, thankfully, not 2020s) is lyricism. They don't even have to be good lyrics, just words which mean something. So, yes, I love Vossi Bop. I love "fuck Boris". I love hearing a sound like this at the top of the charts.

3. Dua Lipa - New Rules

2. David Guetta featuring Sia - Titanium. The two top songs are both written by Sia, and she also wrote Chandelier, so she was onto something good there. They have an old-fashioned grandeur, these songs. You can almost imagine Shirley Bassey or Barbra Streisand singing them.

1. Rihanna - Diamonds. I just read that Rihanna was trying to imitate Sia's vocal on the demo when she recorded it, which is interesting, because it's a remarkable vocal, almost tipping over into something comical, putting on different accents, but somehow magnificent. The contrast between the "shieen brieet lieke a diemond" and the hint of the Bajan West countty burr in the "you and oy" (maybe i'm exaggerating a bit ...)... anyway, in my opinion, Rihanna had the best Number 1 of the 2010s and almost the best Number 1 of the 2000s, but sadly has been almost completely quiet in the 2020s. We shall see ...

Talking of the 2020s, I think I'll do'em. Or half of them. And since I'm a completist, I'll do the 50s too. Why not? Both will not take all that long and, I think, will be quite enjoyable ...

I thought doing the 2010s would take longer, but it's been quite fun, even though there were very many despicable songs at the start. 

All the UK Number 1s of the .... 1960s - ranked

Quite a curious tale, this. You'd expect the 60s Number 1s to be the best. This was the decade, after all, when popular became great, when the two bands considered the greatest of all time were also the two biggest. This was the decade of Motown, of folk-rock, of the British Invasion, of Psychedelia, and all of these were completely in the mainstream. Yet, curiously, the Number 1s very often miss the mark.

There are very few Motown Number 1s in the UK - just three. No Stax or Aretha Franklin. No Dylan, no Who. I'd say that, generally, the Beatles songs that got to Number 1 are not their best songs. They're still great, but, if I'm making a list of my favourite Beatles songs (which I have done), only 2 of my favourite 20 got to Number 1. This is less true of the Rolling Stones, where their Number 1s are really great, some of their best ever songs.

The main issue, of course, with ranking the Numbers 1 of the 1960s, is, of course, the early stuff. The pre-enlightenment stuff. Obviously, there were many great songs before 1963, but they didn't make it to the top of the UK singles charts, clearly. Working my way through the songs I didn't know before 1963 was such a slog. More even than I thought it would be. The best part of the whole thing is it gave me the best insight I've ever had as to what hearing the Rolling Stones for the first time was actually like - when It's All Over Now finally turned up on my playlist, it was like a bolt of lightning.

Saying that, one of the fun parts of doing this has been discovered unknown or barely noticed gems. There were more in the 70s but still a few here. But we start with ...

186. Cliff Richard - Congratulations. Well, I've always hated Congratulations, and that's that. Cliff will not, in general, fare too badly here, but I have 40 years of loathing for this song.

185. Johnny Preston - Running Bear. Of its time, shall we say.

185. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Little Children. Of its ...

184. Jet Harris and Tony Meehan  - Diamonds. These two were in the Shadows. There is so much Shadows-related stuff in the early 60s, and, with all due respect to Hank's skilz, it is a bit heard-one, heard-em-all.

183. The Shadows - Dance On! As above.

182. Frank Ifield - Confessin'. Frank Ifield had four Number 1s. Did you know that? Four!

180. Elvis Presley  - Wooden Heart. Presley's Number 1s in the 60s were mainly twee, unbecoming, tat, this being the epitome of that.

179. The Temperance Seven - You're Driving Me Crazy. Well, I know there weren't seven of them. 

178. Jimmy Jones - Good Timin'

177. Cilla Black - Anyone Who Had a Heart. Slightly ludicrous to put this magnificent song (probably one of the best songs on the whole list) so low, but I'm Team Dionne Warwick.

176. The Four Pennies - Juliet

175. Frank Ifield - The Wayward Wind. Not Frank Field.

174. Elvis Presley - Good Luck Charm

173. Floyd Cramer - On the Rebound

172. Des O'Connor - I Pretend

171. Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames - Get Away

170. The Shadows - Foot Tapper. There isn't really all that much to say about many of these. Only so much fun being relentlessly specifically derogatory. I'll save it up. 

169. Frank Ifield - Lovesick Blues. A Hank Williams cover.

168. Michael Holliday - Starry Eyed

167. Georgie Fame - The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde

166. Elvis Presley - Surrender. Never meant shit to me.

165. The Shadows - Wonderful Land

164. Frankie Vaughan - Tower of Strength

163. Petula Clark - Sailor. Sounds like it will be more fun than it is.

162. Frank Ifield - I Remember You. The Ifield Supremacy.

161. Elvis Presley - Return to Sender

160. The Bachelors - Diane

159. Elvis Presley - She's Not You

158. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - I Love You. I will say, somewhat to my surprise, Cliff sounds much more coherent and engaged than Elvis in the 60s. Apart from Congratulations, none of his Number 1s set my teeth on edge, and a few of them, as we'll get to, are great.

157. Adam Faith - Poor Me

156. Marmalade - Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. My first encounter with several Lennon-McCartney songs (I didn't even know it was the Beatles at that point) was a Learn the Piano book we had, with basic versions of the tunes and the words underneath. Even then, with Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, I thought "what the hell's that?"

155. Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - Young Girl. Actually quite a good tune, but you know ...

154. Elvis Presley - Crying in the Chapel

153. Peter and Gordon - A World Without Love

152. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Bad to Me

151. The Shadows - Kon-Tiki

150. Eddie Cochran - Three Steps to Heaven. Probably an unfair placing but I'd heard this was a classic record, and I think I just thought it would be better ...

149. Gerry and the Pacemakers - I Like It

148. Jim Reeves - Distant Drums

147. Eden Kane - Well I Ask You

146. Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames - Yeh, Yeh

145. Ken Dodd - Tears. Sold a really vast number of copies.

144. The Searchers - Don't Throw Your Love Away

143. Cliff Richard - The Minute You're Gone

142. Elvis Presley - It's Now or Never

141. Engelbert Humperdinck - The Last Waltz. So we're out of the sludge and generally now at least have records with a bit of character.

140. Hugo Montenegro - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

139. Esther & Abi Ofarim - Cinderella Rockefella. Well, this is an odd record.

138. Anthony Newley - Why

137. Ricky Valance - Tell Laura I Love Her. There is so much tragic death in the Number 1s of the 60s. Really, people couldn't get enough of it ...

136. The Marcels - Blue Moon

135. Amen Corner - (If Paradise Is) Half as Nice

134. Helen Shapiro - You Don't Know

133. The Honeycombs - Have I the Right?

132. Gerry and the Pacemakers - How Do You Do It?

131. Mike Sarne with Wendy Richard - Come Outside. Actually quite funny.

130. Emile Ford and the Checkmates  - What Do You Want to Make Those Eyes at Me For?

129. The Highwaymen - Michael

128. The Rolling Stones  - Little Red Rooster. The lowest Stones Number 1. People always talk disparagingly about them being a blues covers band, and I kind of get it here. 

127. Jackie Trent - Where Are You Now. And what else did Jackie Trent do, of course? She wrote the theme for Neighbours.

126. The Seekers - I'll Never Find Another You

125. Johnny Tillotson  - Poetry in Motion

124. The Overlanders - Michelle

123. Scott McKenzie  - San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)

122. Sonny & Cher - I Got You Babe. Now a bad vibes record.

121. The Dave Clark Five - Glad All Over

120. Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight? At least this song is very Elvissy.

119. The Archies - Sugar, Sugar

118. Long John Baldry - Let the Heartaches Begin

117. The Equals - Baby, Come Back

116. Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg - Je t'aime... moi non plus

115. The Everly Brothers - Walk Right Back / Ebony Eyes. Walk Right Back is good, Ebony Eyes is another death record. The Everly Brothers always, of course, make a proper nice noise.

114. The Searchers - Sweets for My Sweet. I see, with this and Baby Come Back, I've really put the records pop-reggaefied by midlanders in the mid-90s close together.

113. Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual

112. Herman's Hermits - I'm Into Something Good

111. Elvis Presley - (You're the) Devil in Disguise

110. The Beatles - From Me to You. So this is the lowest Beatles Number 1, and really, although I've said their Number 1s are not my favourite Beatles songs, none of them are bad. Not even close. You'd be happy to hear all of them on a rainy day. From Me to You is a great record, by any standards. But I suppose there has to be some differentiation, and I've never loved it.

109. Frank Sinatra - Strangers in the Night. Haunted by Ray Stubbs' version of this on Celebrity Fame Academy.

108. The Monkees - I'm a Believer.

107. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - The Legend of Xanadu

106. Petula Clark - This Is My Song

105. The Everly Brothers - Temptation

104. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - Please Don't Tease

103. The Scaffold - Lily the Pink

102. Anthony Newley - Do You Mind?

101. Fleetwood Mac  - Albatross

100. Tommy Roe - Dizzy. This is, not surprisingly, a much better record than the Vic Reeves cover.

99. Gerry and the Pacemakers - You'll Never Walk Alone

98. B. Bumble and the Stingers - Nut Rocker

97. The Troggs - With a Girl Like You. Gave this a listen a few days and initially thought "that's not much of a song" but it's absolutely been going around my head since.

96. Cilla Black - You're My World. As a sworn Dionne Warwick supporter/loather of Cilla's voice, I expected to put this lower, put actually her voice does fine on this, and it's a very nice song, so I can't honestly put it too low.

95. John Leyton - Johnny Remember Me. Quite a fun, imaginative instance of the creepy-death songs those 60s kids loved.

94. Thunderclap Newman - Something in the Air

93. Joe Cocker - With a Little Help from My Friends

92. The Beatles - All You Need Is Love

91. The Tremeloes - Silence Is Golden

90. Frank and Nancy Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid

89.The Byrds - Mr. Tambourine Man. What's a bit weird is that I love the sound of the Byrds, so much so that when I had Pandora radio where you could build a playlist around an artist (seemed so innovative at the time) my first one was "Sounds like the Byrds", - but I just don't dig the Byrds. They're all so annoying in their grooviness. and just a bit empty. This record adds a little and takes so much more from Mr Tambourine Man.

88. Roger Miller - King of the Road

87. Johnny Kidd and the Pirates - Shakin' All Over

86. Lonnie Donegan - My Old Man's a Dustman

85. The Move - Blackberry Way. When I was writing about the Number 1s of the 1970s, I expressed mild remorse at being served at a bar ahead of the rock innovator Roy Wood, but I looked Roy Wood up and he's well Ukippy-Brexitty, so I feel less remorse now.

84. The Beatles - Paperback Writer. I couldn't figure out why McCartney had written Paperback Writer until I found our why he'd written it - as a challenge based on something his aunt said. Which makes sense. It sounds like an exercise in songwriting. It's good, but I've never loved it.

83. The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love

82. The Spencer Davis Group - Somebody Help Me. Steve Winwood is really, as a lot believe but not enough for it not to be true, say, one of the unsung greats.

81. Roy Orbison - Only the Lonely. Don't turn me home again, I just can't face myself alone again.

80. Elvis Presley - (Marie's the Name) His Latest Flame / Little Sister

79. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - The Next Time / Bachelor Boy

78. Manfred Mann - Do Wah Diddy Diddy. Paul Jones is another classic guy, still singing like a demon in his 80s. The odd fact that rock'n'roll really took off in the 1960s because the British middle and upper class boys really committed hard to it. Paul Jones has always had the air of an amiable family GP, but, boy, could he sing the "blues".

77. The Searchers - Needles and Pins. A fine record, but haunted by the wedding band and and feckin' and's version of it in The Commitments.

76. Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)? Just for a laugh, ahahaha

75. Sandie Shaw - Puppet on a String

74. Engelbert Humperdinck  - Release Me

73. The Hollies - I'm Alive. As mentioned before, I think the Hollies are one of the most interesting bands of the 60s.

72. Sandie Shaw - Long Live Love

71. The Rolling Stones  - The Last Time

70. Roy Orbison  - Oh Pretty Woman. Somehow that's a very funny title for a song, depending on how you emphasize it.

69. Danny Williams - Moon River. One of the greatest songs.

68. Helen Shapiro - Walkin' Back to Happiness

67. Bee Gees - I've Gotta Get a Message to You

66. Mary Hopkin - Those Were the Days. Produced by McCartney as well. and just a great tune.

65. Zager and Evans - In the Year 2525

64. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising. Well, did you know this is one of the tiny handful of songs on this list with over a billion spotify listens? Did you?

63. The Kinks - Tired of Waiting for You

62. The Beatles - I Want to Hold Your Hand. I gather some people liked it.

61. The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women

60. The Beatles - Lady Madonna

59. The Seekers - The Carnival Is Over. An authentically melancholy lyric and melody.

58. The Rolling Stones - It's All Over Now

57. Shirley Bassey - Reach for the Stars / Climb Ev'ry Mountain. 

56. Brian Poole and the Tremeloes - Do You Love Me. This is a reasonable effort by the Tremeloes at capturing the excitement of the original Contours version. This song was written by Berry Gordy himself. What an incredible man...

55. The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko. I think I only properly heard this when I was about 17, and it really thrilled me. The chorus seemed really daring.

54. The Shadows - Apache. As I said, the Shadows are a bit one-and-done for me. But this is the one - their most famous and memorable song.

53. The Tornados - Telstar

52. Ray Charles - I Can't Stop Loving You

51. The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night

50. Tom Jones - Green, Green Grass of Home. Bit of a sucker for the green, green grass of home.

49. Tommy James and the Shondells - Mony Mony

48. Bee Gees - Massachusetts. I think when I first heard this I thought it was called "My Seducers".

47. Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

46. The Beatles - Help!

45. Manfred Mann - Pretty Flamingo

44. The Animals - The House of the Rising Sun. Call Dave van Ronk ...

43. The Everly Brothers - Cathy's Clown

42. Desmond Dekker and the Aces - Israelites

41. The Beach Boys - Do It Again. This is very Mike Love's Beach Boys and it kind of pumps along, but, I don't know, it's a good tune ...

40. Roy Orbison - It's Over

39. The Beatles - She Loves You

38. Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love / Rock-A-Hula Baby. Ok, this is good ...

37. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon

36. The Beatles - Hello, Goodbye. Even Hello, Goodbye, I had it a bit lower, and then you just think, if anyone else had done this, it would have been their best, catchiest, most imaginative song ...

35. Manfred Mann - Mighty Quinn. After the crash, Dylan laid down lots of basic tracks with the band for other folk to have hits with, and it was a fair success. Quinn the Eskimo is one of his most throwaway, most catchy songs.

34. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - The Young Ones.

33. The Foundations - Baby Now That I've Found You

32. The Moody Blues - Go Now. Really into the classic "Best Hits of the 60s" petrol station compilations here ...

31. Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade of Pale. Fucked if I know, Terry ...

30. The Spencer Davis Group - Keep On Running

29. The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire. Still the unchallenged craziest ...

28. The Beatles with Billy Preston - Get Back. Tucson is in Arizona, yeah!

27. Chris Farlowe - Out of Time. Young Jagger wrote some nasty songs, all right

26. The Beatles - I Feel Fine. Because of its basic title, I always associate this with first flush of Beatles, but it's just at the transition to the next level, and it is a step up in sound and sophistication, but also just a great tune. 

25. The Supremes - Baby Love. In the good ol' US of A, the Supremes had 12 Number 1s. just absolutely swept the board, but here it was only one. This isn't my favourite Supremes song, but it's pretty magical.

24. The Walker Brothers - Make It Easy on Yourself. 

23. Del Shannon - Runaway. No Amitri, but a pretty good Del.

22. Bobbie Gentry - I'll Never Fall in Love Again. No Landed, but a pretty good Gentry.

21. The Rolling Stones - Get Off of My Cloud

20. Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World

19. The Beatles - Yellow Submarine / Eleanor Rigby. What were the Beatles? They were this, I guess.

18. Small Faces - All or Nothing

17. Unit 4 + 2 - Concrete and Clay. I half-knew this song, I guess. It's in a couple of cool films and it's on Kevin Rowland's My Beauty, but I'd never really properly noticed it until this week and it is a C-H-O-O-N tune! I think, right now, it is my favourite song in the world.

16. The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

15. The Beatles - Hey Jude. From the album The Best of the Beatles.

14. Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through the Grapevine

13. The Beatles - Ticket to Ride

12. The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

11. Cliff Richard and the Shadows - Summer Holiday. You know, there's Cliff Richard who is the weird, impossibly uncool, guy of our lifetimes and the Cliff Richard who is the really marvellous film star/singer of his prime, and all that stuff really is great. I love the song and the film Summer Holiday, and that's that.

10. Sandie Shaw - (There's) Always Something There to Remind Me

9. Love Affair  - Everlasting Love. Notwithstanding that this is a tune for the ages, I also like the fact that the band look like a bunch of Kent toughs from the mid-2000s.

8. The Rolling Stones - Jumpin' Jack Flash. Just really really good.

7.The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore. This was written by Bob Crewe, who wrote some songs, let me tell you ... Big Girls Don't Cry, Can't Take My Eyes off You, this, Lady Marmalade, Bye Bye Baby, Silence is Golden ... some songs.

6. The Kinks - You Really Got Me

5. The Beatles - Day Tripper / We Can Work It Out. WCWIO remains my favourite Beatles song, and, honestly, if this was We Can Work It Out /Day Tripper, it might be Number 1, but the fact that Day Tripper, which I don't really love, goes first, is unignorable... so 5 it is.

4. The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

3. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations. It needs to be said over and over again how much it was Carl Wilson who lifted the Beach Boys to the highest level of beauty. His lead vocal on this, on God Only Knows, on so much. 

2. Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There. Levi Stubbs was nooooo joke.

1. Dusty Springfield - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me. Someone's got to put Northfields on top ... apparently, Dusty Springfield needed over 40 takes to get this to her satisfaction. Rather like Rihanna, though obviously very different, she just had a voice perfectly suited to recording. Perhaps this is slightly contrarian, whimsical Number 1, but I also think, of its type, it's simply the best there is.

So there we go, that was the 60s, where something or other began between the end of the "Chatterley" ban and the Beatles' first LP, apparently.

I will, I think, go from this to the 2010s, but that will take a lot longer, and I may give up, if it's too arduous, though it is a task of some professional worth.

Otherwise, I think the Number 1s of the 80s are probably best, on balance, just about, against the quality of the music in general. Like, I think a lot of the very best songs of the 1980s were Number 1s, and I think that's less true of the other decades. But hey, what do I know?